💜 The MOMentum of Love
Moms are Mythical, Memorable and MARVELOUS
When my mom (I called her Marvelous Marjorie) died in 2003, a remarkable movie began playing inside my head- of every kind thing she had ever done for me- every sweater she brought along, every sandwich cut diagonally- seemingly endless tiny and large kindnesses. This interior film played for weeks, and still replays fairly often.
There had also been unkind things of course- from both of us. I worked through many of those in therapy, and also with her. Thankfully that particular movie doesn’t play inside my head now.
What I am most moved to say today about moms and about mothering is that there is a MOMentum to love and to loving, and I love that the word mom is part of that word momentum!
Most moms use momentum to multiply love like this definition:
1. the quantity of motion of a moving body 2. the impetus gained by a moving object
My mom was a moving body radiating love wherever she went. The momentum of that love is still felt, as those of us who knew her continue to share that love in the world.
And sadly, there can be converse momentum with abuse, neglect or abandonment in difficult or traumatic relationships with mothers.
When this occurs, I’m glad that we have the opportunity to choose additional moms and accept mothering from other sources. And that we can get professional help to rebuild feelings of love and safety, and learn how to mother ourselves too.
Let’s be sure to include and honor all the other kinds of moms there are: mothers who have adopted children (officially or unofficially), step mothers, trans moms, foster moms, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, godmothers and aunts. You can honor any person who fills a mothering role in your life.
I’m happy now to share momentous (here’s mom again, leaping inside the word momentous!) love with my darling husband David’s 2 grown children. I’ve been experimenting with what to call them- since “step” doesn’t really work for me. I tried to use “step forward” but it felt awkward. I appreciate everyone who wrote to tell me that they use the word “bonus” which certainly has appeal, and for various reasons doesn’t quite work for how I experience them.
I think that for me, they feel like a miracle son and a miracle daughter, since they arrived like miracles in my life and continue to teach me more about momentum and the momentous nature of love.
What have you discovered, learned and experienced about moms and mothering? What do you do to mother or re-mother yourself?
Share your thoughts and feelings, I’ll love to read them. If you’d rather call and share with me, I recorded a new Inspiration Line message, it’s free 25 hours a day at: 415 546 3742.