I traveled from my home in San Francisco to Boston to meet my new lover and soulmate David for the first time on Sep 2. He had called my Inspiration phone Line on May 20, and we began our love relationship for many months- only by telephone.
We had decided that our first “date” would be a 2 week spiritual honeymoon- that we would skip the wedding and go straight to the honeymoon and have an “all honeymoon” relationship as much as possible- which includes ALL of our feelings, in this marvelous messy middle place called life.
I believe that there are always angels all around, and I met two of them the moment I sat down in my seat on the plane. Sandy & Bob have been married 56 years, and were seated right next to me.
I shared everything with Sandy about how David and I met, and my nervousness and excitement about meeting him in person for the first time, and about how it was newly dawning on me that our first date would also be two weeks of living together! Then her husband Bob joined in to our wildly intimate conversation.
Sandy and I spontaneously hugged many times and cried together too. The three of us bonded on all sorts of subjects, and I felt that they were helping to deliver me to my new life experience-on the first leg of their trip to Ireland.
After I got off the plane I called David, and he was in baggage claim waiting for me. A few moments later, I descended on the escalator and saw him right away.
It felt like my heart actually leapt toward him. We swooned into each other’s arms and embraced while we laughed and said “I love you” and just stayed that way as a mob of people seeking their luggage kept squeezing past us- and we couldn’t stop swooning.
Here we are together for the first time, about 5 minutes after we met.
We both felt like we were intoxicated- and I’m sure we were- but we somehow got the luggage and made it to the car for the drive to his home.
David had prepared his lake home as our honeymoon suite, by asking me in advance for a specific list of all of my favorite foods, favorite sheets, towels, scents and everything he could think of so I would feel exquisitely at home. He’d even stocked the refrigerator with all my favorite organic fruits and vegetables.
We’d planned that I’d have my own bedroom. He also offered to rent me a car and let me know about hiking trails nearby. We had discussed having together time and separate time, as we’re both writers and creators who appreciate that, and wanted to create our honeymoon to also be a creative retreat.
He’d replaced the chlorinated water in his hot tub with Bromine, and ordered my favorite enlightened board game- the Transformation Game- so we could play together. The stage was set for 2 weeks together without work, for 2 souls to truly commune.
And he hadn’t only readied his home for me, he’d readied his soul. We’d both been getting ourselves ready to meet, by practicing being and living the kind of love we’d always wanted.
He had written love letters in his journal to his soulmate several years before, as if they were already together. He also wrote beautiful love letters from his soulmate to him. Those letters sounded as if I had actually written them- the letters to him, were my letters- same spellings, and intonations. It is truly uncanny.
He made a series of audios to give to his soulmate when she arrived, and I’ve received the first one- which is remarkable- it’s him, talking intimately and deeply to me- years before meeting me.
All of these experiences showed me his commitment to experience and express love, and inspired me deeply to do the same. After John left, I wasn’t sure that I could open my heart so intimately again, and his willingness to do so, caused me and my heart to bloom forward hugely.
I’d brought him gifts of bright markers- he’s a writer and artist of life who creates and puts up colorfull signs of affirmation in his home, and writes them in neon markers on his windows and mirrors to help him embody positive uplifting messages.
He even put signs on each stair leading up to the second floor, which he calls the “stairway to heaven.” As he ascends the stairway he takes in each truth one stair at a time- and also has signs facing the other way, so he can read those going down!
I’d also brought one of my favorite children’s books to read together and one of my divination card decks to play with.
As marvelous as all of our time on the phone had been, the physical was- after some adjustment to actually being physical- even better.
And yes to the holy in person orgasms! And breakfast in bed, canoeing, hiking, hot tubbing on the deck, long talking and SO MUCH LAUGHING and creating.
We floated around together in a kind of earthly honeymoon heaven for a day or two, and then descended right into what I describe as a transformational cauldron- in the form of his being triggered by some business things, and withdrawing and becoming distant.
We didn’t seem able to talk about things in a way that we always had before. I felt uncomfortable and like he needed space. I also felt alone in a way that caused me to begin thinking of leaving. That then triggered all sorts of other things for us both, and we found ourselves floundering.
Thankfully our foundational basis of trust had been established over the phone for the past few months. So we shared “microtruthfully” about our experiences and feelings- first on the phone, from separate bedrooms – and then on a long hike through the woods- as we navigated the form and ways of communicating we wanted our relationship to take.
Of course this is the highly abbreviated version here- it felt at the time challenging, scary and not at all easy.
We agreed that I would stay, and that we would continue on our spiritual honeymoon, and that of course “transformational cauldrons” are part of that.
We settled into an easy new rhythm of writing in the mornings- and not seeing each other until lunch- which gave us both nourishing time for ourselves.
We then took a hike in nature together, and had plenty of time for lovemaking, cooking, playing, laughing, being- with plenty of both solitude and togetherness- my favorite combination, and David’s favorite too.
We continued sharing vulnerabilities and microtruths, and established even deeper intimacies.
My last love relationship with John had been like the best of being soulfully single- only better- and I knew I wanted that, or better with David. We created our version of that in this beginning of our time together, and recommitted to bringing ALL of ourselves to the relationship, and working through whatever comes up together- this is the “real life love story” part.
It’s also a commitment to use all of our feelings to create even more intimacy, which John & I wrote about in our amazing book, Succulent Wild Love.
I very reluctantly went home after 2 weeks as planned. During our month apart, we felt closer than ever, and I’ve now returned to his lake house for another 2 week visit (our second honeymoon!).
I’m also going to meet his parents and more of his family, while we continue our creative retreat- writing together and separately.
He’d like to move back to California soon, and the San Francisco Bay Area is looking really good to him- and to me. Amazingly, he had thought about moving back before he met me, and he also has family and friends in the area.
Who knows what forms and shapes love will take?
I’ve wondered about writing and sharing all of this publicly, just in case we don’t stay together in the same form we started with- as if that’s some kind of measure of “success.” I then reminded myself that the true success for us all is that love comes again, no matter what the form or length of time.
I also want to inspire those who wish to explore romantic- or other kinds- of love with another soul, to consider going inward, outward, forward in new ways, and take risks for, and with love.
David and I are committed to living the “all honeymoon life” together as much as possible, and that includes ALL of it- the marvelous, and not so marvelous, messy middle- and alchemizing the terrible and wonderfull things into a brand new healing mixture for ourselves and for the world.
I’m so glad and gratefull for every moment of love coming again, and plan to be as present as I can for all of its messy magnificence.
And of course I’m writing all about it, and will share my new book when it’s ready. It’s called:
Living Wonderfull: The Surprising Gifts of Terrible Things*
*and how to alchemize it all
Thank you all for traveling along and compassionately witnessing and celebrating my experience and being in my life!
I’ll be writing and sharing more of my love adventures too– let me know if you’d like to read them, and what parts have inspired you the most.
Here is my Inspiration Line number, which is free to call 24 hours a day, for the last 25 + years, at 415 546 3742.
I invite you to share this number with anyone who you feel would benefit from hearing it.