When my beloved fiancé John began to transition from his physical life in March of 2016, I asked him how I could possibly go on without him.
He said so radiantly to me,
“Oh Susan, you get happy- happier than you’ve ever been- and when love comes again, you go full speed ahead.”
And, as you keep reading, you’ll discover- and be inspired by- just how full speed ahead I’ve gone!
I knew it had been possible for him to experience another great love– he had met me 9 months after his beloved wife Jeanie transitioned. He said that they’d had the best marriage ever, and that in 10 years, the honeymoon had never ended.
This captured my attention, because I’d always wanted a real life unending honeymoon with a partner, and John and I definitely experienced that for the almost 4 years we were together. Then John suddenly got sick and began to die.
I felt incredulous that this could be happening, and devastated beyond imagining. It had been one of my greatest fears that if I ever truly loved someone, what would happen to me if they just died?
What actually happened, in addition to the devastation, was that I received so many gifts and so much awareness about the gifts of death (which spells GOD;-) and that I know now that love never dies. One of my greatest fears started transforming into one of my greatest gifts.
John chose to experience his illness as a profound guide and teacher, and of course, also navigated his own panoply of feelings about physically leaving. We came up with a plan that he would communicate with me after he left, so that I would really know that it was “him.”
It was an excruciating and beautifull journey we took for 9 months, and I was his primary caregiver. I learned so much about unconditionally loving during that time, and all the ways I resist loving. When John left, I didn’t see how I could ever recover.
John almost immediately began voluminously communicating with me from beyond the physical realm, and teaching me even more about love, and about life, and how there is no “death” the way we’re taught to think about it.
I’m writing all about these teachings in a new book called
Living Wonderfull: The Surprising Gifts of Terrible Things*
*and how to alchemize it all
And of course I’ll be sharing it with you when it’s ready!
And his leaving caused me to “grieve deeply and live wildly” over these past 2 1/2 years, and see if I could allow another great love to come into my life. John assured me from the afterlife that I would.
In May, I wrote and shared a post called “I’m Dating the World,” and here are some excerpts from it, because it’s relevant to what happened next:
“I’m enjoying responding with “I’m dating the world” when people ask me if I’m dating these days… I experienced a brief period of time last year when I was dating wonderfull men, and discovered that I wasn’t ready for more.
I’m reawakening my romantic heart slowly and more deliberately now. I’m allowing it to drip like honey. I’m trusting divine timing more than ever before.
Here I am on my birthday, drenched in love and fresh strawberries & whipped cream made by dear friends.
For me, dating the world is about reading all the poetry in my house while lying down and upside down in various spots of sunshine, and it’s about lying down in bright green grass watching flowers wave to me.
Dating the world means that I see love everywhere that I can – especially when it doesn’t look so good. It means that I blend and alchemize the wonderfull and terrible into a brand new mixture I can use more easily and then offer in healing to myself and the world…
Dating the world means that I’m never without company and rarely lonely. It means being completely surrounded with everything all-ways and practicing allowing more love IN than EVER.
Sending that love to you RIGHT NOW.”
Love Comes Again
Over 25 years ago, I created my Inspiration Line- a free phone line where I record an uplifting, depthfull message that people can call and listen to 24/7. I read poetry, sing songs and share from my heart. Many thousands of people leave messages, sharing their hearts and thoughts with me, in response to reading my books, taking one of my programs, or hearing my message. I’ve had the privilege of listening to what feels like the collective consciousness for all these years.
On May 20, I received an inspiring message on my Inspiration Line from a man responding to my email and post about dating the world. His voice was filled with love and joy, and although he made me laugh, his message also deeply touched my heart.
“Oh my God, I love you so much. I just love the letter you sent out about dating the world. That’s how I live too! And- it’s just so beautiful to recognize someone on the same frequency, you know? And female- just loving the world like that, thank you.
I’ve been listening to these messages for a lot of years and just loving it. And I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate it, and how much I love you for doing this.
(And then in one breath he exclaimed:)
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!
(And then he paused and asked:)
Is this too much?
(Then his message continued with the same passion)
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you! Thank you for everything. My name is David, and I’m just sending you lots of love. If you ever want to call or text here’s my number. I just so appreciate you and I’m just loving your heart right now. Thank you, take care, bye.”
I definitely felt highly intrigued by hearing his message, and excited that he might actually be living in my kind of frequency. I intuitively sensed his passion and joy, and I heard his not wanting anything, but just wanting to give me love and appreciation- and I called him back the next day. We immediately and profoundly connected with each other.
I quickly found him to be grounded, and as creatively prolific as me(!) and extremely funny and not at all normal- which for me, is an essential quality. He also had a lot of emotional intelligence and awareness and we began sharing everything about our lives. We were excited to discover that we shared incredibly similar ways of seeing the world and shockingly similar interests.
We spoke for many hours at a time and were both continually amazed by how deeply we connected in our talks. We began exploring ways we might relate with each other in the world.
Mostly we laughed together- sometimes for many minutes without a subject. I can honestly say that in these months since May, I’ve laughed harder than I’ve laughed at any other time of my life. It became more and more clear that we wanted to be together in some form.
We’ve been experiencing a quantum love union since then, and only through hundreds of hours of talking by telephone, and using other methods like sending audio notes, texts, photos, videos, and learning about each other while having no physical contact.
We were so glad to discover that we could connect so deeply soul to soul while being on opposite coasts of the country.
We briefly saw each other twice by video after months of talking, and it was immediately obvious to me that everything I wanted was there. Then we went right back to the particular intimacy of our phone calls.
I’ve always loved communicating on the phone, and so has David, and our love grew exponentially as we talked.
And we didn’t just talk…
We prayed, meditated, shared “micro truths” and explored our shadows and vulnerabilities together. We learned about and celebrated our uncanny commonalities and- uncommon differences. We started supporting each other in all areas of our lives and with our creative projects.
We created a foundational basis of trust and then became lovers too. Some would describe it as phone sex, which it certainly was, but it was much more. It was also soul level love making, and it allowed me to access profound orgasmic experiences that reached parts of my being that hadn’t been reached before.
My dear friend Amy pointed out to me that I fell in love with John on the physical level, and then he taught me about loving in the non physical realms. And that with David it was the opposite: I began loving him from the non-physical realms and then moved to the physical.
It’s all been PHENOMENALLY fantastic and also unusual for me to not share publicly. All of my books contain my personal life stories that are also universal. As you may know, I haven’t ever held back from sharing intimately, and this new love was bringing out new vulnerabilities, so I decided to go slowly with sharing.
David had also assessed that I had guards protecting my heart from previous traumas, and said; “I’m committed to your taking the time to feel as safe as you’ve ever felt with another person before you share your experiences publicly.”
He said he would help me to love and soothe those guards, and to love my shy self as much as my other aspects, and this touched me deeply, as I’d not had someone attend to my shy self like this before.
I decided to see what it felt like to really live in the experience before I started sharing it publicly, and it has felt immersive, tender and intimate.
David studied me, so he could love me better and help me feel safer and happier. He discovered what specific words encouraged and inspired me, and he learned who all my close friends are (and I have many!) and what I loved specifically about each one of them.
I loved being “studied” like this– because this is what I do with people I’m close to- I’ve just never had it applied so lovingly and thoroughly to me before.
He told me one day, “I’m majoring in Susan Kennedy, and minoring in SARK.”
Even though he had called the Inspiration Line, he had never read a SARK book, so he didn’t know me in that way. I appreciated that there weren’t projections about me as “SARK” and that he took the time to really experience who I am in my private life.
I’m sharing this now because I feel safe and ready, and so that others can feel inspired by my real life love story! I’m so glad to share about alternative forms of relating and being in love relationships- whatever form they take.
Right after I began connecting with David, my beyond the physical fiancé John exclaimed immediately in my ear,
“I LOVE David!!!” And keeps exclaiming.
After my full summer of mentoring and leading retreats, David and I decided to physically meet for the first time at his lake home in Massachusetts on Sep 2.
We decided to give ourselves time alone, in a setting that supported our health and well being as well as our creativity. We wanted to give ourselves the best opportunity to thrive as lovers, artists, creators, healers, and friends.
We also decided that this first date would be like a spiritual honeymoon, and to just skip the wedding and go straight to the honeymoon. We’ve also decided as much as possible, to have an “all honeymoon” relationship. What this means to us, is that we are committed to loving as much as possible, no matter what form that love takes. We did decide to begin as monogamously romantic love partners. And so, I arranged a 2 week vacation from all of my work and flew to Boston to meet David in person for the first time on Sun/2 of September.
Stay tuned for part 2 of my real life love story and what actually happened when we met for our spiritual honeymoon- I’ll share soon;-)
Here’s an excerpt of what I initially posted about inviting you to vicariously travel along:
Here I am in one of my favorite spots in San Francisco, popping in with a happy halo + goodbye to you.
I’m about to be away for several weeks on an adventurous vacation and I’m inviting you to vicariously travel along, if you’re willing to not know where you’re going;-)
I’ll be sharing later about my adventures, and let you know where we went!
So, for everyone who read that post and responded so enthusiastically, thank you for all your love – and now you know how adventurous this trip really was!
And for each person reading this now, I invite you to consider dating the world and opening your life more and more to the magic of love.
Because loving is the whole point.