This photo is from a tiny party I had in July 2018, before David moved in and before the world of ourselves changed.
Thank you dear Andrea for standing on the couch to take the photograph.
Thank you from left to right: Virginia, Yofe,
moi, Val, Eric, Vanda, Monica.
When I saw it, it made me realize that I miss sitting close- leaning, squeezing, hugging, singing, laughing, crying close together with people that I like + love.
Maybe you do too?
Since I’ve been teaching on video calls since 2010, a certain kind of visual closeness is familiar to me- and I’m so gratefull to technology for being able to gather closely in that way.
But I miss sitting close.
I’m writing about this to be close in another kind of way- to closely share my intimate experience with you helps me to feel closer to you, and myself.
There are lots of other things I miss, and some I don’t.
I don’t miss pressuring myself to “be social,” when I don’t feel like it. As much as I am usually clear and direct about what I want, I sometimes “do things” or go places out of fear, obligation or guilt.
Can you relate?
Years ago, I figured out that that spells
FOG:-) and I now adjust my activities accordingly. It feels like quarantine supports me in practicing with that, and instead of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) I am much more able to practice JOMO
(Joy Of Missing Out.)
What do you miss?
What don’t you?
What are you practicing?
Love,
SARK
p.s. if you miss listening to something real and nourishing, call me on my Inspiration Line 415 546 3742 and say hi. I’ll love to hear your voice. Or, you can simply listen and hang up- I’ll appreciate that too.
If you know of someone who would enJOY my Magic Blog, go here!
Miss: good manners, common sense, humor.
Don’t miss: “social” obligations (other’s ongoing “wants”)
Practicing: finding a “resting spot” for just a moment.
Using better manners (“social lubrication”) as we did in kindergarten.
Not looking too far ahead, but being prepared for the next day/week.
Making my own “back up,” counting on just myself and learning how to make it work.
Being better at self-reliance but also not over-lending a hand when asked- not canceling out that person’s needed lesson/head homework.
Using this time as opportunity for growth (big or small) in several areas.
Watching my media intake (online, radio, newspaper, etc), limiting it.
Understanding: And this too shall pass.
I forgot an important useful item:
For Practicing: finding a “resting spot” for just a moment….
I use my Meaning To Pause bracelet, from your Bay Area, in Calif.
Author Sebastian Junger, who wrote the landmark book The Perfect Storm, also embedded with the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. He went on to write a book titled, “Tribes.” In that book, he discussed how there is a basic, biological, human need to be physically near other people. When that togetherness is removed, humans experience sadness, grief and even PTSD. I think about his concepts frequently as we hibernate during the quarantine times. It helps to explain many of the episodes of sadness we hear about from our loved ones. Yes, I miss the experience of hugging my friends, and even of shaking a stranger’s hand! We are all now going through a phase of grieving for our old lives. I hold out hope that we will emerge stronger and more kind to each other.