Happy Fabulous February! My beloved David and I have been together 20 months now- yes we’re still counting months;-)
My goddaughter Vanessa remarked that one of her favorite things I’ve written about our relationship is something I named the “sponge differential”.
Early on, I discovered David’s and my differing sponge habits.
One of us doesn’t wring the sponge out or put it back in the same spot, the other of us has a little “bed” that the sponge lies down in, having been wrung out.
This resulted in various moments of mild frustration. So, we created a joyfull solution and got 2 sponges!
Of course, this is a tiny and truly inconsequential difference- and yet it can be one of those daily annoyances that builds over time and can highlight other habits or preferences that one wishes to change about oneself or another.
And since the only person you can ever change is yourself, we practice love translations– where you see your partner- and everyone else- with eyes of love, instead of critical eyes. Practice is the operative word here.
It’s simple and it works to keep the love flowing. It isn’t always easy to practice.
How do you experience differences in your loving relationships? What practices do you utilize? I’ll love to hear.
Once we got 2 sponges and the annoyance was solved, guess what?
We started using the same sponge!
We’re now a one sponge family. And sometimes it’s wrung out, sometimes not, and it lives all over the place. Solving this tiny difference allowed us to solve and change other things too, and we are practicing consistently.
Here are some of our other favorite ways of practicing seeing with eyes of love:
•Add the words “just like me” at the end of every criticizing sentence you proclaim about your partner, friend or someone else. It works remarkably well to draw your attention back to the primary source of change, which, of course, is YOU.
•Practice sharing your “micro truths”– those tiny upsetting things you would really rather not say- it will result in your feeling closer and more emotionally available and loving to yourself and others.
•Play and experiment with creating “joyfull solutions” which go beyond compromise, and create a way for both people to get what they want and feel loving while they do!
I wrote a book with my fiancé Dr. John Waddell (who transitioned to the non-physical in 2016) called Succulent Wild Love: Six Powerful Habits For Feeling More Love More Often
These concepts and others are lovingly detailed and described in the book.
You can get it in paperback HERE
Or you can get it in digital HERE
Our eyes of love, of course, originate in the heart, as Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, author of the Little Prince wrote:
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye”