Some time after my beloved fiancé John died in March 2016, I had started resuming somewhat “normal activities” and was at my local UPS store picking up and shipping packages.
During this time, I was astonished that the world kept turning after he died– I didn’t see then how my life could or would really go on.
The UPS worker who had seen me through the seemingly endless days when John was so ill, was there as I turned in some packages to be shipped.
She put her hand on mine and said with so much love in her eyes,
“I know how sad you are, and I want to remind you that now you get to create an entirely new life!”
It shocked me that she said this.
And it stayed with me, because I didn’t want to create a new life- I wanted the one that I had with John back again! Didn’t she know that? Of course I appreciated that she cared, and I had a feeling that there was an important message for me in what she said.
Then I remembered one of the last things John said to me before he died, when I asked how I could possibly go on without him.
“Susan, you get happy. Happier than you’ve ever been. And when love comes again, you go full speed ahead.”
And when I reflected again on that, I realized that he had meant love with a new person and, he had also meant LOVE IN GENERAL.
So I wrote something called “I’m Dating the World,” and so many of you responded, and said you lived, or wanted to live like that too.
That writing led me to my beloved David, and I did also get happier than I’d ever been, and sadder too. They both blended together into what I call Deeply Grieving and Wildly Living, which is the book I’m currently writing and teaching from.
One of my many intentions is to let pleasure be primary. This means doing and being more of what I love– no matter what, as often as possible. How are you doing or creating pleasure? Is it primary in your life? Why or why not?
Here’s what I wrote that drew David in:
I’m Dating the World
Double the magic!
I know now that my focus on letting pleasure be primary was no diminishment to my love for and with John. It’s a tribute to the love we shared when he was physically present, and now continues into infinity.
I wish more pleasure for you in every way, and that your love for life bubbles up and spills over into every possible place.
Joyfully, pleasurably, delightfully,