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3 Lessons Learned (and relearned-so far) From My Wake Up Fall

I recently fell and broke my ankle, and am learning a lot from the experience. If you didn’t see that post, you can read it here. 

This photo is of me using the iwalkfree 2.0 device, that allows for hands free walking- which feels miraculous. I’m using it in addition to crutches and a knee scooter. I’m sharing resources here that I find of value, for the sole purpose of sharing information. Of course, take only what resonates with you. 

I asked for your reflections about what I describe as a Wake Up Fall- thank you to all who shared so generously- there is so much wisdom in our collective. Thank you also to those who expressed sympathy, practical solutions and good humor- I truly appreciate it. 

I also appreciate learning to receive exquisite loving care and such kind attention from my beloved David. He is helping me expand my capacities to receive more love. It’s challenging at times to receive the care and help, and I’m learning and practicing at quantum speed. 

And for anyone else mending a broken bone (or anything else) I send you my love and healing energies. Here’s what I’ve learned (and relearned) so far. These lessons apply to a wide range of human experiences- not only about having a broken bone. 

There are so many gifts and blessings in this experience, and so many kinds of feelings to feel, blend and alchemize. It is tempting for me to try to rush past the challenging feelings, feel “better” and “be up and around” again. And of course those conditions are important and wanted- and, there are deeper lessons to be experienced and practiced with. 

Lesson #1 applies to my experiences with pain. One late night, I woke up in considerable pain. It was about an 8 on a pain scale of 1-10. I had already used ice and anti inflammatory things, as well as homeopathic Arnica, and the pain felt like it was raging. I felt myself in despair and terror over it, and spiraled into a very dark place. 

I’d heard about this app called Curable from my friend Amy, and grabbed my phone to download it. I started with their free demonstration, and within 20 minutes, the pain I was experiencing had decreased from an 8 to a 4- and stayed there. This definitely captured my attention. 

I had known before that all pain is in the brain- I just didn’t understand the mechanism of how my brain was working. I’ve now joined Curable and started working to retrain my brain about pain, and it’s amazing how much I’ve learned in just 2 weeks. Curablehealth.com is an outstanding resource, and I highly recommend it. Their tagline says “the app for chronic pain” and I would add that it’s also really good for acute pain. 

Thankfully I work from home, and my work of mentoring, writing and creating can be done while horizontal- and while I’m retraining my brain. I think this app can be used anywhere by anyone, wanting to create a new paradigm for themselves about pain. 

Lesson #2 is one I’m relearning, and it is that suffering always lies in the comparison. When I compared how my life WAS, before the fall, I counted all the things I can’t do with a broken ankle- and I assembled a big list of losses and frustrations. So then there was pain, compounded by suffering. In order to shift this, I’ve learned to practice with knowing and naming what I CAN do, rather than what I can’t.

Let me know if you’ve alchemized pain or difficulties, or how you think about or experience challenges- I’ll love to know. 

Since suffering always lies in the comparison, I’ve learned to stay in the present moment and collect ideas of what can be done, rather than what can’t. This alleviates suffering. 

One of the biggest losses for me has been my daily 4 mile beach walk- it is for my mental as well as my physical health. 

I have now invented various exercise routines that I can do with my broken ankle. There are good YouTube videos for this too, by the way. 

I have also created a crawling to music program- where I put on kneepads and gloves and crawl rapidly all through our apartment for 20-30 minutes- it raises my heart rate and serotonin levels, and it’s FUN. And I’m also doing yoga and stretching while in bed. 

I am reminding myself all-ways to stay and play in the present, rather than suffer in the future or past. Of course it all requires practice- which is an art more than a science, and calls for flexibility, presence and patience. 

Lesson #3 is one I’m learning and relearning and practicing with every day. 

It is that ALL FEELINGS MUST BE FELT

I didn’t want to feel upset, angry or frustrated about this experience, and I did. Feelings just want our love and attention, and they don’t need much. I often still try to avoid, deny or repress my challenging feelings, hoping they will just go away. I’ve learned that they not only don’t go away, they get louder and larger. 

If you’ve read me for awhile, or are in my Succulent Wild World membership or Magical Mentoring program, you know that I teach about the value of having an Inner Feelings Care System- to care and tend to all the feelings in your emotional family skillfully, with love

We can all do this every day, like brushing our teeth or taking vitamins. I teach various methods for this and the 5 second method is a good place to start. 

As soon as you’re aware of a “negative” or challenging feeling, say it’s name out loud or under your breath. For example, you might be aware of feelings of anger. 

Simply say out loud or inside your head: 

“Anger, I see you, I hear you, I acknowledge you.” 

This allows feelings of anger to soften and change shape. The immediate effect in your life will be that you feel differently- perhaps a more spacious feeling. Anger will return later of course, and it will have shifted and changed with your care and attention. This sets up a care system internally so that you have a way to manage and experience your feelings differently. 

Here’s to us all feeling our feelings more often, and sharing our experiences! Let me know how you are learning or growing in any of these realms- I will love to know. 

Love,

SARK

 

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8 Comments

  1. Kay Ross

    Thank you for those brilliant and helpful suggestions! Nearly three months ago I fell and broke my right kneecap, and was immediately taken to hospital. Two days later I had surgery to wire up the bone, and had to use a custom-fitted leg brace from ankle to thigh, and a cane, for about eight weeks (I’m glad I didn’t need to use crutches). As soon as I fell, I realised it was an invitation to surrender, accept what is, rest, ask for help, and be willing to receive help. My knee still isn’t bending as much as it normally would, so I have to walk very slowly. I’ve been having physiotherapy and am doing stretching exercises and massage at home. I’ve been feeling sad, angry, impatient and frustrated, and am reminding myself to stay present. I love the idea of acknowledging to those emotions and listening to what they want to say. My limited mobility is affecting my work and income so I worry about that (like you, SARK, I’m self-employed, and part of my business involves doing writing/editing work at home).

    Reply
  2. Cheryl A. Lowitzer

    Ahhhh, the Inner Feelings Care System showed up today right on time for me. Up until now, it’s been challenging to soften & allow myself to feel the “bad” or “negative” feelings. Your writing today supports me in remembering that ALL my emotions = Energy in Motion. Sending bright blessings from Boulder, CO.

    Reply
  3. Carol

    I hurt my shoulder from a Wild Lyft ride and physical therapy made it worse. It’s called a frozen shoulder. Since September I have been healing. Wowee such a lesson in patience. And being able to change plans and trusting! Doing a lot less has been good in a way. Nature is most appreciated! Asking for help from my husband has been difficult at times even though he is willing. So a couple of times I overdid it.
    CBD cream is helping some. Mostly with relaxing.
    I send you my highest vision of you in your glorious radiant beingness.
    Love and Gratitude for sharing yourself❤️

    Reply
  4. Cassie Lege’

    SARK, Have you read Danielle Steel’s newest book called Lost and Found? The main character falls off a ladder and breaks her ankle which leads her onto a path of rediscovery in her life at age 58. What she is going through reminds me of all that you have been writing about your recent ankle accident. You might want to give it a read. Enjoy! Cassie

    Reply
  5. JT

    Eckhart Tolle and Tara Brach Youtube videos can work wonders on accepting feelings and thoughts without identifying with them. As a wise soul said, invite the feeling in for tea. Just listen to what it needs to say, and let it pass through. Thoughts and feelings aren’t good or bad, or truths, but just a normal part of the human experience. This acceptance can work wonders.

    Reply
  6. Ani Bell

    The thing I’ve learned from my own Glory Day Accident (I used to call it that GD accident, til I made peace with all the pain & suffering it brought into my life & began to think of it as GLORY DAY) is that I used to work really hard at being positive or feeling ‘better’ or reaching for a lighter thought, etc. Now? I wake up & however I feel is how I feel, & I don’t twist & turn to try to get out of it. If I’m sad when I wake up, I’m sad until sadness has had its way with me. If I’m angry or scared, the same. Letting go of trying to feel better has actually finally helped me to authentically release/heal a LOT of the heavy emotions I’d been unwittingly carrying around (after having stuffed them for years trying to be ‘positive’). Now, when I’m inspired & uplifted & joyful, it’s 100% REAL — & there’s not a lot of heavy burdens I’m trying to handle at the same time. My GD Accident gave me that! And I’m forever grateful. AB

    Reply
  7. Andrew Kennedy

    I have the best sister! She not only did not blame me for my dog breaking her ankle, she sends me phone messages of love and support that I hear and receive with gratitude.

    Reply
  8. Shavonda Jeske

    I really love your site.. Great colors & theme. Did you build this website yourself? Please reply back as I’m trying to create my very own site and would love to learn where you got this from or exactly what the theme is named. Appreciate it!

    Reply

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