Dear Liberated Soul,
Amazing things are always growing beneath the surface, and I forget that all the time.
I have been reminded of this lately by these tiny purple flowers peeking out of a cement crack near where we often park our car.
I see these flowers and smile with the recognition that benevolent, wonderfull, sweet, unexpected nourishments are always growing and that I can expand my capacity to see them.
I can focus on the expansions at least as often as I focus on the contractions, and learn to navigate between the two, and not feel completely crushed by inner critics when I’m in a contraction period, and not turn away too soon, or fear it disappearing, when I feel and experience those expansive times.
It’s a living art to practice in these ways- to live in the sometimes marvelous, sometimes messy, middle of life.
Here are a few ways I practice:
- I utilize various forms of energy medicine, EFT, free form yoga, what my friend Edward and I call “Transformational TV” viewing, and lying down in the grass.
- Sometimes I just lie quietly breathing.
- Or following my flowing energy and allowing the world to provide miracles and constant reminders of our abilities to feel, to love, to be alive in my cells.
How do you navigate between contraction and expansion in your life and care for yourself in both? Please share with me here.
I’d love to read & respond to what you share.
With both wings of expansion & contraction operating like birds wings,
SARK (aka Susanly*)
*my friend Leslie recently wrote this when I asked for her support about something I was creating. She said “Do it in a SUSANLY way.”
What’s YOUR unique way? I want to know.
Dear Intrepid Soul,
In my last Adventure Post, I explained that I ask my Inner Wise Self for guidance and direction about every area of my life and you can too. You can read Part 1 here.
So now, what do you want to ask for?
Any subject, small or large, will do.
You can simply think of something that you’d like to receive in your life, and ask your Inner Wise Self for guidance. You can do this verbally or in writing.
If asking verbally, you can say out loud things like,
“Inner Wise Self, (or whatever name appeals to you) what can you tell me now about _____?”
“What would be good for me to do or know about _____?”
“How can I create more ____?”
“How can I let go of ______?”
If you’re asking in writing, just write fill-in-the-blank sentences like these, or just write a note to this part of yourself about what will be good for you to know.
If you’re just getting started with the Art of Asking & Receiving like this, remember that your Inner Wise Self is exquisitely customized for you and might communicate very simply or in greater detail.
Also, if you ever receive any communications after asking that are less than loving, this is probably an inner critic- just begin again and ask again. Your Inner Wise Self is ONLY loving.
If you feel moved, let me know what you’ll be asking for, and what answers you receive. I’d love to know.
SARK (aka Sparkly Acrobat Rises Keenly)
Dear Exceptional Soul,
What does it mean to you to ASK?
Do you easily ask others for help, assistance, favors, opinions, guidance?
If not, why not? If so, what empowers you to do so?
I believe that asking is an art to be practiced, and that asking other people calls on our trust, vulnerability and abilities to receive- which is also an art to practice.
As you may know, I like acronyms and I think ASK could stand for:
I find myself sometimes feeling shy to ask other people for help- especially if I assess I could “do it myself.”
Like many people, I was raised to “be independent” and not overly rely on others.
Over the years, I’ve learned that others are eager to be asked and often have a wealth of information, energy, insights and wisdom. Yet sometimes I still feel shy about asking other people.
There’s one place I’m not shy at all about asking, and I call it my Inner Wise Self, and EVERYbody has access to this part of themselves inside.
I’ve learned that my Inner Wise Self inside is ALWAYS ready to be asked about anything, and delivers exceptional wisdom that I can really use.
Most people are aware of this part of themselves inside, and I’ve discovered that most people don’t ASK for anything.
When I guide people in asking, they are amazed at what’s inside of them, and how much power and wisdom they have access to. Yet people tell me things like,
- “I keep forgetting to ask”
- “I didn’t know I could ask about THAT”
- “I thought I might have used it all up that first time I asked”
Your Inner Wise Self inside is LIMITLESS and made of unconditional love. It has endless answers for you, about every conceivable subject, and it knows you more intimately than anyone.
And the more you ask, the stronger your connection will be, and the more opportunities there will be for you to receive.
Part 2 will be about actually asking.
SARK (aka Sweetly Asking Receives Kindness)
Dear Luminous Creator of Wonder,
I created this post in response to the question “How do I let go of something I know I need to let go of?”
You can read part 1 here.
So to continue our inquiry about this subject, I would continue asking:
What part of me thinks I “need to” let go?
Usually that’s the part that perceives pain, or fears the perceived loss involved with letting go of something or someone.
See if you can have a little conversation with that part of yourself.
Explore your feelings by asking yourself what hurts about holding on.
Then you can respond to some fill in the blank questions about a particular situation in your life that you’d like to shift.
If I let go of _____, I’m likely to receive ______.
If I don’t let go of this, I’m likely to receive________.
I’m willing to _______.
I’m not willing to _______.
Letting go of this will mean____.
Holding on to it will mean _______.
I’m mostly inspired by some varieties of love or fear, and doing some inner inquiry most often results in knowing myself even better, and spending more time in feeling love than fear.
What’s your experience with letting go and holding on?
I love this quote by Anne Morrow Lindbergh, who wrote A Gift From the Sea, “Is there anything as horrible as starting on a trip? Once you’re off, that’s all right, but the last moments are earthquake and convulsion, and the feeling that you are a snail being pulled off your rock.”
Sometimes I feel like the snail, sometimes I feel like I’m soaring. Most often I’m in what I call the marvelous messy middle. You?
You’re so welcome to leave me a note here or call me on the Inspiration line at 415-546-3742. (This is my free phone line I started 20 years ago to share inspiration. It’s one of my favorite things in life.)
SARK (aka Splendid Arc Radiating Kindness)
Dear Soul in Motion,
I was recently asked this question on my Inspiration phone line,
“How do I let go of a situation that I know I need to let go of?”
I’ve wondered the same thing and have pondered about the subject of letting go throughout my life. And of course there are different types of letting go.
If the opposite of letting go is holding on, I have more experience with that- or at least am more comfortable holding on than letting go.
Let’s explore some more.
Some things that I tend to let go of easily are:
Clutter, certain kinds of old beliefs, chewed gum that has lost its flavor, road trip snack wrappers, repetitive negativity, old newspapers.
Some things that I tend to not let go of, even though I know they don’t feel good are:
Certain kinds of grudges, worrisome thoughts where I feel out of control, making snap judgments, attempting to blame others, and impatience in general.
Some things I love holding onto are:
Positive expectations, good books, memories that please me, love in all of its forms, including people and animals, and the beauty of nature.
What do I think it means to let go?
If something hurts, I tend to let go of it. However, sometimes I get caught when I know it “would be better” to let go of it, and just can’t for some reason, or don’t want to.
This also sometimes occurs with certain varieties of sugar.
So to respond to the question, “How do I let go of a situation that I know I need to let go of?”
I would first ask why.
-Why do I think I need to let go of this?
And I would ask;
-What do I think that letting go of this will give me?
-What will likely happen if I don’t let go?
Do you have anything in your life that you’d like to let go of or feel that you need to? Leave me a comment, I’ll be so happy to read it.
I’ll be back soon with part 2 of The Art of Letting Go and some focusing questions for you. See, I couldn’t let go of this subject!;-))
SARK (aka Sweet Advisor Reminding Kindly)
When I published Succulent Wild Woman in 1997, all the men came out for that book. I had added a line on the back that said; “Men are welcome in the land of Succulent Wild Women.”
And they really were.
The men were peering around the bookshelves and raising their hands at my boisterous book events.
I created my next book with them in mind, and titled it;
The Bodacious Book of Succulence. I profiled all the Succulent Wild Men I already knew and called for more.
As I contemplated having a romantic relationship with another person, I wondered if it would be with a man. I already had my Succulent Wild Cat “fur husband” Jupiter, and had married myself, and I questioned whether there was a man who could be a match for me.
I hadn’t met any men doing deep transformative, psychological work with themselves. Deep down, I knew there must be some, but I hadn’t yet met any…I think I had carefully not found any so I wouldn’t get hurt by one.
During 2009, I sat for a year in a “conscious singles wisdom circle.” In that group, I witnessed truly succulent men, delving deeply into their emotions and spirits.
From there, I knew they existed – and I knew that I was ready to explore the possibility of a relationship with a Succulent Wild Man, whether I might get hurt or not.
To me, a Succulent Wild Man is self loving and full from the inside, able to navigate the masculine and feminine, committed to emotional growth and willing to love and be loved.
It would be wonderful if we had similar world views, and he was successful in his own realm, eccentric or creative, and able to respect my autonomy.
When I met John in 2012, he had all these characteristics *and more*. I knew that I had located a Succulent Wild Man.
The fact that he brought me brand new principles for relationships and is a gifted teacher, writer, partner, lover, playmate and person, is BEYOND any succulent thing I ever imagined.
You can have this kind of succulence too – I know that it comes from practicing specific principles, and John and I are teaching those principles in our new program that starts on Thursday. You can find out more HERE.
Most importantly, know that Succulent Wild Men do exist – and so do Succulent Wild Relationships. I’m living proof.
As I’m about to teach one of my favorites courses of all time – Write It NEW with SARK (aka WINS), it feels good to know that GAIN is in that word, because I’m also feeling some loss about it.
This is the last time that I’ll be teaching WINS live.
I ADORE witnessing and facilitating people in big changes in their lives. Changes that come from writing a new life story, with the help of their Inner Wise Selves.
That’s what I did, and continue to do with my life – write the life I want, with the help of my Inner Wise Self. In the last year alone, I’ve:
- Created an intimate, romantic partnership with a lover who has transcended anything else I’ve experienced.
- Shifted my business to greater stability and prosperity so that I can continue to produce and create services that support empowered living.
- Supported hundreds of inspired and inspiring souls to create their lives and their new stories
That’s what happens within WINS – people are creating and completing books, life visions, self-love programs, new ways of BEing, business ideas, blogs, paintings, poetry, songs, and more – all as their new life story.
And that’s why this is the last time that I’ll teach WINS live – to make room for a new vision that I’ve had and am bringing out in 2014!
Since it’s not time yet for me to invite you to my new vision, I want to invite you to GAIN with me as we wrap up the magic that has been WINS for the last 2+ years.
The community that’s been created is astonishingly rich, and I’m so excited to gather there and create together in the next 3 months.
The momentum is giant, our hearts are FULL, and we begin again on Thursday, Sept.12th.
I invite you join me and the entire community here, and see what NEW wants to come from you!
It reminds me that when I create something new, I knew it before it happened.
Now I see that in addition to gain being inside of the word again, I see that the word new is within the word knew!
These 2 words feel like a great recipe for movement and change.
How about you? What new are you creating?
I want to deeply thank everyone who responded in writing or sent loving energies to me about my experiences about the death of my older brother. I wrote about it here.
My godchild Jonah graduated from third grade last week, and I took this photo of a little fish on the wall at his school.
It reminded me of that wonderfull Rumi poem;
I am so small I can barely be seen.
How can this great love be inside me?
Look at your eyes. They are small,
But they see enormous things.
This tiny fish is so small, but moved my heart in big ways.
We have these opportunities to love, to lose, to find again.
To discover in ourselves parts of our hearts that may have seemed lost or were merely hiding for a time.
To know our love as immense and like a mountain.
To feel and be small and in our vulnerabilities, feel utter safety.
- What big loves live inside of you?
- How and where do you feel small and do you allow it?
- Where do you see and where do you close your eyes from seeing?
I am welcoming my mysteries, my depths, my shallows and my sees/seas
There is so much to explore, experience and discover! My appetites have grown both larger and more discerning.
Share some part of your heart here, if you wish, I will appreciate it and you.
My older brother Roger died on May 1st.
I’m grieving for the physical loss of my brother who was my best friend and hero for my first 7 years.
I’m grieving for the loss of a loving relationship with that same brother who was abused as a child and then abused me.
I’m grieving for all the complex, unknowable reasons why our family experienced those traumas.
I am so glad that Roger lived and had a beautifull daughter, and that I am close to her.
I’m beyond glad for my younger brother Andrew, who arrived like a love beam when I was 11.
I am glad for the transformative “gifts of death” that have already been arriving since Rogers death.
Some of these gifts come in the form of flowers, which live and die within our sight, and remind me of grieving, which arrives and subsides beyond our knowing.
I go where the grief leads me, and even though the route is often inconvenient and dark, I know that the roots of grieving produce things of beauty- like flowers.
And I now know that grieving leads to and from gladness.
It is not separate- it is woven.
That weaving is my place to practice living in the “marvelous messy middle,” with all of my feelings.
My beloved partner John witnesses and loves me as I practice, and gives me the many gifts of vulnerabilities, strengths and love shared.
I’m so glad I can grieve and continue to grow and bloom, and one day die, like the beautifull flowers do.
I found this message written on a wall on one of my hikes recently.
It reminded me of course, to enjoy where I was at.
It also delighted me that people write things like this.
The whole world occurs to me like a living book, with people creating on its surfaces everywhere.
We are invited to participate all the time.
Sometimes the messages are less appealing- we can still choose to enjoy where we’re at.
I get crabby and impatient often- the other day I was at a food bar waiting to get some food, behind a young man with headphones in his ears, moving microscopically slow as he dished up his food- the food that I wanted to quickly get.
I had urges to push him aside and definitely was NOT enjoying where I was at.
Then I remembered this sign, and refocused on a laughing baby in the store, and realized that it was my choice about what to enjoy- or not.
What are you enjoying choosing?