Resting Is Productive

Resting Is Productive

Many times I become so sure that “doing something” is the best plan.

It seems so important to DO.

And of course there are so many things that must be done, and that are good to do. Then there is overdoing, which I have excelled at.

We even name our lists “to do” lists.

My beloved David creates “to be” lists and looks at the end of the day to see if he has been able to BE what he envisioned.

Here’s one of his lists from the other day:

Loving
Kind
Flexible
Generative
Supportive
Willing
Committed

Sometimes he checks with me to see if I want to give examples of how he was able to be any of his list items.

Almost always, I’m able to easily point to ways he was able to be what he’d envisioned, and add others.

When we can be who and what we’d like, I find that the doing becomes easier.

I think it allows the doing part of the brain to rest, and we can stop trying to be who we really are by doing, and inhabit who we really want to BE.

Which likely involves more rest.

To the doing part of us, rest is wastefull, unnecessary or even lazy.

Or, we just really don’t have time.

The being part of us revels in and relishes rest.

And of course we need the do-er and the be-er active in ourselves to live in this world- the questions are, how much are you mindfully engaging in both? Or not?

Fresh thoughts move us in new directions- how are your thoughts fresh or not? I’m frequently uncovering stale thoughts and switching to fresher ones.

Rest More Often

I know- it’s hard to rest when there’s so much to do. There’s no time to rest and resting is a waste of time or only for when you’re ill or injured.

Rest Anyway

If you’re busy or stressed or doing lots of things, the counter balance is rest

Rest Smaller

Tiny or micronaps have a big benefit

Rest in the Midst of Doing 

Do less, be more

Know that your Resting Contributes to

Fresh thoughts
Happier spirits
More productive doing
Ability to love
A peacefull soul

Sometimes we just need permission to rest or nap.

This is your permission.

Love,

SARK


p.s. All my resting and napping has produced the most wonderfull opportunity and you are invited! I’ll be the keynote and teaching at
The Gathering of the Creatives conference this September 4-6 with Julia Cameron, Flora Bowley, Jacob Nordby, and so many other terrific teachers- you can see them all HERE.  Super earliest bird pricing is available through Sun/1st March. This is my one live in-person workshop of 2020! 

Then, even more loving, lounging and creating~

Happy Valentine’s LIFE

Happy Valentine’s LIFE

Everyone passes the love test.

Since we are all perfectly imperfect, we are all lovers in that sense.

We are all always making LOTS of mistakes, and it helps to keep surprise close at hand, as well as self-compassion. 

I so appreciate this lovely soul for tattooing these words.

And here for Valentine’s Day, we are reminded to love- not only in the way of lovers- in the way of loving it ALL as much as we can. Yes, all of it.

Even when it’s excruciating.
Even when it’s boring.
Even when it’s inconvenient
Which it usually is.

This part of a poem by Rumi reminds us that we are all one;

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about”

Rumi

And when we contemplate being all one, we cry out, “But not them! Or him! Or her! Or certainly not that! Or DEFINITELY not that!!!!

Love flows through it all, no matter what.

I invite us all to have far more than a Valentines Day.

Have a Valentine’s LIFE

Where your soul is known and you choose love more often than fear. Where you do the deep and necessary psychological excavations and repairs. Where you cry as often as laughing and there’s no distinction. Where you choose peace over trying to be right. Where you rise up and act for what’s right. Where you lie down frequently and rest guiltlessly. Where you love wildly with all your faucets turned on.

Where you realize that you are here as much to feel as you are to heal, and that life keeps moving forward as love does.

How are you, or can you be loving in this moment? Let me know~

For your Valentine’s Life, practice with these:

Consider yourself a lover of this world and act that way 

Make yourself available to be loved and loving by seeing with your eyes of love- especially if and when it doesn’t look like what you think love looks like. Find more places where you can offer love and expand on those. Repeat.

When you feel fear, feel it 

It sounds so obvious, and yet many of us resist feeling fear when it comes. We will do almost anything to avoid or escape it.

Just 1 second of feeling it will shift that. Simply say out loud or to yourself, “Fear, I see you, I hear you, I acknowledge you.”

This will allow fear to soften and change shape, and then know that you are there with it- that changes everything. Use this formula to fully feel all your feelings.

Stay Loose and Rest More 

There is so much to do, solve, repair and overcome in this world and in our lives.

Staying loose will allow any rigidity to soften and new solutions to flow in.

Resting more often will shelter your soul until you arise again, to do the work and feel the feelings and dare again to love in the midst of it all.

Here’s to us all in our Valentine’s Lives, even when it doesn’t feel that way at all.

Our collective hearts are mighty beyond measure, and love just keeps multiplying beyond anything unlike itself.

Let me know where and how your love is flowing~

Love,

SARK

Love Moves When You Do

Love Moves When You Do

 

I’ve been practicing self hugging for some years now.

When I first began, I felt kind of foolish and even self-indulgent. I did it in private and it felt so good it quickly grew to my doing it everywhere and anywhere.

Then I began sharing it with clients, audiences and friends.

I’ve learned that many people do not practice self hugging- I think they fear looking foolish, or think that it won’t really work for them, or they just forget about doing it.

I’m here to re-MIND you!

Self hugging raises up all the “feel good” hormones: endorphins, oxytocin, and serotonin.

I’ve found out that most people don’t self hug long enough for it to feel really good and have those good effects. Or, they don’t really wrap themselves UP. 

I recommend 30 seconds minimum and up to 1-2 minutes for optimum effect.

I start most days with self hugging, and get out of bed feeling like 10 good friends have hugged me. In this way, I often am able to live like a full cup of self-love, sharing my overflow with the world

And when I don’t feel that way, self hugging helps me fill myself back up.

Do you practice self hugging? Why or why not? I’ll love to know your experience.

More great self hugging moments to experience:

•Kiss your arms & shoulders & say terms of endearments while using your name repeatedly & feel your serotonin levels MULTIPLY

•Self hug while rocking back & forth & saying comforting words over and over like “I’m right
here, I’m right here” and feel the embodiment of your Inner Wise Self in
ACTION

•Repeat self hugging daily or most days & feel your endorphins EXPANDING

We are made for love and loving, and can self hug right now and connect ourselves with those loving feelings and generate even more LOVE.

Love,

SARK

Practicing Seeing with Eyes of Love Through the Heart

Practicing Seeing with Eyes of Love Through the Heart

Happy Fabulous February! My beloved David and I have been together 20 months now- yes we’re still counting months;-)

My goddaughter Vanessa remarked that one of her favorite things I’ve written about our relationship is something I named the “sponge differential”.

Early on, I discovered David’s and my differing sponge habits.

One of us doesn’t wring the sponge out or put it back in the same spot, the other of us has a little “bed” that the sponge lies down in, having been wrung out.

This resulted in various moments of mild frustration. So, we created a joyfull solution and got 2 sponges!

Of course, this is a tiny and truly inconsequential difference- and yet it can be one of those daily annoyances that builds over time and can highlight other habits or preferences that one wishes to change about oneself or another.

And since the only person you can ever change is yourself, we practice love translations– where you see your partner- and everyone else- with eyes of love, instead of critical eyes. Practice is the operative word here.

It’s simple and it works to keep the love flowing. It isn’t always easy to practice.

How do you experience differences in your loving relationships? What practices do you utilize? I’ll love to hear.

Once we got 2 sponges and the annoyance was solved, guess what?

We started using the same sponge!

We’re now a one sponge family. And sometimes it’s wrung out, sometimes not, and it lives all over the place. Solving this tiny difference allowed us to solve and change other things too, and we are practicing consistently.

Here are some of our other favorite ways of practicing seeing with eyes of love:

Add the words “just like me” at the end of every criticizing sentence you proclaim about your partner, friend or someone else. It works remarkably well to draw your attention back to the primary source of change, which, of course, is YOU.

Practice sharing your “micro truths”– those tiny upsetting things you would really rather not say- it will result in your feeling closer and more emotionally available and loving to yourself and others.

Play and experiment with creating “joyfull solutions” which go beyond compromise, and create a way for both people to get what they want and feel loving while they do!

I wrote a book with my fiancé Dr. John Waddell (who transitioned to the non-physical in 2016) called Succulent Wild Love: Six Powerful Habits For Feeling More Love More Often

These concepts and others are lovingly detailed and described in the book.

You can get it in paperback HERE

Or you can get it in digital HERE

 

Our eyes of love, of course, originate in the heart, as Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, author of the Little Prince wrote:

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye”

 Love,

SARK

Books, Books, and More Books!

Books, Books, and More Books!

You might know that I read- a LOT.

It all started in one of my parents laps, and in first grade when my teacher dared me to read a book a day for a year and I did.

It continued in the library and the bookmobile (the first kind of mobile word magic) and in every kind of nook, corner and bed I could lie down in.

I kept it up on trains, planes and even sometimes in cars until I felt wobbly dizzy.

I read books while I lived inside the bookshelves at Shakespeare & Company bookstore in Paris, behind a purple velvet curtain.

Books are my best (not human) friends.

Then of course I write and publish books too. I’ve published 18, have created several that are in various stages, and have sketched out ideas for the next 50.

I’m doing more loving and living than book writing these days, and it feels good. If slow is the new fast, then I’m as fast as ever.

I’ve been slowly writing a new book in between naps- thank you to everyone who has asked! I’m envisioning a really new kind of way to share my new book, and you’ll be hearing more about that.

Do you love books? What are you reading? Let me know- I’m curious.
Also, do you like reading ebooks or actual? Or a mixture? Do you like listening to books?

Ah, it’s difficult to pick just 3!
I’ll say 3 for just right now.

Drinking From the River of Light
By Mark Nepo
“With that, he made me realize that as we only see a dolphin when it breaks surface,
because it spends most of its life out of view in the deep, so it is with the poet and the artist and the lover aching to be loved.”

Big Magic
By Elizabeth Gilbert
“The patron goddess of creative success can sometimes seem like a rich capricious old lady who lives in a giant mansion on a distant hill and who makes really weird decisions about who gets her fortune. She sometimes rewards charlatans and ignores the gifted. She cuts people out of her will loyalty served her for their entire lives, and then gives a Mercedes to that cute boy who cut her lawn once. She changes her mind about things. We try to divine her motives but they remain occult. She is never obliged to explain herself to us. In short, the goddess of creative success may show up for you, or she may not. Probably best, then, if you don’t count on her, or attach your definition of personal happiness to her whims.
Maybe better to reconsider your definition of success, period.”

Figuring
By Maria Popova
“Each that we lose takes part of us;
A crescent still abides,
Which like the moon, some turbid night,
Is summoned by the tides.”
Emily Dickinson

And you? Do you have books or passages to share? Send and I will read and savor.

Love,

SARK

The Real Kind of “Rock Around the Clock”

The Real Kind of “Rock Around the Clock”

I used to stare so hard at the clock in school and pray for the hands to tick past faster. I was being abused in my family and didn’t get much sleep staying up at night to try and protect myself. Then I grew up and started healing from those kinds of experiences, and started creating my own kind of clocks- which felt much better- and my kind of time was my own to create I invented and use something I call the time stretcher– to call in when I want time to stretch out and elongate, good for things like lovemaking and eating delicious food.  And the time shrinker– to call in when I want time to shrink and compress, good for things like the dentist and long plane flights.  One time, I created and sold SARK watches that had words instead of numbers, and those words were randomly repeated; eat, nap, play, love. We couldn’t keep them in stock.  What kinds of time do you want to create in this new decade? Let me know a word or two in the comments, and we’ll play time creating together Mine are: spacious and easy As I continued healing, growing and changing, I began to want more benevolent kinds of time.  Here’s what I came up with.  What do your hands of time say?  And does time have feet? 🤣 Love,

SARK

p.s. if you heard that I’m teaching a 2 day online video reTREAT next weekend- it’s TRUE! It’s a Revolution of Love and Joy Sat/18 & Sun/19 and it welcomes the new & old you, and offers upgrades and additions. You can SIGN UP HERE.

  
NEWest Year Blessing

NEWest Year Blessing

Start NOW or forever hold your pieces.

Because of course, it is always now. 

I’m inviting you to attend to yourself at my 2-day NEW Year’s Revolution of Love and Joy ReTREAT! It’s on video, online and you can sign up HERE.

“The opposite of old is not young. 

The opposite of old is new. As long as we can experience the new, we will gloriously inhabit all of the ages that we are, and welcome all of the dreams that we have” 

I created these words to inspire myself to allow and practice the NEW as much as I sometimes try to cling to whatever is more familiar and perhaps not my most alive choice. 

The most alive choice often feels scary- fizzy or makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. This is where your creative dreams live

Bless this newest Year. Bring the oldest you along. 

If you want a truly NEW year, become the newest oldest you, and blend the two together and go forward with ALL of you, and let us all see and know that you

Let me know one thing you are feeling afraid of and one thing you are reveling in. 

I’m afraid of anxiety running wild & I’m blending and alchemizing these experiences and others into my “marvelous messy middle” life. 

I’m reveling in the explorations of my soul, and drenching myself in what fills my soul as much as possible

What is one of your fears and one of your revelings? 

In this year, may you rediscover and experience all the wisdom that you gathered last year, and apply it again freshly and fully and newly this year. 

If you became an activist, deepen it. If you resisted activism, let yourself soften and see what kind actually fits you. 

If you tried and failed at something, congratulate yourself for reaching and readjust your approach. Tune your vision to receive in new ways. 

If you wanted and it was not given, ask, ask again differently and practice receiving

If you felt furious, heartsick, lonely, despairing, frightened or baffled, thank you for being human

If you felt euphoric, joyfilled, satisfied, successfull, resolved and complete, share it

Happy happy NEWEST Year and blessings to all the other ones too~

Love,

SARK

  

Time and time aGAIN

Time and time aGAIN

  

The dance of self caring swirls endlessly around us all, and as we care for ourselves, we can care for others

I think that self care and self love often get misconstrued as selfish, or misunderstood as being primarily about manicures and bubble baths- both of those are good- they’re just not the whole story. I call it “exquisite self care” and sometimes it will feel everything but exquisite.

I believe that self caring is actually a fierce opportunity and ultimately necessary to grow, change, and love in mature ways.

It involves telling and hearing “microtruths“ (those tiny things we’d often rather avoid saying- or hearing) from ourselves and others, and doing things we sometimes don’t feel like doing, in order to GROW

Growth is messy and doesn’t always feel marvelous or easy. As we navigate all of our feelings, we will encounter the opposites of self caring, and the difficult passages of self destruction- and self care is especially valuable there too. We are all doing the best we can at any given moment, and there will be many regressions and setbacks along the way

And when you add in the sheer maintenance involved in ongoing exquisite self care, it’s truly amazing that anyone can actually do it, and keep doing it. 

And so, we stumble and flail and forget and remember, and forget again. That’s why it’s called PRACTICE. 

As we approach the NEW year, know that the time for self caring can seem to get scooped up by outside activities. What’s a way that you can create some time for practicing your own self caring? Let me know and we’ll uplift and remind each other.

I’ve been setting reminders for doing what I call “tiny yoga”- 5 minutes at a time, and am loving how easy it feels. 

Self hugging is one of my primary self caring tools. 

To receive the full benefit, set a timer for a minute or two, and wrap yourself up in a big hug and hold yourself fully and deeply. Kiss your arms and shoulders as you say endearing and loving words to yourself. I know, it sounds funny or self indulgent, and it REALLY WORKS to create endorphins and other “feel good” chemicals in your body. 

If you’re feeling particularly scared, anxious or alone, you can rock back and forth while hugging yourself and say out loud, “I’m right here, I’m right here” over and over until your nervous system calms down. 

Be willing to stop, quit or give up sooner- without guilt

We are all often scurrying around doing many things, with no thoughts of self caring until depletion occurs. All of a sudden we feel tired, hungry, thirsty or crabby. By then, it’s challenging to apply self care. If you can stop sooner before depletion occurs, you’ll be able to rest, breathe and resume your activities in good spirits.

If you can practice resting without guilt, that’s even better. 

Apply appreciation and love LAVISHLY

David and I play fun games often like “do you want to talk about how much we love each other?” And then we each speak a fast list in detail about how much we appreciate and love the other. If one of us doesn’t feel like offering, they focus on receiving. We also play “great job” where we each appreciate the other in detail for all the tiny and large things they’ve done or been recently. 

Both of these games can be played soulfully solo as well. 

Let me know one of two of your self caring practices and I’ll add it to my ever growing library

Love,

SARK

P.S. I’m inviting you to attend to yourself at my 2 day NEW Year’s Revolution of Love and Joy ReTREAT! It’s on video, online and you can sign up HERE.

Christmas & Every Holiday Miracle is YOU

Christmas & Every Holiday Miracle is YOU

  

Our very lives are miracles and we consistently forget this. I think we forget partly so that we can experience the blessing of remembering. 

The remembering comes in rushes of sweetness as a fever breaks, a flat tire is changed, a hand is extended, a lost is found, a grace is delivered, as lips are kissed, in the rushing, tripping, creeping racing, plodding, crawling and soaring times. In all the times


I send you this remembering in every way and in every kind of time, in every way. 


May we paste this awareness in the tip-top of our consciousness as we cry, celebrate, create, quit, sob, laugh, resist, allow, give, receive and be alive with ourselves and others


I wish you a merry Christmas or whatever holiday is meaningfull to you and every kind of merry there is.


Merry merry life living life through you.

I send you miracles in every form and remind you to ask for them. Ask, ask again, ask differently. 


If the answers appear absent, ask again that they will be given, and tune your vision to see and receive them. 


Our lives are miraculous and so are you


In your all-someness, let your light and dark be seen and shown, especially if you feel particularly alone or afraid. Share what hurts and what heals, allow others to hear and see you in the midst of whatever “it” is. 


We are each beacons, we are luminous beyond physical eyes, we are rare and radiant and ordinary miracles, walking around mostly on legs, or other kinds of transport. 


Let yourself be uplifted and seen in your full self, and when you don’t want to, see yourself. See yourself curled tenderly towards self-love, as your most basic unshiny self, without a cell phone, or other equipment. Breathe softly into your heart and sigh with relief


You are home in yourself all-ways


Love, 

SARK

Breathing is like dreaming

Breathing is like dreaming

All of our breathing is a gift.  I try to remember this as often as I can.  So often I’m taking it for granted- it’s easy to do, and it’s good- I’m also receiving the gifts of my breathing.  Just for this moment, breathe in and out with your full awareness Then again.  I think that dreaming is like breathing- respiration is close to inspiration.
  
Here are some questions for your pondering 🌀Who or what inspires you?  🌀In what ways do you inspire yourself?  🌀What dreams keep floating in for your consideration?  🌀Whose dreams are you dreaming?  I’m endlessly inspired by all the creative dreams being made REAL in our world All of the babies born & growing, inventions invented, words written, art created, love made & remade, feelings felt & alchemized, miracles asked for & received, music played, dances danced, pain transformed, suffering eased, hope rekindled, joyfull solutions created & offered.  What’s your dream? And another?  Your unique gifts are your blessings to bestow, and you are the channel for the divine to flow through. No matter what, your dreams matter.  Let me hear your dreams– sharing them makes them more real and visible, and gifts us all~  Happy winter solstice in the Americas Love, 

SARK

P.S. I’m convening all delicious dreamers in a fabulous 2 day Revolution of Love + Joy online video ReTREAT Sat/18 & Sun/19 of January, and YOU are invited. Go HERE to learn more and sign up today!

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