Happy Thanks~Grieving

Happy Thanks~Grieving

Here we are in America, at Thanks~Giving time, and in the world all-ways giving thanks.

I think of it as Thanks~Grieving too.

It might seem odd to give thanks for grieving, yet I believe it is generative to be gratefull for the grieving as much as we acknowledge all the love that is woven through it.

My deeper experiences with grieving started with the death of my beloved former fiancé John in 2016, and a book I began writing with the working title of “Deeply Grieving, Wildly Living.” I believe we are made to do both together, like bird wings.

We are all grieving in one or more ways, for a myriad of losses. It is not only death that calls for grieving.

I wish that grieving were more ordinarily spoken of, and that we would support ourselves and others in openly grieving, while also giving all thanks for all we have. You can do this by speaking of and acknowledging others grieving, and grieve your own losses as you move through life.

The naming of, and the awareness of grieving, will shapeshift the subject forward for all to benefit from. Grieving gathers helpers and angels too. I believe and know from experience, that angels are in attendance whether we believe in them or not. 

“Clusters of Angels

All along your path

Wherever you go

There are

Clusters of angels

On a mission

These angels

Surround your soul

Wherever you go

Whatever happens” 

I want to recognize the many many people who have been, or are going through challenging times, who feel confused, alone, lost, or scared in the world today- which is all of us at one time or another, and many more people than ever as we all experience this global pandemic time.

I want to share my love and transcendent wishes for people to be able to also deeply grieve while living and loving.

Here’s a VERY partial list of my recipients. 

Please add yours to the comments if you wish.

I am sending love and transcendence to:

  • Everyone in this global pandemic, and all the families who have experienced the death of loved ones or health challenges as a result, and all the essential workers in hospitals and every other realm
  • All the teachers teaching virtually in new ways and all the parents adjusting and helping their children to adjust 
  • All businesses lost or closed
  • All affected by wildfires, earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes and other planetary expressions
  • All who feel lonely, or forgotten or without hope
  • All experiencing inner critics without supervision or translation
  • All who feel unlovable, unloved or unseen
  • All concerned, conflicted, despairing,  frustrated and or fed up with political outcomes and irreconcilable differences
  • All who rise for social justice and keep rising
  • All who know that the political is the personal
  • All who go beyond the personal to work for a mighty vision for change
  • All who think they can’t
  • All who feel ignored, repressed, closed out, treated unkindly or unfairly
  • All who experience racism
  • All unaware of their racism
  • All educating themselves and others about privilege, racism, and the immense necessary changes needed
  • All who experience sexism
  • All who are other gendered and feel unknown 
  • All who experience ableism
  • All who judge
  • All who feel and are judged unfairly
  • All who are feeling suicidal
  • All who are hiding or scared 
  • All who are ill or in pain in any form
  • All disconnected from their wisdom and power
  • All who fear
  • All who fear fear
  • All who deny, resist, avoid and repress their feelings 
  • All who refuse to face facts
  • All who say science isn’t real
  • All who believe in only what can be seen
  • All who struggle against great obstacles to build a better world 
  • All who quit because of fear, doubt or worry
  • All who cry alone unendingly
  • All who try to stop or apologize for their tears and say “I’m sorry” for being human
  • All who experience violence from the hands or guns of another 
  • All who feel forgotten, misunderstood, or unseen
  • All who are trapped, imprisoned or wrongly accused
  • All who wonder why they’re here
  • All who know why they’re here and yet sometimes despair at the time it will take to transform themselves and the world
  • All who live, love and practice in the marvelous messy middle of life, and help others to do so too

All BEings

All ways

All the time. 

Feel free to share this writing with others- let’s openly welcome grieving and mix it liberally with our loving, and our living. 



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The Art of Heart Opening

The Art of Heart Opening

About 2 years ago, David moved from his home in Massachusetts to my home in San Francisco- he had lived in California for most of his life before that.

We met on my “Inspiration Phone” line (415 546 3742) and grew in love talking on the phone for months before we met.

Here we are 2 years ago in this photo- I love my messy hair and our smiling faces.

I count it as one of my voluminous miracles that I opened my heart again and let love IN.

I had asked for the miracle of an epic love, and it happened. And I didn’t ask for epic love to arrive when my heart was closed.

I had to open my heart.

My dear friend Val had asked me not to close my heart after John died, and I replied that it was too late- I had already closed it.

She calmly said, “You can always open it again.”

And somehow, I did.

Of course it was a messy process, full of stops, starts and stutters. And sometimes refusals.

At first I just peered out and quickly closed it again.

Then I practiced with energy medicine and EFT, and my heart stayed open longer.

Then I got scared and closed my heart again.

Then I wrote and shared something called “I’m Dating the World,” and my heart expanded and opened.

And David read what I had written and called me, and I called him back! We communed for hours right away.

It was an outright miracle and my heart bloomed even more open.

It’s open almost all-ways now as David & I live, love and continue to create our mostly wonderfull life together. I say mostly because it’s an art to practice, and keep practicing.

I realize now that all through my life, I’ve closed and opened my heart, and asked for miracles.

Sometimes it appears that the miracle doesn’t appear- certainly the form changes often from what I originally envisioned or asked for. Sometimes I can’t receive what I’ve asked for, or don’t know how to.

My willingness to ask and keep asking, and then receive what comes, has grown ever stronger over these many years.

My “miracle vision” is tuned to SEE the miracles, and ask for more.

And of course the realest miracle is YOU.

We are made for miracles, and our hearts are made to open- again and again. 

Let me know how your heart is moving and what you’re loving these days in our wildly precious earth lives~



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The United States of Avoidance

The United States of Avoidance

Here we are in America, in this post-election time of divisiveness, hope, and seemingly insurmountable differences in need of healing. I believe that it is time for accountability, then unity.

I’ve been reflecting a lot about “what’s going on.” And I believe that we can no longer avoid delving into the devastation.

Here I am in the photo, out for one of my daily miracle walks, and someone had written the word unity on the sidewalk. I’ve added the word account-ability in red above it on the photograph.

And I think that’s also a partial equation because BIPOC (Black Indigenous People Of Color) and other groups of marginalized people need freedom before unity.

I find myself with my privilege wanting to rush right to the unity- to see beyond differences- to fix the problems and make them go away. I too get tempted by the “hurry up and heal” model- because it’s so incredibly uncomfortable to be in devastated places.

And of course we want to heal! 

Or at least many want to heal. Some are not ready, or don’t know how.

Others are refusing. 

Many others are avoiding their feelings, or feeling too many feelings at once, or just overwhelmed by it all.

But the problems won’t go away until we face and feel what’s made them stay this way, and then do the necessary accounting for the damage that has been done, and fix that- at the root.

And I believe that we need considerable help for the fixing- and the healing.

Many years ago, the love relationship I was in had become intolerable, and I wanted to leave as a solution. I thought that if I left, my problems would go away. And of course some would. But I knew that the root causes would continue growing. 

So I took a step I hadn’t taken before in any of my other love relationships- I asked a skilled therapist to intervene and help us, instead of trying to avoid further pain by running away from the relationship. 

I felt so scared and sure it wouldn’t work.

The therapist led both of us through a process we co-created that he called a “relationship autopsy.” We examined the relationship together in a forensic way- and looked at all of our internal systems that contributed to what wasn’t working, and we each accounted for the parts we brought to the relationship that contributed to its non functioning.

That work was hard and took time, and eventually resulted in us deciding to part. That parting was now informed and supported by the accounting, and all had been said and expressed- what a relief! 

Over time, we developed feelings of unity, and understood each other far more than we had before. 

We were able to heal only after we examined the whole creation, and made the necessary amends. 

It was totally worth doing this work, and it made me better able to give and receive love in every relationship since then.

I appreciate what lawyer Sherrilyn Ifill says in the following quote, and would add one word- and that word is yet. I think that it is not yet time for rushing to the healing, and I believe that we must all do the kind of preliminary work that is required to begin healing.

With respect, this is not the time for healing. We have not properly diagnosed the sickness or cleaned the wound. We have not begun to investigate why the illness was allowed to fester so long or identified those who withheld early treatment.”

—Sherrilyn Ifill 

President and Director-Counsel of the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund

I believe that we are each being called now to do deeper work with ourselves, with our families and loved ones, and then bring our full hearts and growing awarenesses to do the necessary collective feeling and healing work that must be done, together.

And then we can begin moving from the United States of Avoidance to the United States of America.

May we all be willing to do, and continue doing, the necessary work- even when it is hard or we feel hopeless. May we receive the joys and benefits of doing our inner work, and seeing substantive outer results. May we practice resting as well as rising up.

I wish for skilled therapy for us all- in whatever forms that takes.

I see, feel and am experiencing the incredible healings that are possible by working at the roots. This is what I both teach and practice.

I love to see and support all the profound ways that love and miracles move, and keep moving among us, with our full and imperfect participation.

If you wish, you are welcome to let me know what you’re creating, learning and experiencing. 



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Let the Healings Continue

Let the Healings Continue

I’m reminded that I used to receive this little pink pill at the dentist, which I was instructed to chew before my cleaning

It then revealed all the places I hadn’t brushed by depositing a pink residue wherever there was plaque. No matter how carefully I brushed before the appointment, this dreaded pink pill revealed the truth.

And now in our world, all the truths are continuing to be revealed. The divisions are being extraordinarily highlighted, and there is tremendous healing work to be done.

You might be wondering and asking how to continue.

Be patient and deep the faith. 

As we continue to count and watch the election unfoldings in America- this is being written on Thu/5, 

May we continue to count the ways that love maintains. 

Let all the upheavals be felt and emotionally processed by us ongoingly. 

Let the many and mightily necessary healings begin and continue. 

And I’m including my mentor Dr. Maya Angelou’s poem here to re-MIND us all to continue.




Into a world which needed you

My wish for you

Is that you continue


To be who and how you are

To astonish a mean world

With your acts of kindness


To allow humor to lighten the burden

of your tender heart


In a society dark with cruelty

To let the people hear the grandeur

Of God in the peals of your laughter


To let your eloquence

Elevate the people to heights

They had only imagined


To remind the people that

Each is as good as the other

And that no one is beneath

Nor above you


To remember your own young years

And look with favor upon the lost

And the least and the lonely


To put the mantel of your protection

Around the bodies of

The young and defenseless


 To take the hand of the despised

And diseased and walk proudly with them

In the high street

Some might see you and

Be encouraged to do likewise



 To plant a public kiss of concern

On the cheek of the sick

And the aged and infirm

And count that as a

Natural action to be expected


 To let gratitude be the pillow

Upon which you kneel to

Say your nightly prayer

And let faith be the bridge

You build to overcome evil

And welcome good


 To ignore no vision

Which comes to enlarge your range

And increase your spirit


 To dare to love deeply

And risk everything

For the good thing


 To float

Happily in the sea of infinite substance

Which set aside riches for you

Before you had a name


 And by doing so

You and your work

Will be able to continue


 (poem written by Maya Angelou in 2016 for Oprah) 

©️Maya Angelou


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I Send You: Maybe

I Send You: Maybe

Maybe we are building a new world.

Maybe we’ll paint marshmallows purple, or free circus elephants.

Maybe we’ll ride on a chocolate merry-go-round, or make tennis shoes for camels.

Maybe we’ll find a child who feels unsafe at home, and take her out of there right away. 

Maybe we’ll mail so many letters to God

that everything gets all healed up.

Maybe we’ll take all the mean people, and use them to fill up the ozone hole.

Maybe when we see a sign that says “drawbridge,” we’ll get out and do a lovely bridge sketch.

Maybe we’ll make airplanes out of the same material that the “black box” is made of.

Maybe we’ll live in real communities, equal for everyone.

Maybe 100% of the people will vote, and start a new world.

Maybe everyone is an angel, god, animal, nature, all rolled into one bundle of nerve and tissue, lip and bone.

Maybe we’ll all stop fighting and trying to be right.

Maybe there will be nap rooms everywhere, and cars will run on kisses.

Maybe dreams are real, and all the homeless will move onto all the golf courses.

Maybe schools are filled with imagination, and prisons have nutritious food and spiritual programs.

Maybe we are all free, safe and well loved.

Maybe we all want the same things.

Maybe we all love everyone.

Let me know any of your Maybe’s- I’ll love to hear.

And of course definitely VOTE.




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The Power Of The Afterlife

The Power Of The Afterlife

This is John, my beloved former fiancé who died in my arms in March 2016.

It was one of the most horrifying and gorgeous experiences of my life, and I’ve written a lot about it previously in my Magic Blog, including about many of his amazing activities in the afterlife.

You might wonder why I also describe the experience as gorgeous- it is because of the incredible love I felt and feel as a result of knowing him, and everything I’ve learned and am learning, since. 

I now understand that there is no “death” in the conventional understanding, and that there is tremendous under, or unutilized power available to us from the afterlife- especially in this current time.

With respect to everyone reading and all the different belief systems, I want to share more now about what I believe and have experienced about the power of the 

afterlife and to share John’s gift with you. 

I started connecting with beings in the afterlife in my childhood- actually I connected with beings from all sorts of dimensions, including those in the future. 

I have all sorts of memories of the future. 

When I was young, I saw Native Americans cooking in the corner in my bedroom at night. When I told my parents, they told me I was over imaginative. So I learned not to talk about it- with them.

Before John left, he told me he was eager to mentor people from beyond the physical realm and that all they had to do was ask. He was so excited that he could be all over the universe in an infinite number of places at once. He has asked me to remind you that you can ask him.

If you’re drawn to this idea, you can ask him as simply as this: 

“John, could you help?” 

You might picture his face or just his energy. You don’t need to “know him” to be able to do this. I often ask for him to connect before I go to sleep, and he appears in my dream and responds.

I ask him often and he has: fixed things, found things, reassured me, helped me to create new things- I have profound experiences with this all of the time. One of the most profound of all was that John told me that my life partner was arriving in May. I met my beloved David on May 21 2018, and we’ve been joyfully loving and living together ever since. 

And of course it’s not only John, anyone in the afterlife can be called on for help or insight. I know for example that Ruth Bader Ginsburg is very active right now. 

You might already be doing this and accessing this power with people in your life who have departed physically.

I asked John recently if he knew who would win the upcoming United States election, and he said that the outcome is being powerfully developed by all of us, and that loving is the whole point.

He had given me his wisdom about this prior to the last election in 2016 after he departed and has been helping to guide me in communicating about it since.

So vote for love with your whole heart and keep doing that no matter who “wins.

We have mighty missions now, and every soul is needed, including the ones we don’t agree with. Practicing unconditional love- no matter what- is the key- which is often the hardest vote of all. And remember that if you practice badly, it still works.

If you wish, let the beings in the afterlife know what you need and want- they have tremendous power in all ways– especially without having physical bodies and personalities to deal with.

John is available in his infinite presence, and eager to be asked. 

Let me know if you’re drawn, or have experiences with this sort of energy, I’ll love to hear. 

And of course, vote!




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I Miss Sitting Close

I Miss Sitting Close

This photo is from a tiny party I had in July 2018, before David moved in and before the world of ourselves changed.
Thank you dear Andrea for standing on the couch to take the photograph.
Thank you from left to right: Virginia, Yofe,
moi, Val, Eric, Vanda, Monica.

When I saw it, it made me realize that I miss sitting close- leaning, squeezing, hugging, singing, laughing, crying close together with people that I like + love.
Maybe you do too?

Since I’ve been teaching on video calls since 2010, a certain kind of visual closeness is familiar to me- and I’m so gratefull to technology for being able to gather closely in that way.

But I miss sitting close.

I’m writing about this to be close in another kind of way- to closely share my intimate experience with you helps me to feel closer to you, and myself.

There are lots of other things I miss, and some I don’t.

I don’t miss pressuring myself to “be social,” when I don’t feel like it. As much as I am usually clear and direct about what I want, I sometimes “do things” or go places out of fear, obligation or guilt.
Can you relate?

Years ago, I figured out that that spells
FOG:-) and I now adjust my activities accordingly. It feels like quarantine supports me in practicing with that, and instead of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) I am much more able to practice JOMO
(Joy Of Missing Out.)

What do you miss?
What don’t you?
What are you practicing?



p.s. if you miss listening to something real and nourishing, call me on my Inspiration Line 415 546 3742 and say hi. I’ll love to hear your voice. Or, you can simply listen and hang up- I’ll appreciate that too.

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You Are Your Own Healer

You Are Your Own Healer

I send you this art as a reminder of your healing abilities- no matter what.

As I was deciding what to write for this Magic Blog, I found myself bereft of words, caught in what felt like a hopeless entanglement of sadness and loss.

No-thing in particular, everything in general.

I imagine you know what I mean.

I’m reminded of what someone said to last week when I wrote about being yelled at in my Magic Blog.

Kathryn Tabor wrote;
“How do you do it SARK? Cheerful on top of Cheerful?”

And I replied;
Dear Kathryn Tabor!
“I’m cheerfull layered in with crabbiness, despair and absolute horror. I just don’t get stuck there.”

Lots of people thanked me for my honesty, for being real.

I’ve been doing this work of being real and vulnerable my whole life, and for my whole writing life, and since I began publishing my work in 1989.

I cannot imagine being any other way, and have waited my whole life for the world to openly share more of their real selves too, and am so pleased by the significant positive shifts I see and experience in those directions.

Especially when that realness contributes to real healings for real people in this world.

The more we can each be who we really and truly are, embracing and sharing our shadows and sharing our light, and opting out of trying to bypass the real stuff, the more we can move forward in and with love.

What about you? Do you feel like you can be real? What stops you or supports you in that? In what ways are you healing yourself? Let me know in the comments if you wish.



You Are Your Own Healer

So. Much. Love.

The other day, I was standing tucked into the corner of a garden space on the street, far away from all people, writing on my cell phone with my mask down.

A woman with a small dog on a leash appeared on the sidewalk-about 3/4 of block away-shouting,
“You’re part of the problem! It’s people like you without a mask!!!”

I didn’t realize at first that she was shouting at me.

I pulled up my mask briefly to show her that I had one and continued writing.
She shouted louder and started screaming all sorts of things at me.

As irritation and anger rose large in me, I suddenly also saw all her fear unmasked. I realized that she felt terrified to be out walking in the dangerous (in her mind) sunshine air in any kind of proximity to an unmasked person- even though we were at that point, more than 30 yards apart.

I then located my compassion and was able to just beam love towards her- she continued screaming, so there was no chance for dialogue.

I think that deliberately occupying love is our greatest activism. Occupying love in the face of hatred or fear is our “no matter what” opportunity.

If course it doesn’t always “work.”
Then we must have love for ourselves.

And when we experience our own versions of fear or hatred, that we remember that we too are “them.”

I am often busy thinking that I’m not “like them.”

It is a time like no other, and we are being called to generate love like no other.
Of course this doesn’t mean we can’t or don’t get angry or resist.

I believe it means that we let love be larger and more frequently visible, and that we return to love swiftly much more often.

As you vote, vote for that. You are voting, or have voted, right?

What about you? How are you moving through your life with love? I’ll love to know.



A Miracle Encounter + Invitation

A Miracle Encounter + Invitation

A few months after my former fiancé John died, I replaced the blinds in our bedroom, and the installer helped me take the old blinds to the recycling bin. 

As we did this work together, I said, 

“Thank you for helping me do this. My fiancé John would have helped, but he changed his residence to heaven.” 

(I was experimenting with different ways to say that he had died.)

And this man practically shouted,

“You mean he DIED?”

And I replied that he had, and then he exclaimed,                                                    

“How long ago?” 

I told him it had been a few months. He then said,                                                                

“How can you be this good, after that happened?”

I explained that I lived in so much love, and was filled up with so much love, that even this huge loss couldn’t take that love away. I also shared that I had been helplessly sobbing on the floor before he arrived- that I had felt, and feel both horribly sad and incredibly glad, and everywhere in between. I explained that this is what I do with losses.

He then said,

“Well not me! I’m not married, I don’t have kids or even pets, I’m not going to risk losing love and getting my heart broken. Nope, no big-or little- losses for me!”

I told him I understood, and then gently asked if that didn’t mean he was living in loss every day? 

He just stopped and stared at me for the longest time and then said,

“Well, I never thought of it that way. I think you’ve opened my heart right here by this recycling bin. It’s a miracle.”

He asked if I was writing a book about this and I said that I was:

 Living (Mostly) Wonderfull: The Surprising Gifts of Terrible Things.

Now I’m inviting you to attend a brand new depthfull retreat I’m teaching called:

The Surprising Gifts of Terrible Things

*gift locating is optional

 Alchemizing Losses of All Kinds and Letting more Love IN

Get all the details and SIGN UP HERE. I’ll see you there. 

I had a conversation with my dear friend Elissa after this miracle encounter, and she offered this:

“When you try to protect yourself from loss by not loving, or by loving less, you are subject to a feeling of continuous loss.

If you choose love, and eventually lose it, the pain of the loss is temporary. You can practice loving through all the losses, over and over.”

During the retreat you will learn new ways to let more love IN because of the losses, and how to fill yourself UP with the capacity to alchemize both the wonderfull and terrible things that happen.     

(Note: this is not achieved by positive thinking- rather by feeling and loving your way through.) 

You will experience significant new ways to practice alchemizing loss and change and receive immediate benefit as you move forward in your life.

I send us all the willingness to keep feeling and alchemizing our losses and letting more love in.

Let me know how loss is moving in your life and how I can support you in loving your way through. 



p.s. Come if you feel sad, depleted, anxious, hopefull, joyfull, inspired or eager to create the NEW. This is an uncommon retreat, created as a result of my “deeply grieving and wildly living” both- like bird wings. You will be nourished, uplifted and shown new ways to love yourself with ALL the feelings in your emotional family and the people in your life (and this will of course spill out into the world), and in addition to all of that, you will likely have fun;-) 

There is also an optional time for an hour after the retreat to be in small serendipitous groups. Sign up HERE.

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