The Light Is Always Somewhere And It Needs The Shadows To Be Seen

The Light Is Always Somewhere And It Needs The Shadows To Be Seen

Come and be with me and so many enlivened souls this Sat/28 @ 2pm pacific

Register HERE & you’ll receive the rePLAY.

We will expand our emotional resilience, practice a new relationship with fear, and alchemize and blend the terrible and wonderfull things into a brand new healing mixture. All of the feelings in your emotional family are welcome, and we will create a spacious resting & replenishing place together that you can take with you.

I took this photograph in my neighborhood and was so moved by the light, and reminded that the shadows make it possible for that light to be seen and known. It is the mixture of that light and shadow that most serves us.

The miracles are here too, to be named, seen and asked for in the midst of it all- you and your miracle visioning self are called forward now as never before. Come awake with yourself in this miraculously unfolding time.

As you may know, I’ve been writing my new book since 2016- when my fiancé John died in my arms after a 9 month illness. I went on a deeply grieving, wildly living journey with that experience, which is culminating in my book:
“Living (Mostly) Wonderfull; The Surprising Gifts of Terrible Things.”

This book is even more of my lived experience now, and in the world, and I’m moved to begin teaching and sharing from it as we all navigate this new world together.

Here is an excerpt from the introduction to the book:

“This alchemizing and blending work is not about positive thinking, a quick fix or spiritually bypassing the necessary excavations and repairs. Much more than looking on the bright side, it’s about being willing to be and live with, the bright, dull and in between sides- I call that the marvelous messy middle, and that’s where I mostly live- in between the wonderfull and terrible things.

There are so many terrible things, and wonderfull things, and we must become alchemists to blend the two.

Part of that alchemy involves actively and ongoingly grieving while living.

There is a new paradigm of grieving available to us all, where we are deeply grieving and wildly living, both at the same time-with all the small and large losses in our lives- things like lost dreams, health, hopes, ways of living, challenging financial circumstances, climate changes, these and many others all call for our active and ongoing grieving.

It is truly a new paradigm of grieving where we don’t wait for someone to die to live and practice the art of grieving.

We can grieve everything as we live, and blend it all together, and apply that mixture skillfully to the lives we are living right now- in all circumstances. We can live in the marvelous messy middle with ALL the feelings in our emotional families, and create valuable new perspectives for ourselves.

This results in what I call Living (Mostly) Wonderfull. It is mostly because it is an art more than science to live in these ways- which does not mean it’s not practical. I like to say and live with this;

“Let the magical stand up to the practical.”

All the wonderfull and terrible things blended together serve as fuel for all our transformations.”

I welcome your heart joining me in this time, and I welcome your soul movementsboth in regression and progression– and your bright beatific buoyancy in the moments that arise, and for the tender tears that we can all cry together.

See you Saturday and after Saturday and for all the Saturdays we may have.



Faster Moving Miracles

Faster Moving Miracles

As most of us are now “sheltering in place” or will be soon, let us remember that we are each a miracle, on our way to a miracle, living in a miraculous world. 

Of course it doesn’t always feel like this at all.

Especially right now and after right now and then later too. 

It also feels like terror, loss, fear, sadness, loneliness, despair, shame, resistance, intolerance, hopelessness and absence of the familiar.

All of our disowned, barely felt or barricaded feelings are rising up to be seen, known and loved now. 

We do this by feeling it all, by including all of the feelings in our emotional families, and giving them room to soften and change shape with our love

We are in the most mighty compassion expanding time of all times, and as fast as the virus is moving, the miracles are moving faster. 

Let’s notice and name some miracles!

The more we do this, the more they will show up.

Creativity is at an all time high, as EVERYone moves to meet the new times.

Musicians are doing impromptu concerts from their homes, authors and artists are holding book readings and virtual art classes, and many parents are home schooling when they thought they never would, or could.

We are all being schooled in taking care of our home earth now. Polluted skies are clearing, dolphin are leaping in the Venice canals, and it’s as if the earth is breathing deeply.

And of course I’m honoring and acknowledging that there is also great despair, pain, terror, death and suffering during these times too. The miracles are woven within, and our hearts are opening to feel and experience it all.

May our love be infinitely visible throughout.

One of our biggest miracle resources is humans- and they’re creating, sharing, and offering every kind of gift, service and type of information during this time.

Thank you for being a human reading these words and moving your soul and heart forward as we all create a new world together.

Jennifer Mullins Williams compiled this list with sources-thank you dear Jennifer!

-China has CLOSED down its last coronavirus hospital. NOT enough new cases to support them.

– Doctors in India have been SUCCESSFUL in treating Coronavirus. Combination of drugs used: Lopinavir, Retonovir, Oseltamivir along with Chlorphenamine. They are going to suggest same medicine, GLOBALLY.

– Researchers of the Erasmus Medical Center claim to have FOUND an ANTIBODY against coronavirus.

– Cleveland Clinic developed a COVID-19 test that gives RESULTS in HOURS, not days.

– Good news from South Korea, where the number of new cases is DECLINING.

– Italy is hit hard, experts say, because they have the oldest population in Europe.

– Scientists in Israel likely to announce the development of a coronavirus VACCINE.

– A network of Canadian scientists are making excellent PROGRESS in Covid-19 research.

– A San Diego biotech company is developing a Covid-19 VACCINE in collaboration with Duke University and National University of Singapore.

– Tulsa County’s first positive COVID-19 case has RECOVERED. This individual has had two NEGATIVE tests, which is the indicator of recovery.

– Plasma from newly RECOVERED patients from Covid -19 can TREAT OTHERS infected by Covid-19.

Here’s to more mighty miracles gathering for us all to see and know- let us name and celebrate them, and invite more.

Thank you to everybody, especially health care workers, nurses, doctors and anyone working to be of service so that our services continue.

May we all practice applied patience, the art of letting go and build even more resilience along our way. Let us participate in building abundance more than participating in scare-city. 

Let us love and be loving as often as possible, and in that way, create more love to share.



p.s. The art is from my new series of paintings about deeply grieving while wildly living~ 

A Better Relationship with Fear

A Better Relationship with Fear

My fears are very active these days.

There is a lot to be afraid of and people to be afraid for.

These multitudinous fears jostle for position, for my attention.

They clamor for my complete attention.

I used to try to avoid or resist my fears.

For a number of years I tried to control my fears by attempting to control the environment that seemed to produce them

I heard messages like these incessantly inside my head:

“If only I could…”

“If only he/she/they would or wouldn’t….”

“If we had just planned better….”

“If only this didn’t cause…”

“Oh no! Not THIS!”

Then for awhile I tried squashing my fears into some kind of containment– by placating, pleasing or otherwise untruthfull behaviors.

Listing all of my fears kind of worked, although the fears seemed to multiply faster than I could make note of them.

I tried just accepting them, and that worked until new varieties sprang up to capture again- my complete attention, leaving me to feel consumed by the fears.

Fears and their cousins worries, eventually moved in and wildly acted out with each new affront.

I finally realized some years ago that it was best to live primarily in the marvelous messy middle and stay out of the extremes with my feelings. This involved welcoming and allowing ALL the feelings in my emotional family- including my fears.

I tried to be friends with my fears, until I realized that they didn’t meet my friendship requirements, the most important being kindness and truthfulness. Fears most often responded by being unkind and lying.

I then informed my fears that while we couldn’t be friends, that I would practice allowing them. This allowing takes the form of my listening to my fears under supervised visits, giving them love, and no longer letting them run my life or my mind.

This actually worked. By including all my feelings in my emotional family, I’m now able to fully feel them, give them love and integrate them into my life in ways that allows for a LOT more calm and ease, and allows me to help others do that too. I practice with my feelings care methods daily and that has shifted EVERYthing in my emotional life.

I went on to establish new and better relationships with all of my feelings.

I released my feelings of shame where I had duct taped them in the basement to try to silence them.

I welcomed my worries and stopped trying to stop them. Then of course I worried about THAT. Worries are incessantly active in the negative- they can’t help it.

I invited anxiety to tea and discovered that it had lots to anxiously say about EVERYthing, and anxiety informed me that I hadn’t really listened in a long time, well maybe really never….

My fears informed me that I had better get and stay prepared, because there are worse things than I had ever imagined that could and would happen- especially if I don’t stay:


(Fears can get very active and agitated, and they love to take up all the space and air until they feel heard- once heard, they will soften and change shape.)

How’s your relationship with fear? How do you relate to your life and the world with regard to it? Sending fear softening and love expansion to us all. Leave a note 🎶 if I can reduce the fearing and add some loving to your life, or if you’d just like to say hi~

Fear feeds on the unknown and lives primarily OUT of the present moment.

Ask yourself “How am I in this moment?”

And then ask again, until your nervous system calms. Ask to be shown ways to help yourself and others release from fears.

Fears will settle right down with some simple attention. Say out loud or under your breath, “Fear, I see you, I hear you, I acknowledge you.”

This will allow fears to soften and change shape. In that shape changing and softening comes relief. In that relief you can breathe deeper and feel more love flowing.

Here are a few other (mostly free) resources: 

Watch the movie Inside Out
Feelings and emotions are brought to life in the most innovative and creative ways, causing the viewer to expand their feelings capacities.

Let yourself laugh heartily while watching this gem with Bob Newhart

Listen to these sounds and more easily let go of fears, worries and overthinking. 852 Hz 

Do this simple 5-minute tai chi routine to support and calm your nervous system

Here’s a great 2 minute video on breathing for calming and receiving from Steve Sisgold- author, speaker and Whole Body Intelligence Coach

Consider doing EMDR
Due to current circumstances, Valerie Tate is now offering EMDR Online! 

(Free consult via video)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing is an integrative psychotherapy approach that has been extensively researched and proven effective for the treatment of trauma or persistent thought patterns that are affecting you in day to day life. It is used for phobias, traumatic events or fears.

I HIGHLY recommend this modality, Valerie’s skills, and how quickly it can cause positive changes. Read More HERE

Practice EFT
I’ve utilized EFT for years, and it’s superb for easily and quickly shifting your emotional state. You can download Stephanie’s FREE course HERE.

EFT is a highly effective self healing technique, implemented by gently tapping along Meridian end points on the face and body. When we experience fear, our bodies release stress chemicals. EFT has been proven to turn off the fight or flight response, calm the nervous system and promote healthy energy flow, returning you to a state of feeling safe and grounded. 

Donna Eden’s Energy Medicine Programs
This work is simple, PROFOUND and life changing- I practice it daily. There is a fabulous directory of practitioners and lots of free resources for you to explore- simple 1-2 minute ways to shift your energy from fear to love and expand your innate vitality and health.

Call me on my Inspiration Phone line a free 24 hour phone line I’ve offered for over 25 years. It’s real, loving and calming, and it’s there for you:
415 546 3742

Whatever ways you choose to practice, keep choosing and practicing and be an embodied example for others.

Here’s to less fearing and more loving,


p.s. I LOVE playing around on Instagram! You can find me there SARKifying life.

Let Pleasure Be Primary

Let Pleasure Be Primary

Some time after my beloved fiancé John died in March 2016, I had started resuming somewhat “normal activities” and was at my local UPS store picking up and shipping packages. 

During this time, I was astonished that the world kept turning after he diedI didn’t see then how my life could or would really go on

The UPS worker who had seen me through the seemingly endless days when John was so ill, was there as I turned in some packages to be shipped. 

She put her hand on mine and said with so much love in her eyes,
I know how sad you are, and I want to remind you that now you get to create an entirely new life!”
It shocked me that she said this.

And it stayed with me, because I didn’t want to create a new life- I wanted the one that I had with John back again! Didn’t she know that? Of course I appreciated that she cared, and I had a feeling that there was an important message for me in what she said.

Then I remembered one of the last things John said to me before he died, when I asked how I could possibly go on without him.

Susan, you get happy. Happier than you’ve ever been. And when love comes again, you go full speed ahead.”

And when I reflected again on that, I realized that he had meant love with a new person and, he had also meant LOVE IN GENERAL.

So I wrote something called “I’m Dating the World,” and so many of you responded, and said you lived, or wanted to live like that too.

That writing led me to my beloved David, and I did also get happier than I’d ever been, and sadder too. They both blended together into what I call Deeply Grieving and Wildly Living, which is the book I’m currently writing and teaching from.

One of my many intentions is to let pleasure be primary. This means doing and being more of what I love no matter what, as often as possible. How are you doing or creating pleasure? Is it primary in your life? Why or why not?

Here’s what I wrote that drew David in:
I’m Dating the World 

And the update to that is that we’re both dating the world now- we were each living that way separately, and now we live that way together.

Double the magic!

I know now that my focus on letting pleasure be primary was no diminishment to my love for and with John. It’s a tribute to the love we shared when he was physically present, and now continues into infinity.

I wish more pleasure for you in every way, and that your love for life bubbles up and spills over into every possible place.

Joyfully, pleasurably, delightfully,


p.s. I LOVE playing around on Instagram! You can find me there SARKifying life.

Resting Is Productive

Resting Is Productive

Many times I become so sure that “doing something” is the best plan.

It seems so important to DO.

And of course there are so many things that must be done, and that are good to do. Then there is overdoing, which I have excelled at.

We even name our lists “to do” lists.

My beloved David creates “to be” lists and looks at the end of the day to see if he has been able to BE what he envisioned.

Here’s one of his lists from the other day:


Sometimes he checks with me to see if I want to give examples of how he was able to be any of his list items.

Almost always, I’m able to easily point to ways he was able to be what he’d envisioned, and add others.

When we can be who and what we’d like, I find that the doing becomes easier.

I think it allows the doing part of the brain to rest, and we can stop trying to be who we really are by doing, and inhabit who we really want to BE.

Which likely involves more rest.

To the doing part of us, rest is wastefull, unnecessary or even lazy.

Or, we just really don’t have time.

The being part of us revels in and relishes rest.

And of course we need the do-er and the be-er active in ourselves to live in this world- the questions are, how much are you mindfully engaging in both? Or not?

Fresh thoughts move us in new directions- how are your thoughts fresh or not? I’m frequently uncovering stale thoughts and switching to fresher ones.

Rest More Often

I know- it’s hard to rest when there’s so much to do. There’s no time to rest and resting is a waste of time or only for when you’re ill or injured.

Rest Anyway

If you’re busy or stressed or doing lots of things, the counter balance is rest

Rest Smaller

Tiny or micronaps have a big benefit

Rest in the Midst of Doing 

Do less, be more

Know that your Resting Contributes to

Fresh thoughts
Happier spirits
More productive doing
Ability to love
A peacefull soul

Sometimes we just need permission to rest or nap.

This is your permission.



p.s. All my resting and napping has produced the most wonderfull opportunity and you are invited! I’ll be the keynote and teaching at
The Gathering of the Creatives conference this September 4-6 with Julia Cameron, Flora Bowley, Jacob Nordby, and so many other terrific teachers- you can see them all HERE.  Super earliest bird pricing is available through Sun/1st March. This is my one live in-person workshop of 2020! 

Then, even more loving, lounging and creating~

Happy Valentine’s LIFE

Happy Valentine’s LIFE

Everyone passes the love test.

Since we are all perfectly imperfect, we are all lovers in that sense.

We are all always making LOTS of mistakes, and it helps to keep surprise close at hand, as well as self-compassion. 

I so appreciate this lovely soul for tattooing these words.

And here for Valentine’s Day, we are reminded to love- not only in the way of lovers- in the way of loving it ALL as much as we can. Yes, all of it.

Even when it’s excruciating.
Even when it’s boring.
Even when it’s inconvenient
Which it usually is.

This part of a poem by Rumi reminds us that we are all one;

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about”


And when we contemplate being all one, we cry out, “But not them! Or him! Or her! Or certainly not that! Or DEFINITELY not that!!!!

Love flows through it all, no matter what.

I invite us all to have far more than a Valentines Day.

Have a Valentine’s LIFE

Where your soul is known and you choose love more often than fear. Where you do the deep and necessary psychological excavations and repairs. Where you cry as often as laughing and there’s no distinction. Where you choose peace over trying to be right. Where you rise up and act for what’s right. Where you lie down frequently and rest guiltlessly. Where you love wildly with all your faucets turned on.

Where you realize that you are here as much to feel as you are to heal, and that life keeps moving forward as love does.

How are you, or can you be loving in this moment? Let me know~

For your Valentine’s Life, practice with these:

Consider yourself a lover of this world and act that way 

Make yourself available to be loved and loving by seeing with your eyes of love- especially if and when it doesn’t look like what you think love looks like. Find more places where you can offer love and expand on those. Repeat.

When you feel fear, feel it 

It sounds so obvious, and yet many of us resist feeling fear when it comes. We will do almost anything to avoid or escape it.

Just 1 second of feeling it will shift that. Simply say out loud or to yourself, “Fear, I see you, I hear you, I acknowledge you.”

This will allow fear to soften and change shape, and then know that you are there with it- that changes everything. Use this formula to fully feel all your feelings.

Stay Loose and Rest More 

There is so much to do, solve, repair and overcome in this world and in our lives.

Staying loose will allow any rigidity to soften and new solutions to flow in.

Resting more often will shelter your soul until you arise again, to do the work and feel the feelings and dare again to love in the midst of it all.

Here’s to us all in our Valentine’s Lives, even when it doesn’t feel that way at all.

Our collective hearts are mighty beyond measure, and love just keeps multiplying beyond anything unlike itself.

Let me know where and how your love is flowing~



Love Moves When You Do

Love Moves When You Do


I’ve been practicing self hugging for some years now.

When I first began, I felt kind of foolish and even self-indulgent. I did it in private and it felt so good it quickly grew to my doing it everywhere and anywhere.

Then I began sharing it with clients, audiences and friends.

I’ve learned that many people do not practice self hugging- I think they fear looking foolish, or think that it won’t really work for them, or they just forget about doing it.

I’m here to re-MIND you!

Self hugging raises up all the “feel good” hormones: endorphins, oxytocin, and serotonin.

I’ve found out that most people don’t self hug long enough for it to feel really good and have those good effects. Or, they don’t really wrap themselves UP. 

I recommend 30 seconds minimum and up to 1-2 minutes for optimum effect.

I start most days with self hugging, and get out of bed feeling like 10 good friends have hugged me. In this way, I often am able to live like a full cup of self-love, sharing my overflow with the world

And when I don’t feel that way, self hugging helps me fill myself back up.

Do you practice self hugging? Why or why not? I’ll love to know your experience.

More great self hugging moments to experience:

•Kiss your arms & shoulders & say terms of endearments while using your name repeatedly & feel your serotonin levels MULTIPLY

•Self hug while rocking back & forth & saying comforting words over and over like “I’m right
here, I’m right here” and feel the embodiment of your Inner Wise Self in

•Repeat self hugging daily or most days & feel your endorphins EXPANDING

We are made for love and loving, and can self hug right now and connect ourselves with those loving feelings and generate even more LOVE.



Practicing Seeing with Eyes of Love Through the Heart

Practicing Seeing with Eyes of Love Through the Heart

Happy Fabulous February! My beloved David and I have been together 20 months now- yes we’re still counting months;-)

My goddaughter Vanessa remarked that one of her favorite things I’ve written about our relationship is something I named the “sponge differential”.

Early on, I discovered David’s and my differing sponge habits.

One of us doesn’t wring the sponge out or put it back in the same spot, the other of us has a little “bed” that the sponge lies down in, having been wrung out.

This resulted in various moments of mild frustration. So, we created a joyfull solution and got 2 sponges!

Of course, this is a tiny and truly inconsequential difference- and yet it can be one of those daily annoyances that builds over time and can highlight other habits or preferences that one wishes to change about oneself or another.

And since the only person you can ever change is yourself, we practice love translations– where you see your partner- and everyone else- with eyes of love, instead of critical eyes. Practice is the operative word here.

It’s simple and it works to keep the love flowing. It isn’t always easy to practice.

How do you experience differences in your loving relationships? What practices do you utilize? I’ll love to hear.

Once we got 2 sponges and the annoyance was solved, guess what?

We started using the same sponge!

We’re now a one sponge family. And sometimes it’s wrung out, sometimes not, and it lives all over the place. Solving this tiny difference allowed us to solve and change other things too, and we are practicing consistently.

Here are some of our other favorite ways of practicing seeing with eyes of love:

Add the words “just like me” at the end of every criticizing sentence you proclaim about your partner, friend or someone else. It works remarkably well to draw your attention back to the primary source of change, which, of course, is YOU.

Practice sharing your “micro truths”– those tiny upsetting things you would really rather not say- it will result in your feeling closer and more emotionally available and loving to yourself and others.

Play and experiment with creating “joyfull solutions” which go beyond compromise, and create a way for both people to get what they want and feel loving while they do!

I wrote a book with my fiancé Dr. John Waddell (who transitioned to the non-physical in 2016) called Succulent Wild Love: Six Powerful Habits For Feeling More Love More Often

These concepts and others are lovingly detailed and described in the book.

You can get it in paperback HERE

Or you can get it in digital HERE


Our eyes of love, of course, originate in the heart, as Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, author of the Little Prince wrote:

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye”



Books, Books, and More Books!

Books, Books, and More Books!

You might know that I read- a LOT.

It all started in one of my parents laps, and in first grade when my teacher dared me to read a book a day for a year and I did.

It continued in the library and the bookmobile (the first kind of mobile word magic) and in every kind of nook, corner and bed I could lie down in.

I kept it up on trains, planes and even sometimes in cars until I felt wobbly dizzy.

I read books while I lived inside the bookshelves at Shakespeare & Company bookstore in Paris, behind a purple velvet curtain.

Books are my best (not human) friends.

Then of course I write and publish books too. I’ve published 18, have created several that are in various stages, and have sketched out ideas for the next 50.

I’m doing more loving and living than book writing these days, and it feels good. If slow is the new fast, then I’m as fast as ever.

I’ve been slowly writing a new book in between naps- thank you to everyone who has asked! I’m envisioning a really new kind of way to share my new book, and you’ll be hearing more about that.

Do you love books? What are you reading? Let me know- I’m curious.
Also, do you like reading ebooks or actual? Or a mixture? Do you like listening to books?

Ah, it’s difficult to pick just 3!
I’ll say 3 for just right now.

Drinking From the River of Light
By Mark Nepo
“With that, he made me realize that as we only see a dolphin when it breaks surface,
because it spends most of its life out of view in the deep, so it is with the poet and the artist and the lover aching to be loved.”

Big Magic
By Elizabeth Gilbert
“The patron goddess of creative success can sometimes seem like a rich capricious old lady who lives in a giant mansion on a distant hill and who makes really weird decisions about who gets her fortune. She sometimes rewards charlatans and ignores the gifted. She cuts people out of her will loyalty served her for their entire lives, and then gives a Mercedes to that cute boy who cut her lawn once. She changes her mind about things. We try to divine her motives but they remain occult. She is never obliged to explain herself to us. In short, the goddess of creative success may show up for you, or she may not. Probably best, then, if you don’t count on her, or attach your definition of personal happiness to her whims.
Maybe better to reconsider your definition of success, period.”

By Maria Popova
“Each that we lose takes part of us;
A crescent still abides,
Which like the moon, some turbid night,
Is summoned by the tides.”
Emily Dickinson

And you? Do you have books or passages to share? Send and I will read and savor.



The Real Kind of “Rock Around the Clock”

The Real Kind of “Rock Around the Clock”

I used to stare so hard at the clock in school and pray for the hands to tick past faster. I was being abused in my family and didn’t get much sleep staying up at night to try and protect myself. Then I grew up and started healing from those kinds of experiences, and started creating my own kind of clocks- which felt much better- and my kind of time was my own to create I invented and use something I call the time stretcher– to call in when I want time to stretch out and elongate, good for things like lovemaking and eating delicious food.  And the time shrinker– to call in when I want time to shrink and compress, good for things like the dentist and long plane flights.  One time, I created and sold SARK watches that had words instead of numbers, and those words were randomly repeated; eat, nap, play, love. We couldn’t keep them in stock.  What kinds of time do you want to create in this new decade? Let me know a word or two in the comments, and we’ll play time creating together Mine are: spacious and easy As I continued healing, growing and changing, I began to want more benevolent kinds of time.  Here’s what I came up with.  What do your hands of time say?  And does time have feet? 🤣 Love,


p.s. if you heard that I’m teaching a 2 day online video reTREAT next weekend- it’s TRUE! It’s a Revolution of Love and Joy Sat/18 & Sun/19 and it welcomes the new & old you, and offers upgrades and additions. You can SIGN UP HERE.


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