The Light Is Always Somewhere And It Needs The Shadows To Be Seen

The Light Is Always Somewhere And It Needs The Shadows To Be Seen

Come and be with me and so many enlivened souls this Sat/28 @ 2pm pacific

Register HERE & you’ll receive the rePLAY.

We will expand our emotional resilience, practice a new relationship with fear, and alchemize and blend the terrible and wonderfull things into a brand new healing mixture. All of the feelings in your emotional family are welcome, and we will create a spacious resting & replenishing place together that you can take with you.

I took this photograph in my neighborhood and was so moved by the light, and reminded that the shadows make it possible for that light to be seen and known. It is the mixture of that light and shadow that most serves us.

The miracles are here too, to be named, seen and asked for in the midst of it all- you and your miracle visioning self are called forward now as never before. Come awake with yourself in this miraculously unfolding time.

As you may know, I’ve been writing my new book since 2016- when my fiancé John died in my arms after a 9 month illness. I went on a deeply grieving, wildly living journey with that experience, which is culminating in my book:
“Living (Mostly) Wonderfull; The Surprising Gifts of Terrible Things.”

This book is even more of my lived experience now, and in the world, and I’m moved to begin teaching and sharing from it as we all navigate this new world together.

Here is an excerpt from the introduction to the book:

“This alchemizing and blending work is not about positive thinking, a quick fix or spiritually bypassing the necessary excavations and repairs. Much more than looking on the bright side, it’s about being willing to be and live with, the bright, dull and in between sides- I call that the marvelous messy middle, and that’s where I mostly live- in between the wonderfull and terrible things.

There are so many terrible things, and wonderfull things, and we must become alchemists to blend the two.

Part of that alchemy involves actively and ongoingly grieving while living.

There is a new paradigm of grieving available to us all, where we are deeply grieving and wildly living, both at the same time-with all the small and large losses in our lives- things like lost dreams, health, hopes, ways of living, challenging financial circumstances, climate changes, these and many others all call for our active and ongoing grieving.

It is truly a new paradigm of grieving where we don’t wait for someone to die to live and practice the art of grieving.

We can grieve everything as we live, and blend it all together, and apply that mixture skillfully to the lives we are living right now- in all circumstances. We can live in the marvelous messy middle with ALL the feelings in our emotional families, and create valuable new perspectives for ourselves.

This results in what I call Living (Mostly) Wonderfull. It is mostly because it is an art more than science to live in these ways- which does not mean it’s not practical. I like to say and live with this;

“Let the magical stand up to the practical.”

All the wonderfull and terrible things blended together serve as fuel for all our transformations.”

I welcome your heart joining me in this time, and I welcome your soul movementsboth in regression and progression– and your bright beatific buoyancy in the moments that arise, and for the tender tears that we can all cry together.

See you Saturday and after Saturday and for all the Saturdays we may have.



Faster Moving Miracles

Faster Moving Miracles

As most of us are now “sheltering in place” or will be soon, let us remember that we are each a miracle, on our way to a miracle, living in a miraculous world. 

Of course it doesn’t always feel like this at all.

Especially right now and after right now and then later too. 

It also feels like terror, loss, fear, sadness, loneliness, despair, shame, resistance, intolerance, hopelessness and absence of the familiar.

All of our disowned, barely felt or barricaded feelings are rising up to be seen, known and loved now. 

We do this by feeling it all, by including all of the feelings in our emotional families, and giving them room to soften and change shape with our love

We are in the most mighty compassion expanding time of all times, and as fast as the virus is moving, the miracles are moving faster. 

Let’s notice and name some miracles!

The more we do this, the more they will show up.

Creativity is at an all time high, as EVERYone moves to meet the new times.

Musicians are doing impromptu concerts from their homes, authors and artists are holding book readings and virtual art classes, and many parents are home schooling when they thought they never would, or could.

We are all being schooled in taking care of our home earth now. Polluted skies are clearing, dolphin are leaping in the Venice canals, and it’s as if the earth is breathing deeply.

And of course I’m honoring and acknowledging that there is also great despair, pain, terror, death and suffering during these times too. The miracles are woven within, and our hearts are opening to feel and experience it all.

May our love be infinitely visible throughout.

One of our biggest miracle resources is humans- and they’re creating, sharing, and offering every kind of gift, service and type of information during this time.

Thank you for being a human reading these words and moving your soul and heart forward as we all create a new world together.

Jennifer Mullins Williams compiled this list with sources-thank you dear Jennifer!

-China has CLOSED down its last coronavirus hospital. NOT enough new cases to support them.

– Doctors in India have been SUCCESSFUL in treating Coronavirus. Combination of drugs used: Lopinavir, Retonovir, Oseltamivir along with Chlorphenamine. They are going to suggest same medicine, GLOBALLY.

– Researchers of the Erasmus Medical Center claim to have FOUND an ANTIBODY against coronavirus.

– Cleveland Clinic developed a COVID-19 test that gives RESULTS in HOURS, not days.

– Good news from South Korea, where the number of new cases is DECLINING.

– Italy is hit hard, experts say, because they have the oldest population in Europe.

– Scientists in Israel likely to announce the development of a coronavirus VACCINE.

– A network of Canadian scientists are making excellent PROGRESS in Covid-19 research.

– A San Diego biotech company is developing a Covid-19 VACCINE in collaboration with Duke University and National University of Singapore.

– Tulsa County’s first positive COVID-19 case has RECOVERED. This individual has had two NEGATIVE tests, which is the indicator of recovery.

– Plasma from newly RECOVERED patients from Covid -19 can TREAT OTHERS infected by Covid-19.

Here’s to more mighty miracles gathering for us all to see and know- let us name and celebrate them, and invite more.

Thank you to everybody, especially health care workers, nurses, doctors and anyone working to be of service so that our services continue.

May we all practice applied patience, the art of letting go and build even more resilience along our way. Let us participate in building abundance more than participating in scare-city. 

Let us love and be loving as often as possible, and in that way, create more love to share.



p.s. The art is from my new series of paintings about deeply grieving while wildly living~ 

A Better Relationship with Fear

A Better Relationship with Fear

My fears are very active these days.

There is a lot to be afraid of and people to be afraid for.

These multitudinous fears jostle for position, for my attention.

They clamor for my complete attention.

I used to try to avoid or resist my fears.

For a number of years I tried to control my fears by attempting to control the environment that seemed to produce them

I heard messages like these incessantly inside my head:

“If only I could…”

“If only he/she/they would or wouldn’t….”

“If we had just planned better….”

“If only this didn’t cause…”

“Oh no! Not THIS!”

Then for awhile I tried squashing my fears into some kind of containment– by placating, pleasing or otherwise untruthfull behaviors.

Listing all of my fears kind of worked, although the fears seemed to multiply faster than I could make note of them.

I tried just accepting them, and that worked until new varieties sprang up to capture again- my complete attention, leaving me to feel consumed by the fears.

Fears and their cousins worries, eventually moved in and wildly acted out with each new affront.

I finally realized some years ago that it was best to live primarily in the marvelous messy middle and stay out of the extremes with my feelings. This involved welcoming and allowing ALL the feelings in my emotional family- including my fears.

I tried to be friends with my fears, until I realized that they didn’t meet my friendship requirements, the most important being kindness and truthfulness. Fears most often responded by being unkind and lying.

I then informed my fears that while we couldn’t be friends, that I would practice allowing them. This allowing takes the form of my listening to my fears under supervised visits, giving them love, and no longer letting them run my life or my mind.

This actually worked. By including all my feelings in my emotional family, I’m now able to fully feel them, give them love and integrate them into my life in ways that allows for a LOT more calm and ease, and allows me to help others do that too. I practice with my feelings care methods daily and that has shifted EVERYthing in my emotional life.

I went on to establish new and better relationships with all of my feelings.

I released my feelings of shame where I had duct taped them in the basement to try to silence them.

I welcomed my worries and stopped trying to stop them. Then of course I worried about THAT. Worries are incessantly active in the negative- they can’t help it.

I invited anxiety to tea and discovered that it had lots to anxiously say about EVERYthing, and anxiety informed me that I hadn’t really listened in a long time, well maybe really never….

My fears informed me that I had better get and stay prepared, because there are worse things than I had ever imagined that could and would happen- especially if I don’t stay:


(Fears can get very active and agitated, and they love to take up all the space and air until they feel heard- once heard, they will soften and change shape.)

How’s your relationship with fear? How do you relate to your life and the world with regard to it? Sending fear softening and love expansion to us all. Leave a note 🎶 if I can reduce the fearing and add some loving to your life, or if you’d just like to say hi~

Fear feeds on the unknown and lives primarily OUT of the present moment.

Ask yourself “How am I in this moment?”

And then ask again, until your nervous system calms. Ask to be shown ways to help yourself and others release from fears.

Fears will settle right down with some simple attention. Say out loud or under your breath, “Fear, I see you, I hear you, I acknowledge you.”

This will allow fears to soften and change shape. In that shape changing and softening comes relief. In that relief you can breathe deeper and feel more love flowing.

Here are a few other (mostly free) resources: 

Watch the movie Inside Out
Feelings and emotions are brought to life in the most innovative and creative ways, causing the viewer to expand their feelings capacities.

Let yourself laugh heartily while watching this gem with Bob Newhart

Listen to these sounds and more easily let go of fears, worries and overthinking. 852 Hz 

Do this simple 5-minute tai chi routine to support and calm your nervous system

Here’s a great 2 minute video on breathing for calming and receiving from Steve Sisgold- author, speaker and Whole Body Intelligence Coach

Consider doing EMDR
Due to current circumstances, Valerie Tate is now offering EMDR Online! 

(Free consult via video)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing is an integrative psychotherapy approach that has been extensively researched and proven effective for the treatment of trauma or persistent thought patterns that are affecting you in day to day life. It is used for phobias, traumatic events or fears.

I HIGHLY recommend this modality, Valerie’s skills, and how quickly it can cause positive changes. Read More HERE

Practice EFT
I’ve utilized EFT for years, and it’s superb for easily and quickly shifting your emotional state. You can download Stephanie’s FREE course HERE.

EFT is a highly effective self healing technique, implemented by gently tapping along Meridian end points on the face and body. When we experience fear, our bodies release stress chemicals. EFT has been proven to turn off the fight or flight response, calm the nervous system and promote healthy energy flow, returning you to a state of feeling safe and grounded. 

Donna Eden’s Energy Medicine Programs
This work is simple, PROFOUND and life changing- I practice it daily. There is a fabulous directory of practitioners and lots of free resources for you to explore- simple 1-2 minute ways to shift your energy from fear to love and expand your innate vitality and health.

Call me on my Inspiration Phone line a free 24 hour phone line I’ve offered for over 25 years. It’s real, loving and calming, and it’s there for you:
415 546 3742

Whatever ways you choose to practice, keep choosing and practicing and be an embodied example for others.

Here’s to less fearing and more loving,


p.s. I LOVE playing around on Instagram! You can find me there SARKifying life.

Practicing Seeing with Eyes of Love Through the Heart

Practicing Seeing with Eyes of Love Through the Heart

Happy Fabulous February! My beloved David and I have been together 20 months now- yes we’re still counting months;-)

My goddaughter Vanessa remarked that one of her favorite things I’ve written about our relationship is something I named the “sponge differential”.

Early on, I discovered David’s and my differing sponge habits.

One of us doesn’t wring the sponge out or put it back in the same spot, the other of us has a little “bed” that the sponge lies down in, having been wrung out.

This resulted in various moments of mild frustration. So, we created a joyfull solution and got 2 sponges!

Of course, this is a tiny and truly inconsequential difference- and yet it can be one of those daily annoyances that builds over time and can highlight other habits or preferences that one wishes to change about oneself or another.

And since the only person you can ever change is yourself, we practice love translations– where you see your partner- and everyone else- with eyes of love, instead of critical eyes. Practice is the operative word here.

It’s simple and it works to keep the love flowing. It isn’t always easy to practice.

How do you experience differences in your loving relationships? What practices do you utilize? I’ll love to hear.

Once we got 2 sponges and the annoyance was solved, guess what?

We started using the same sponge!

We’re now a one sponge family. And sometimes it’s wrung out, sometimes not, and it lives all over the place. Solving this tiny difference allowed us to solve and change other things too, and we are practicing consistently.

Here are some of our other favorite ways of practicing seeing with eyes of love:

Add the words “just like me” at the end of every criticizing sentence you proclaim about your partner, friend or someone else. It works remarkably well to draw your attention back to the primary source of change, which, of course, is YOU.

Practice sharing your “micro truths”– those tiny upsetting things you would really rather not say- it will result in your feeling closer and more emotionally available and loving to yourself and others.

Play and experiment with creating “joyfull solutions” which go beyond compromise, and create a way for both people to get what they want and feel loving while they do!

I wrote a book with my fiancé Dr. John Waddell (who transitioned to the non-physical in 2016) called Succulent Wild Love: Six Powerful Habits For Feeling More Love More Often

These concepts and others are lovingly detailed and described in the book.

You can get it in paperback HERE

Or you can get it in digital HERE


Our eyes of love, of course, originate in the heart, as Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, author of the Little Prince wrote:

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye”



The Real Kind of “Rock Around the Clock”

The Real Kind of “Rock Around the Clock”

I used to stare so hard at the clock in school and pray for the hands to tick past faster. I was being abused in my family and didn’t get much sleep staying up at night to try and protect myself. Then I grew up and started healing from those kinds of experiences, and started creating my own kind of clocks- which felt much better- and my kind of time was my own to create I invented and use something I call the time stretcher– to call in when I want time to stretch out and elongate, good for things like lovemaking and eating delicious food.  And the time shrinker– to call in when I want time to shrink and compress, good for things like the dentist and long plane flights.  One time, I created and sold SARK watches that had words instead of numbers, and those words were randomly repeated; eat, nap, play, love. We couldn’t keep them in stock.  What kinds of time do you want to create in this new decade? Let me know a word or two in the comments, and we’ll play time creating together Mine are: spacious and easy As I continued healing, growing and changing, I began to want more benevolent kinds of time.  Here’s what I came up with.  What do your hands of time say?  And does time have feet? 🤣 Love,


p.s. if you heard that I’m teaching a 2 day online video reTREAT next weekend- it’s TRUE! It’s a Revolution of Love and Joy Sat/18 & Sun/19 and it welcomes the new & old you, and offers upgrades and additions. You can SIGN UP HERE.

NEWest Year Blessing

NEWest Year Blessing

Start NOW or forever hold your pieces.

Because of course, it is always now. 

I’m inviting you to attend to yourself at my 2-day NEW Year’s Revolution of Love and Joy ReTREAT! It’s on video, online and you can sign up HERE.

“The opposite of old is not young. 

The opposite of old is new. As long as we can experience the new, we will gloriously inhabit all of the ages that we are, and welcome all of the dreams that we have” 

I created these words to inspire myself to allow and practice the NEW as much as I sometimes try to cling to whatever is more familiar and perhaps not my most alive choice. 

The most alive choice often feels scary- fizzy or makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. This is where your creative dreams live

Bless this newest Year. Bring the oldest you along. 

If you want a truly NEW year, become the newest oldest you, and blend the two together and go forward with ALL of you, and let us all see and know that you

Let me know one thing you are feeling afraid of and one thing you are reveling in. 

I’m afraid of anxiety running wild & I’m blending and alchemizing these experiences and others into my “marvelous messy middle” life. 

I’m reveling in the explorations of my soul, and drenching myself in what fills my soul as much as possible

What is one of your fears and one of your revelings? 

In this year, may you rediscover and experience all the wisdom that you gathered last year, and apply it again freshly and fully and newly this year. 

If you became an activist, deepen it. If you resisted activism, let yourself soften and see what kind actually fits you. 

If you tried and failed at something, congratulate yourself for reaching and readjust your approach. Tune your vision to receive in new ways. 

If you wanted and it was not given, ask, ask again differently and practice receiving

If you felt furious, heartsick, lonely, despairing, frightened or baffled, thank you for being human

If you felt euphoric, joyfilled, satisfied, successfull, resolved and complete, share it

Happy happy NEWEST Year and blessings to all the other ones too~




Time and time aGAIN

Time and time aGAIN


The dance of self caring swirls endlessly around us all, and as we care for ourselves, we can care for others

I think that self care and self love often get misconstrued as selfish, or misunderstood as being primarily about manicures and bubble baths- both of those are good- they’re just not the whole story. I call it “exquisite self care” and sometimes it will feel everything but exquisite.

I believe that self caring is actually a fierce opportunity and ultimately necessary to grow, change, and love in mature ways.

It involves telling and hearing “microtruths“ (those tiny things we’d often rather avoid saying- or hearing) from ourselves and others, and doing things we sometimes don’t feel like doing, in order to GROW

Growth is messy and doesn’t always feel marvelous or easy. As we navigate all of our feelings, we will encounter the opposites of self caring, and the difficult passages of self destruction- and self care is especially valuable there too. We are all doing the best we can at any given moment, and there will be many regressions and setbacks along the way

And when you add in the sheer maintenance involved in ongoing exquisite self care, it’s truly amazing that anyone can actually do it, and keep doing it. 

And so, we stumble and flail and forget and remember, and forget again. That’s why it’s called PRACTICE. 

As we approach the NEW year, know that the time for self caring can seem to get scooped up by outside activities. What’s a way that you can create some time for practicing your own self caring? Let me know and we’ll uplift and remind each other.

I’ve been setting reminders for doing what I call “tiny yoga”- 5 minutes at a time, and am loving how easy it feels. 

Self hugging is one of my primary self caring tools. 

To receive the full benefit, set a timer for a minute or two, and wrap yourself up in a big hug and hold yourself fully and deeply. Kiss your arms and shoulders as you say endearing and loving words to yourself. I know, it sounds funny or self indulgent, and it REALLY WORKS to create endorphins and other “feel good” chemicals in your body. 

If you’re feeling particularly scared, anxious or alone, you can rock back and forth while hugging yourself and say out loud, “I’m right here, I’m right here” over and over until your nervous system calms down. 

Be willing to stop, quit or give up sooner- without guilt

We are all often scurrying around doing many things, with no thoughts of self caring until depletion occurs. All of a sudden we feel tired, hungry, thirsty or crabby. By then, it’s challenging to apply self care. If you can stop sooner before depletion occurs, you’ll be able to rest, breathe and resume your activities in good spirits.

If you can practice resting without guilt, that’s even better. 

Apply appreciation and love LAVISHLY

David and I play fun games often like “do you want to talk about how much we love each other?” And then we each speak a fast list in detail about how much we appreciate and love the other. If one of us doesn’t feel like offering, they focus on receiving. We also play “great job” where we each appreciate the other in detail for all the tiny and large things they’ve done or been recently. 

Both of these games can be played soulfully solo as well. 

Let me know one of two of your self caring practices and I’ll add it to my ever growing library



P.S. I’m inviting you to attend to yourself at my 2 day NEW Year’s Revolution of Love and Joy ReTREAT! It’s on video, online and you can sign up HERE.

Christmas & Every Holiday Miracle is YOU

Christmas & Every Holiday Miracle is YOU


Our very lives are miracles and we consistently forget this. I think we forget partly so that we can experience the blessing of remembering. 

The remembering comes in rushes of sweetness as a fever breaks, a flat tire is changed, a hand is extended, a lost is found, a grace is delivered, as lips are kissed, in the rushing, tripping, creeping racing, plodding, crawling and soaring times. In all the times

I send you this remembering in every way and in every kind of time, in every way. 

May we paste this awareness in the tip-top of our consciousness as we cry, celebrate, create, quit, sob, laugh, resist, allow, give, receive and be alive with ourselves and others

I wish you a merry Christmas or whatever holiday is meaningfull to you and every kind of merry there is.

Merry merry life living life through you.

I send you miracles in every form and remind you to ask for them. Ask, ask again, ask differently. 

If the answers appear absent, ask again that they will be given, and tune your vision to see and receive them. 

Our lives are miraculous and so are you

In your all-someness, let your light and dark be seen and shown, especially if you feel particularly alone or afraid. Share what hurts and what heals, allow others to hear and see you in the midst of whatever “it” is. 

We are each beacons, we are luminous beyond physical eyes, we are rare and radiant and ordinary miracles, walking around mostly on legs, or other kinds of transport. 

Let yourself be uplifted and seen in your full self, and when you don’t want to, see yourself. See yourself curled tenderly towards self-love, as your most basic unshiny self, without a cell phone, or other equipment. Breathe softly into your heart and sigh with relief

You are home in yourself all-ways



What’s Yours?

What’s Yours?

Here’s a colorfull SARK reMINDer about your creative dreams. This is a sign specifically for you


Remember- you are never too late, or too old, or too anything– to make your creative dreams real, and they don’t ever leave you- you sometimes leave them. 

You can begin again anytime

One of the best ever things you can do for yourself and the world is to make your creative dreams REAL

What’s a dream of yours that keeps nudging or knocking? You might have dreams from long ago that want to be seen- let them out

Creative dreams need a human channel to be brought to earth, and that channel is YOU

What’s yours? 

I’m immensely satisfied by so many things. Some might say that I’m easily pleased, and if so, I’m GLAD.

It might also be said that I’m easily annoyed, and I’m working on that 🙂 

What satisfied me most recently was my willingness to heal from my ankle break over the summer, and to receive help from so many angels and illuminators. 

What surprised me was how I could literally be removed from my usual movements, and create new ones. 

My “wake up fall” reunited me with my dream of painting again, and that I had slowed down enough to see and feel it. 

What dreams are awaiting you with surprise and satisfaction? Let me know and I will eagerly read and surround you and your dream(s) with effervescent radiance




I Have a Confession

I Have a Confession

Since the love button came out on FB, I’ve rarely used anything else. I dreamed of that button for years after FB started, and am so happy to now have it. I love to think of everyone contributing so much love as they read or respond

I believe that our collective dreamings and doings cause great things to happen

I remember telling my grandfather (I called him Boppa) of my dream to be a writer, and he responded by having a tiny playhouse built for me that was delivered to my backyard! 

It had sliding glass windows, a linoleum floor, Dutch doors, and electricity! I can still smell the wood

I wrote my first book that summer. 

Then I told my mom about my dream to be a beacon of hope writing books for the world

She bought me the biggest box of crayons in the neighborhood and made me the best peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to bring up into my apple tree fort, where I was when I wasn’t in my playhouse. 

That dream held steady as I lived a wild life and did everything in my power to resist its call, until I finally burst out 25 years after writing my first book, by starting to write all the books that lived inside of me

I think of dreams being made real like a call and response- we ASK in some way, the world delivers in some way

The asking can be wobbly and uncertain, the delivery may come in forms other than what we originally thought, and still, dreams are delivered. 

What dreams are you dreaming? I’d love to know and hold the vision of you receiving them~ 

After my fiancé John died in 2016, I asked for another great love. When it hadn’t arrived by 2018, I gave up asking. I felt like that asking was just so NEEDY and ineffective. Mostly I just didn’t believe it would ever happen, and it hurt too much to think that it might not. 

So many feelings get activated when we ASK

All the negatively slanted WHAT IF’s march forward to be seen and felt. 

All the inner critics rise up to remind about the complete impossibility of the dreams

Well-meaning people try to help, and their advice falls far short of our dreamings. 

Then sometimes we can ASK AGAIN, which I did in the form of going to a love class, and hiring a love coach. 

These were wonder-full experiences and didn’t deliver the actual living breathing great love into my life

So I ASKED DIFFERENTLY and wrote and shared something called “I’m dating the world,” and the world delivered the best possible actual living breathing great love into my life

His name is David and we’ve been together a year & a half, and so happily living together for a year in San Francisco. 

And all the love in the world is reflected through him, and through me, and we are able to share that love everywhere we go, in everything we do

And when we forget, we practice realigning to the love that is always there

Love, love ever love,



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