Practicing Seeing with Eyes of Love Through the Heart

Practicing Seeing with Eyes of Love Through the Heart

Happy Fabulous February! My beloved David and I have been together 20 months now- yes we’re still counting months;-)

My goddaughter Vanessa remarked that one of her favorite things I’ve written about our relationship is something I named the “sponge differential”.

Early on, I discovered David’s and my differing sponge habits.

One of us doesn’t wring the sponge out or put it back in the same spot, the other of us has a little “bed” that the sponge lies down in, having been wrung out.

This resulted in various moments of mild frustration. So, we created a joyfull solution and got 2 sponges!

Of course, this is a tiny and truly inconsequential difference- and yet it can be one of those daily annoyances that builds over time and can highlight other habits or preferences that one wishes to change about oneself or another.

And since the only person you can ever change is yourself, we practice love translations– where you see your partner- and everyone else- with eyes of love, instead of critical eyes. Practice is the operative word here.

It’s simple and it works to keep the love flowing. It isn’t always easy to practice.

How do you experience differences in your loving relationships? What practices do you utilize? I’ll love to hear.

Once we got 2 sponges and the annoyance was solved, guess what?

We started using the same sponge!

We’re now a one sponge family. And sometimes it’s wrung out, sometimes not, and it lives all over the place. Solving this tiny difference allowed us to solve and change other things too, and we are practicing consistently.

Here are some of our other favorite ways of practicing seeing with eyes of love:

Add the words “just like me” at the end of every criticizing sentence you proclaim about your partner, friend or someone else. It works remarkably well to draw your attention back to the primary source of change, which, of course, is YOU.

Practice sharing your “micro truths”– those tiny upsetting things you would really rather not say- it will result in your feeling closer and more emotionally available and loving to yourself and others.

Play and experiment with creating “joyfull solutions” which go beyond compromise, and create a way for both people to get what they want and feel loving while they do!

I wrote a book with my fiancé Dr. John Waddell (who transitioned to the non-physical in 2016) called Succulent Wild Love: Six Powerful Habits For Feeling More Love More Often

These concepts and others are lovingly detailed and described in the book.

You can get it in paperback HERE

Or you can get it in digital HERE


Our eyes of love, of course, originate in the heart, as Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, author of the Little Prince wrote:

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye”



The Real Kind of “Rock Around the Clock”

The Real Kind of “Rock Around the Clock”

I used to stare so hard at the clock in school and pray for the hands to tick past faster. I was being abused in my family and didn’t get much sleep staying up at night to try and protect myself. Then I grew up and started healing from those kinds of experiences, and started creating my own kind of clocks- which felt much better- and my kind of time was my own to create I invented and use something I call the time stretcher– to call in when I want time to stretch out and elongate, good for things like lovemaking and eating delicious food.  And the time shrinker– to call in when I want time to shrink and compress, good for things like the dentist and long plane flights.  One time, I created and sold SARK watches that had words instead of numbers, and those words were randomly repeated; eat, nap, play, love. We couldn’t keep them in stock.  What kinds of time do you want to create in this new decade? Let me know a word or two in the comments, and we’ll play time creating together Mine are: spacious and easy As I continued healing, growing and changing, I began to want more benevolent kinds of time.  Here’s what I came up with.  What do your hands of time say?  And does time have feet? 🤣 Love,


p.s. if you heard that I’m teaching a 2 day online video reTREAT next weekend- it’s TRUE! It’s a Revolution of Love and Joy Sat/18 & Sun/19 and it welcomes the new & old you, and offers upgrades and additions. You can SIGN UP HERE.

NEWest Year Blessing

NEWest Year Blessing

Start NOW or forever hold your pieces.

Because of course, it is always now. 

I’m inviting you to attend to yourself at my 2-day NEW Year’s Revolution of Love and Joy ReTREAT! It’s on video, online and you can sign up HERE.

“The opposite of old is not young. 

The opposite of old is new. As long as we can experience the new, we will gloriously inhabit all of the ages that we are, and welcome all of the dreams that we have” 

I created these words to inspire myself to allow and practice the NEW as much as I sometimes try to cling to whatever is more familiar and perhaps not my most alive choice. 

The most alive choice often feels scary- fizzy or makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. This is where your creative dreams live

Bless this newest Year. Bring the oldest you along. 

If you want a truly NEW year, become the newest oldest you, and blend the two together and go forward with ALL of you, and let us all see and know that you

Let me know one thing you are feeling afraid of and one thing you are reveling in. 

I’m afraid of anxiety running wild & I’m blending and alchemizing these experiences and others into my “marvelous messy middle” life. 

I’m reveling in the explorations of my soul, and drenching myself in what fills my soul as much as possible

What is one of your fears and one of your revelings? 

In this year, may you rediscover and experience all the wisdom that you gathered last year, and apply it again freshly and fully and newly this year. 

If you became an activist, deepen it. If you resisted activism, let yourself soften and see what kind actually fits you. 

If you tried and failed at something, congratulate yourself for reaching and readjust your approach. Tune your vision to receive in new ways. 

If you wanted and it was not given, ask, ask again differently and practice receiving

If you felt furious, heartsick, lonely, despairing, frightened or baffled, thank you for being human

If you felt euphoric, joyfilled, satisfied, successfull, resolved and complete, share it

Happy happy NEWEST Year and blessings to all the other ones too~




Time and time aGAIN

Time and time aGAIN


The dance of self caring swirls endlessly around us all, and as we care for ourselves, we can care for others

I think that self care and self love often get misconstrued as selfish, or misunderstood as being primarily about manicures and bubble baths- both of those are good- they’re just not the whole story. I call it “exquisite self care” and sometimes it will feel everything but exquisite.

I believe that self caring is actually a fierce opportunity and ultimately necessary to grow, change, and love in mature ways.

It involves telling and hearing “microtruths“ (those tiny things we’d often rather avoid saying- or hearing) from ourselves and others, and doing things we sometimes don’t feel like doing, in order to GROW

Growth is messy and doesn’t always feel marvelous or easy. As we navigate all of our feelings, we will encounter the opposites of self caring, and the difficult passages of self destruction- and self care is especially valuable there too. We are all doing the best we can at any given moment, and there will be many regressions and setbacks along the way

And when you add in the sheer maintenance involved in ongoing exquisite self care, it’s truly amazing that anyone can actually do it, and keep doing it. 

And so, we stumble and flail and forget and remember, and forget again. That’s why it’s called PRACTICE. 

As we approach the NEW year, know that the time for self caring can seem to get scooped up by outside activities. What’s a way that you can create some time for practicing your own self caring? Let me know and we’ll uplift and remind each other.

I’ve been setting reminders for doing what I call “tiny yoga”- 5 minutes at a time, and am loving how easy it feels. 

Self hugging is one of my primary self caring tools. 

To receive the full benefit, set a timer for a minute or two, and wrap yourself up in a big hug and hold yourself fully and deeply. Kiss your arms and shoulders as you say endearing and loving words to yourself. I know, it sounds funny or self indulgent, and it REALLY WORKS to create endorphins and other “feel good” chemicals in your body. 

If you’re feeling particularly scared, anxious or alone, you can rock back and forth while hugging yourself and say out loud, “I’m right here, I’m right here” over and over until your nervous system calms down. 

Be willing to stop, quit or give up sooner- without guilt

We are all often scurrying around doing many things, with no thoughts of self caring until depletion occurs. All of a sudden we feel tired, hungry, thirsty or crabby. By then, it’s challenging to apply self care. If you can stop sooner before depletion occurs, you’ll be able to rest, breathe and resume your activities in good spirits.

If you can practice resting without guilt, that’s even better. 

Apply appreciation and love LAVISHLY

David and I play fun games often like “do you want to talk about how much we love each other?” And then we each speak a fast list in detail about how much we appreciate and love the other. If one of us doesn’t feel like offering, they focus on receiving. We also play “great job” where we each appreciate the other in detail for all the tiny and large things they’ve done or been recently. 

Both of these games can be played soulfully solo as well. 

Let me know one of two of your self caring practices and I’ll add it to my ever growing library



P.S. I’m inviting you to attend to yourself at my 2 day NEW Year’s Revolution of Love and Joy ReTREAT! It’s on video, online and you can sign up HERE.

Christmas & Every Holiday Miracle is YOU

Christmas & Every Holiday Miracle is YOU


Our very lives are miracles and we consistently forget this. I think we forget partly so that we can experience the blessing of remembering. 

The remembering comes in rushes of sweetness as a fever breaks, a flat tire is changed, a hand is extended, a lost is found, a grace is delivered, as lips are kissed, in the rushing, tripping, creeping racing, plodding, crawling and soaring times. In all the times

I send you this remembering in every way and in every kind of time, in every way. 

May we paste this awareness in the tip-top of our consciousness as we cry, celebrate, create, quit, sob, laugh, resist, allow, give, receive and be alive with ourselves and others

I wish you a merry Christmas or whatever holiday is meaningfull to you and every kind of merry there is.

Merry merry life living life through you.

I send you miracles in every form and remind you to ask for them. Ask, ask again, ask differently. 

If the answers appear absent, ask again that they will be given, and tune your vision to see and receive them. 

Our lives are miraculous and so are you

In your all-someness, let your light and dark be seen and shown, especially if you feel particularly alone or afraid. Share what hurts and what heals, allow others to hear and see you in the midst of whatever “it” is. 

We are each beacons, we are luminous beyond physical eyes, we are rare and radiant and ordinary miracles, walking around mostly on legs, or other kinds of transport. 

Let yourself be uplifted and seen in your full self, and when you don’t want to, see yourself. See yourself curled tenderly towards self-love, as your most basic unshiny self, without a cell phone, or other equipment. Breathe softly into your heart and sigh with relief

You are home in yourself all-ways



What’s Yours?

What’s Yours?

Here’s a colorfull SARK reMINDer about your creative dreams. This is a sign specifically for you


Remember- you are never too late, or too old, or too anything– to make your creative dreams real, and they don’t ever leave you- you sometimes leave them. 

You can begin again anytime

One of the best ever things you can do for yourself and the world is to make your creative dreams REAL

What’s a dream of yours that keeps nudging or knocking? You might have dreams from long ago that want to be seen- let them out

Creative dreams need a human channel to be brought to earth, and that channel is YOU

What’s yours? 

I’m immensely satisfied by so many things. Some might say that I’m easily pleased, and if so, I’m GLAD.

It might also be said that I’m easily annoyed, and I’m working on that 🙂 

What satisfied me most recently was my willingness to heal from my ankle break over the summer, and to receive help from so many angels and illuminators. 

What surprised me was how I could literally be removed from my usual movements, and create new ones. 

My “wake up fall” reunited me with my dream of painting again, and that I had slowed down enough to see and feel it. 

What dreams are awaiting you with surprise and satisfaction? Let me know and I will eagerly read and surround you and your dream(s) with effervescent radiance




I Have a Confession

I Have a Confession

Since the love button came out on FB, I’ve rarely used anything else. I dreamed of that button for years after FB started, and am so happy to now have it. I love to think of everyone contributing so much love as they read or respond

I believe that our collective dreamings and doings cause great things to happen

I remember telling my grandfather (I called him Boppa) of my dream to be a writer, and he responded by having a tiny playhouse built for me that was delivered to my backyard! 

It had sliding glass windows, a linoleum floor, Dutch doors, and electricity! I can still smell the wood

I wrote my first book that summer. 

Then I told my mom about my dream to be a beacon of hope writing books for the world

She bought me the biggest box of crayons in the neighborhood and made me the best peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to bring up into my apple tree fort, where I was when I wasn’t in my playhouse. 

That dream held steady as I lived a wild life and did everything in my power to resist its call, until I finally burst out 25 years after writing my first book, by starting to write all the books that lived inside of me

I think of dreams being made real like a call and response- we ASK in some way, the world delivers in some way

The asking can be wobbly and uncertain, the delivery may come in forms other than what we originally thought, and still, dreams are delivered. 

What dreams are you dreaming? I’d love to know and hold the vision of you receiving them~ 

After my fiancé John died in 2016, I asked for another great love. When it hadn’t arrived by 2018, I gave up asking. I felt like that asking was just so NEEDY and ineffective. Mostly I just didn’t believe it would ever happen, and it hurt too much to think that it might not. 

So many feelings get activated when we ASK

All the negatively slanted WHAT IF’s march forward to be seen and felt. 

All the inner critics rise up to remind about the complete impossibility of the dreams

Well-meaning people try to help, and their advice falls far short of our dreamings. 

Then sometimes we can ASK AGAIN, which I did in the form of going to a love class, and hiring a love coach. 

These were wonder-full experiences and didn’t deliver the actual living breathing great love into my life

So I ASKED DIFFERENTLY and wrote and shared something called “I’m dating the world,” and the world delivered the best possible actual living breathing great love into my life

His name is David and we’ve been together a year & a half, and so happily living together for a year in San Francisco. 

And all the love in the world is reflected through him, and through me, and we are able to share that love everywhere we go, in everything we do

And when we forget, we practice realigning to the love that is always there

Love, love ever love,



Be Still…And Let The Beauty Come

Be Still…And Let The Beauty Come

When I first painted this, I remember feeling aghast that the ink had run (it first autocorrected to say fun;-) down from the sitting being, and made a SPLOTCH. 

Then I calmed my inner perfectionist and let the beauty come. 

And now I love the running ink. 

Where do you experience similar AGHASTNESS and/or ACCEPTANCE? Let me know in the comments

Inner Critics will run your life in a negative way if you don’t help them to redirect

Redirect them using my Inner Critic One Step process. It’s fast & effective. 

You’ll notice that inner critics love to use words like always, never, should, and lots of exclamation points

I call these: Accusations

Here’s an example:

Inner Critic Accusation: 

You’ll never be able to have a good relationship!!! 

These kinds of accusations feel awful and often run continuously in the background of our minds, like a kind of ambient noise

You have the power to write a counter statement that will redirect an inner critic accusation. Use the word Actually to start– it establishes your power and sovereignty.

Here’s an example: 

Your counter statement: 

Actually, I have had many good relationships, and I am learning so much about love and practicing often and in new ways. I’m excited and inspired about my present and my future with love relationships. 

The point is not to argue with an inner critic, justify, defend or over explain. The object is to assert and establish yourself as the leader of your life in every area

Then you will be able to be still more often, and let the beauty come. 




Happy Thanks~Grieving While Wildly Living

Happy Thanks~Grieving While Wildly Living

Here we are in America, in Thanks~Giving time.

As you know, when we focus on gratitude, more gratitude can grow.

I also want to recognize the many people who have been, or are going through challenging times, who feel confused, alone, lost, or scared in the world today- which is all of us at one time or another.

And I want to share my love and transcendent wishes for people to be able to deeply grieve while wildly living. I see them both working together to move us forward like bird wings- and I offer this to us all as we live and alchemize the terrible and wonderfull things into a brand new mixture to use for healing. I am extremely appreciative of our loving community and I will be gratefull if you would add any others to my partial list in the comments below.

Here’s a VERY partial list of my recipients for healing.

I am sending love and transcendence to:

•All affected by wildfires, earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes and other planetary expressions
•All experiencing inner critics without supervision or translation
•All who feel unlovable, unloved or unseen
•All concerned, conflicted, despairing, frustrated and or fed up with political outcomes
•All who rise for social justice and keep rising
•All who know that the political is the personal
•All who go beyond the personal to a mighty vision for change
•All who think they can’t
•All who feel ignored, repressed, closed out, treated unkindly or unfairly
•All who experience racism
•All unaware of their racism
•All educating themselves and others about privilege, racism, and the immense necessary healings
•All who are other gendered and feel unknown
•All who judge
•All who feel and are judged unfairly
•All who are feeling suicidal
•All who are hiding or scared
•All who are ill or in pain in any form
•All disconnected from their wisdom and power
•All who fear
•All who fear fear
•All who deny, resist, avoid and repress their feelings
•All who refuse to face facts
•All who struggle against great obstacles to build a better world
•All who quit because of fear, doubt or worry
•All who cry alone unendingly
•All who try to stop or apologize for their tears
•All who experience violence from the hands or guns of another
•All who feel forgotten, misunderstood, or unseen
•All who are trapped, imprisoned or wrongly accused
•All who wonder why they’re here
•All who know why they’re here and yet sometimes despair at the time it will take to transform themselves and the world
•All who live and love and practice in the marvelous messy middle of life

All BEings

All ways

All the time.



Do Less, Be More

Do Less, Be More

We are all drawn into the hypnotic spell of doing

And certainly, things must be done. 

Sending us all more BEing in the midst of the doing

Which involves flowings, floatings, freeings, feelings, and FILLINGS

And the digesting and integrating of it ALL. Practice often.



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