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Stop 4 Care For Your Inner Critics

Care for Your Inner Critics: Those critics in your head are there to keep you safe – don’t fight them, rather give them new jobs, in other cities, and assure them that you and your Inner Wise Self have it handled.

To be completed, but is Video #2 and it’s worksheet – I have the times already documented. Dori Notes, not final: 1:16- 1:35, 1:49- 8:30, 9:36- 10:17, 10:44- 23:49, 23:54- 24:24)

 

Inner Critics are the “no-sayers” in your head that say your writing isn’t any good, or will never be published, isn’t as good as other writers, or will never get started at all.

Most people experience critical inner dialogue as they go about their lives. Writ- ers and creators can be particularly affected as they are navigating in their imag- ination, and in creative realms, and the “voices” of these Inner Critics can be fairly constant and disruptive.

“Inner Critics” develop in us while we’re young to try to keep us “safe” from harm. Then they grow out of proportion to what we need as adults. These Inner Critics are not bad, they are just parts, or aspects of us, in need of our love, care & redi- rection.

Whenever you do anything new- like more writing, or new ways of writing, it’s “prime time” for Inner Critics to come out. They get louder, larger and more active, at such times, because they get scared, and the only thing they can do is what they’ve always done- unless you help them to transform.

Luckily, you can help them to transform with new systems of care. These systems of care will allow your inner dialogue to be much more friendly and self-loving, and more writing will flow.

The idea is for you and your inner Wise Self to be in charge of your life, and your Inner Critics.

Here are some ways to handle Inner Critics:

1. Saying NO. Sometimes the most effective release from Inner Critics is to sepa- rate from their energy and say NO, loudly and firmly. Move yourself physically as you do this, and you might make a chopping downward motion with your hand as you say or shout NO.

2. Having them arrested or sent elsewhere. If Inner Critics are really acting out, you can imagine them being taken away and locked up. Or, you can invent a job, or vacation for them which gives them something else to do. Inner Critics need to work, or do something, but they don’t really care what they work on or do. If you don’t help to redirect them, they will work on your life.

3. Dialoguing or communicating with them. It is possible and transformative to communicate with these aspects or parts through dialogue, and set up a sys- tem so that they are no longer in charge. Through time and practice, they can become helpers or allies instead of critics. 

There is an entire body of work about this called Voice Dialogue.

To read more about the pioneering Voice Dialogue work of Dr’s Hal & Sidra Stone, go to http://www.delos-inc.com I highly recommend them and their work. There is a free library of information on their site also.

Note: I am not a licensed therapist or Voice Dialogue facilitator. I am a 30 year student, participant & creator of my own transformative systems that work well for me and others in these realms.

I created a process I call the 5 Point Process, where you activate and empower your inner Wise Self, and you and your inner Wise Self interview these Inner Crit- ics, get a list of their concerns and complaints, and transform them. You can find this support sheet in the archives at WINS.

Even doing this process once will significantly change your inner world and result in your being aware of the Inner Critics in your life and how they are affecting you and your writing.

Here are some abbreviated descriptions of the most common Inner Critics that will likely come up as you begin or continue to expand your writing practice and processes:

Pusher or Over Achiever:

No amount of writing is ever enough. This aspect pushes you to do more writing or anything to do with your writing- MORE- no matter what. And you are always behind or not producing what you’d hoped or expected.

Perfectionist:

Everything is constantly being polished and assessed for being “better,” and nothing is ever good enough, or quite good enough to share or show to anyone. Never good enough is the mantra.

Comparer:

Everyone else’s writing, output, process, success is better than yours. Every time. And every comparison finds you lacking in some way, often in excruciating detail.

Procrastinator:

If you complete any writing, it can be judged. Better not to start, or start later. Later rarely if ever, arrives. Rehearsing, planning incessantly thinking-without ever moving-are the trademarks of this aspect.

Hopeless:

What’s the point? Why begin at all? Who would ever read it? I tried before and failed. Nothing will ever work. It’s all pointless…..

See which Inner Critics seem to be the most active in your mind, and using your imagination, create new jobs or assignments for them, or for one of them. 

Let yourself get really creative or detailed. You can draw up a contract or agree- ment, write a letter to your critic, or do just an abbreviated sketch of what you think they might be doing.

Even thinking in these ways will make a difference.

The object is to redirect them, and give them something else to do, so they stay out of your writing life.

Note: They will likely try to sneak back, and when they do, just use your imagina- tion to “send” them back to their job or assignment.

Be sure to tailor the job or assignment to the specific Inner Critic that you’re transforming.

For example, a Pusher could never just lie around on a beach without some kind of “purpose.”

Here are some suggestions:

Pusher or Over Achiever:
*Owner of a international non profit

*Intensive CEO position in a corporation
*Year long spa vacation (that has a significant personal growth outcome)

Perfectionist:
*Supervisor at an egg factory to check for all broken eggs
*Air traffic controller
*Laboratory technician chief of safety operations

Comparer:
*World biographer comparing careers of all writers to each other
*Comparative mathematical analyst
*World weather person

Procrastinator:
*Nap & sleep expert
*Bed tester
*Head of the Later Foundation

Hopeless:
*Monk in a monastery
*Goat herder
*Zen Hospice Coordinator