Here’s my photo of Dr. Lissa Rankin & Tosha Silver, presenting for the book launch of The Fear Cure. They are so beautifull!
Release Your Fears About What “Everybody” Thinks & Fulfill Your Purpose
By Dr. Lissa Rankin
When I met SARK five years ago, she had just appeared on a morning TV show to promote her new book, and as she was getting into her car, her inner critics started lambasting her about what a crappy job she had done, beating her up about how she wasn’t good enough, shaming her for her poor performance. Now most people would just sit in their car, getting sucked into the vortex of a shame spiral as the inner critics got louder and made up more vicious stories. But not SARK! She saw a police officer sitting in his squad car on the other side of the parking lot, so pushing any fear to the side, she approached him and asked if he could help her.
“Depends on what it is,” he replied. To which SARK said, “Good boundaries.”
SARK explained that she was in the midst of getting attacked by a band of her inner critics and wondered if he would mind arresting them and carting them off to jail. He thought about it a minute, clearly wondering whether she was pulling his leg or belonged in a straitjacket. But noting her earnestness (and irresistible cuteness, of course), he decided to take a risk. He laughed and said: “Sure I can. I know about inner critics!”
Then he did a brave, kind thing. He opened the squad car door, escorted the inner critics into the back seat, and squealed off with sirens blaring. SARK felt a deep inner peace, knowing that her inner critics had been reassigned somewhere safer than her own mind.
Can you imagine how healing that must have been to her scared Small Self, the one that had just gotten beaten up by the inner critics?
When SARK told me this story, I thought, “OMG, this is the bravest woman I’ve ever met.” Not only was she brave enough to question the critics in her mind rather than taking their attack at face value. She was actually brave enough to bypass being afraid of what someone might think so she could ask a cop to help her take action!
I learned a crucial lessons from this story, and it wound up becoming fodder for my new book The Fear Cure: Cultivating Courage As Medicine For The Body, Mind & Soul. I also interviewed hundreds of other brave individuals to pick their brains, hearts, and bodies in order to cull from their wisdom what it means to let fear transform you so your natural courage can shine through.
The book includes all the scientific data proving that fear isn’t just an uncomfortable emotion that holds us back from following our purpose; it’s also a significant risk factor for heart disease, cancer, autoimmune disorders, diabetes, chronic pain conditions, and even the common cold. As a doctor, this epiphany about the link between fear and physical health led me down a wild rabbit hole that led me to birth this book about how fear can cure YOU if you’re willing to let it be your friend, pointing to all the areas in your life still in need of healing.
In addition to many other things, I learned one critical lesson from SARK’s story.
THE LESSON: Stop Fearing What “Everybody” Thinks
Instead of worrying about what “everybody” will think if we do something brave, try this exercise, excerpted from The Fear Cure.
COURAGE-CULTIVATING EXERCISE: Create Your New “Everybody”
1. Name your current Everybody. List the names of all the people whose judgment or approval you’re thinking of when you worry about what Everybody will think.
2. Notice whether these people model qualities you wish to emulate. Are they kind? Filled with integrity? Compassionate? Brave? Don’t judge these people, but do ask yourself whether you really value their opinions.
3. Choose your ideal Everybody. Perhaps some of the people in your current Everybody are there because you value and respect their counsel. If so, keep them! But if these people limit you more than they facilitate your growth, you can choose a brand-new Everybody. The good news is that you don’t even have to know these people personally. For that matter, they don’t even have to be alive.
You can call upon the wisdom of others, living or dead, whether you know them in the flesh or not. These may be real people who love and support you and have your best interests at heart. They may be authors who have written inspiring books, spiritual teachers living or dead, or even angels or deities. Choose six people who unconditionally encourage you and help you feel more brave.
4. Consult your new Everybody regularly. Ask for advice in meditation, in writing, in prayer, or in person whenever you need genuinely helpful guidance.
My Dare For You
What one thing would you do right now if you weren’t afraid what everybody thinks?
We’re all much braver than we’ve been conditioned to believe we are. Underneath the patterns and programs you inherited from your parents and our culture, you are SO courageous. So show us how big your brave is!
If you need help boosting your natural inborn courage, I created 5 courage-cultivating guided meditations with my musician friend Karen Drucker and included them in the Prescription For Courage Kit than you can download for free at TheFearCureBook.com as our gift to you. And if that doesn’t do the trick, there are 27 Courage-Cultivating practices in The Fear Cure intended to support your journey.
When you take the brave steps towards truly embodying your natural divinity, you not only pave the way for greater health in your body, your relationships, your work, your creativity, and your finances. You also make yourself available to be part of the gathering tribe shifting the consciousness of this planet so we can reclaim our rightful role as caretakers of Mother Gaia.