Happy Mother’s & Others Day

Happy Mother’s & Others Day

My mom was called Marvelous Marjorie. I named her that, and she initially resisted, thinking it might be thought of as bragging. Over time, she came to accept it and even introduced herself that way.
I profiled her in my book Succulent Wild Woman– which she read three times. We didn’t ever discuss what she thought about that book, but she informed me that SHE was the original Succulent Wild Woman, and she was certainly known as that among her friends.
She physically left in 2003, and her lifeprint glimmers on…… they leave us and yet they never do.

And, welcome to my holiday I’m calling Others Day, in addition to Mother’s Day.

This part is especially for everyone who isn’t a mother of physical children. For everyone who wanted to be, but didn’t or couldn’t. Or wanted to want to, but just didn’t.

For everyone who never wanted to be, but sometimes wishes there was a holiday for them too. For everyone OTHER than and in addition to, all the wonder~full mothers.

For everyone who helps mothers mother, and everyone who is behind the scenes for all the mothers and the children, and those that love them. For all the godmothers, aunts and uncles and all the mothering with animals too. And to all the others who don’t have names, or standard names. Here I am loving the amazing Alice, daughter of Annie & Kyle.

So here’s to a new holiday I’m calling Others Day, and of course it fits for Mothers too, because they are not only mothers mothering.

And here’s to the never mothers who relish the idea of being an other and the others of EVERY description who didn’t fit in, or didn’t play a role that everyone could see or understand.

Here’s to all of us unique, illuminated, astounding human BEANS, bouncing along and BEAMING our love, no matter what day it is, or what it’s called.

The holiday of “Happy Others Day” makes me smile, so of course I wanted to share it, and my love with you~

Love,

SARK

 

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The Magic of Connection

The Magic of Connection

Every day for more than 25 years, I’ve had the privilege of listening to the collective consciousness in the form of audio messages left on my Inspiration Phone Line. 415 546 3742. It’s available 24 hours a day and it’s one of my gifts to the world.

I originally created the line to connect and communicate with readers of my books, and it expanded to be anyone touched by the art, words and spirit of SARK.

The name SARK was given to me in 1982 by one of my “paper mentors,” the author Henry Miller. It’s an acronym for my name Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy. It’s also the form in which I receive and share my creative gifts with the world.

Every day on the Inspiration Line I hear from people from all over the world, calling to share their feelings, dreams, thoughts, tears, wishes, songs, prayers or just calling to ask me to witness some part of their lives or experience.

I invite people to listen to my outgoing message and hang up, or leave me a message at the end. Many people use the line as a bedtime ritual or morning way to uplift themselves.

I record my outgoing message when my Inner Wise Self advises me to do so, and I don’t plan what I’m going to say- so it’s always a surprise;-)

It’s so magical to connect with other souls in this way. Their “voiceprints” move me so deeply. Occasionally I call people back- there is no criteria for this- I just call when spirit moves me to.

Recently a young woman called to ask me to celebrate something with her- that she doesn’t have much family and she knew I’d be glad to hear about it.

She called to say that she’d been reading SARK for years and that had inspired her to create a life different than the one she had been living. She said, “I was working in a call center in a town in the desert and it just wasn’t my life. So I changed it! I contacted Disneyland and got hired! I’m moving back to the beach and to work at Disneyland, and I wanted to celebrate with someone, so I thought of you.”

I called her back and had the privilege of connecting deeply voice to voice.

After hearing that she’s also a novelist who was yearning to be in creative community, I invited her to be part of my Succulent Wild World membership so she can receive ongoing celebration and support.

I love the magic that happens when we can connect with each other. Here are some other morsels of GOODness about the Inspiration Line:

“Your books are like my soul inside turned out. I just discovered a Creative Companion. You and your book have reawakened my soul. I haven’t done anything creative for years because I always think it’s not the right time. Now is the right time & I am going to paint a painting I’ve already titled as JOY.”

A woman from South Carolina

“I’m so glad you read that poem by Mary Oliver about the peonies. You have no idea what this means to me, so I’ll tell you. My mother had just died, and before she did, told me that she would come to me in the form of peonies- that way I would know it was her.”

This was after I had been “supposed to” change the inspiration line message for weeks and hadn’t- which confirms that my Inner Wise Self always knows the “best” timing!

SARK & the Dalai Lama– a man called to say that he had met me 20 years ago & my smile had changed him, and that his two heroes are SARK & the Dalai Lama.

The art teacher & his whole class calling- a male teacher called to say they’d found my book a Creative Companion in a garbage bag in SF, had never heard of SARK. “We are all calling to say, shout and sing THANK YOU.”

Thank you for connecting with people and inspiring them- we are all inspiring you know, and we all have so much magic to share.

Love,

SARK

 

p.s. I also share magic over at Instagram, and invite you to join me there too ~ https://www.instagram.com/SARKifyLife

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I Celebrate This Soul Man…..

I Celebrate This Soul Man…..

Who entered my life like a cosmic comet of love on May 21 2018, and now becomes 58 earth years on Sunday the 28th of April.

Here we are playing under a bower of wisteria near our home. The scent under the bower is dizzying in its splendor.

And here’s a partial symphony of love and appreciation for David Lee Rotman:

His Dad recently said to him, “You’re the most thoughtful person I know.”

And I agree.

He lives, works and plays in this world as an Angel of Love, and has been studying and practicing being love and loving since he encountered and experienced significant difficulties decades ago.

He is willing to primarily be with despair, rage and depression, mine or his own, without trying to fix it. And for the times he tries to fix it, he usually recognizes it and stops.

He prays.

He is learning to love ALL of the feelings in his emotional family, and practices daily, and helps me to practice too.

I love his willingness, strength, kindness, ferocity, HUMOR, ease, patience, sexiness, tenderness, creativity and incandescent spirit.

Here’s some of what I’ve learned and relearned from him in this almost year together….

I’ve learned that I could experience more life and love than I ever thought possible.

I’ve learned that patience is less a virtue than a lived choice each day.

I’ve learned that love comes again and again, in every way.

I’ve relearned that expression of all feelings is essential for love to thrive and grow.

I’ve relearned that each day can be a celebration and recommitment to love.

I’ve learned that letting go is not giving up.

I’ve learned that orgasms are a creative engine.

I’ve learned that there are many ways to care for a kitchen sponge:-)

David, thank you for doing your deep psychological work and continuing to do this work. Thank you for not only taking chances, but making them. Thank you for creating a life that you could so completely share. Thank you for moving from Massachusetts to San Francisco do so. Thank you for so fully loving your mom, dad, children, brothers, their spouses and all of your relations.

Thank you for being a creative liver, thinker and be-er. Thank you for the ways you love(d) your grandmother Ida, so that I would know your heart. Thank you for dating the world as I do, and first calling the Inspiration Line (415 546 3742) all those years ago, and then again last May and asking me to call you back, and being so present for love when I did.

Thank you for being my lover, teacher, and partner on the “eternal playdate with the perfect playmate.” Thank you for being willing to love and be loved SO WELL.

Thank you for bringing even more life to my life and for being like a male version of me;)

Here’s to more and more love being created and shared, between us and with the world, as we continue on this magnificent and sometimes terrifying journey called life.

Thank you for blending and alchemizing the terrible and wonderfull right along with me, and creating brand new healing mixtures.

Thank you for the perfection of your soul and the many ways we both choose to grow and change, and to continue doing so.

Thank you for laughing so much and making me laugh so often and completely. Thank you for having meltdowns and flip outs of your own so that I can feel even more free to have mine.

Thank you for wanting to join my Succulent Wild World community and being so utterly happy in it.

Thank you for being a Succulent Wild MAN.

Cascading thank you’s for “Majoring in Susan Kennedy and minoring in SARK.”

Thank you for loving SARK as much as I do, and in some cases more.

Thank you for truly knowing my creative and spiritual gifts and helping me to nurture and nourish them so completely.

Thank you for always bringing fresh flowers for my art table.

Thank you for encouraging me to spend time with all of my beloveds and for me to take the time and space to be “self lovingly separate” and for doing this work yourself.

Thank you for your love beaming, glowing and growing in this world. It’s an honor and privilege to know you, and to love you and to be loved by you.

Love, everlove,

SARK

 

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Happy Birth Day BABY

Happy Birth Day BABY

April is my birthday month, April 19 is my birthday day, and as some of you know, I celebrate my birthday all month.

Here I am SAVORING life in April with 5 month old baby Alice, darling daring daughter of dear friends Annie & Kyle.

And I do so delight in alliteration;-)

In honor of being alive, I thought it would be fun to create a dancing alphabetical list of just 26 ways I love and appreciate this world and you. Of course it is not a complete list!

If you feel like sending me happy birthday blessings, I invite you to also add some ways you are loving and appreciating this world– I’d love to know, and thank you!

And whenEVER you might share a comment, you are not late, it is not belated, you are right now!

 

The Dancing Alphabetical List

 

A is for Alchemizing the terrible and wonderfull things into a brand new mixture we can more easily use for healing. And A is for Amazing people constantly creating, learning, laughing and loving. I’ve waited my whole life for this time of deva-station in the world to really teach us all the real meaning of living and loving. There are powerfull Devas creating the NEW in this station of our lives, divine beings among us, and the divinity in us, bringing new forms into being.

 

B is for Benevolence in its every form, like waves and tides constantly regenerating and creating energy.

 

C is for CREATIVITY swooning around the universe seeing new ways all-ways to surprise, support and sing us home.

 

D is for Delight daring us to find the joy in every little thing that we can, and share it mightily so that others may be delighted also. D is also for David, who has entered my life and heart with such heart opening love wonderment- I love you David!

 

E is for Energy filling us all in every instant so that we can fill ourselves in return, and create more to share with the world.

 

F is for Feelings which saturate every crevice of our humanity, calling us to our knees and to the heavens in tandem rhythm ribbons.

 

G is for God who is infinite in names and expressions of love.

 

H is for Humor leaping lovingly into all our moments of life, causing a trillable erupting sound called laughter to accompany us all, and escort us through the challenges.

 

I is for INsights arriving just when we need them.

 

J is for Juiciness in EVERY form- mangoes, peaches, people, possibilities and pleasures.

 

K is for Kindness which abides as a renewable energy source, filling and infilling our souls into infinity and adding grace to all our relationships.

 

L is for Loving which really is the whole point.

 

M is for Miracles- they love to be asked for and received!

 

N is for Naps that make the world go quiet.

 

O is for our Open Hearts that we choose to keep open so that we can continue giving and receiving.

 

P is for Presence to it all- for the gifts we can give to ourselves and others by simply being present to what is.

 

Q is for Quiet and all the blessings that flow from it as a result.
R is for Response-ability and the miracles that reveal themselves through our multitudinous responses.

 

S is for SARK who magically arrived in my life in 1982, and has allowed and inspired me to share an endless fountain of creativity with this world and every other dimension.

 

T is for Tenderness that surrounds our souls and inspires us to have, to hold and to cherish ourselves and this world.

 

U is for Understanding that all the differences are more chances to practice loving.

 

V is for Vibrations which we all feel and some see.

 

W is for Wonderfull and the fullness of wonder which swells our hearts and refills our souls and sends us swirling in such splendor.

 

X is for marking and making the spot visible- it’s the “You are here” in this world, and we are all right here.

 

Y is for YES in all of its incandescent forms, and yes to all the conscious No’s too.

 

Z is for tiny dancing Zebras, because we just need them.

  

Love,

SARK

 

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Neverending Love

Neverending Love

I remember when my mom died in 2003, someone sent me a little booklet, and in it there was a story that said something like, “as you cry at their departure, someone in heaven is rejoicing at their arrival.”

I appreciated the gift, and liked the general sentiment. Yet I had all sorts of difficulties reconciling my utter despair with picturing my mom going to a place called heaven that I felt I couldn’t access, and the fact that there were people there rejoicing- because I certainly wasn’t.

I also couldn’t imagine living in a world without my mom, and I knew that it would be a very long time before I could. Eventually I was able to feel glad for her, and for myself. This ability shocked me, and still does. The new world I began living in was informed by the love I felt, and still feel for my mom, and I began to recognize and make use of the many gifts of her death. The deaths of my dad, my older brother and cat Jupiter also filled me with this kind of love born of loss.

When my fiancé John died in 2016, the heartbreak felt so excruciating, that I felt sure it was beyond repair. I didn’t know then that it was much more about renovation than repair, and that the very things that I thought needed to be repaired were actually the materials that I needed to build new parts of my heart.

Enter 2018 and my writing and sharing something called I’m Dating the World, and then receiving a message on my Inspiration Phone line 415 546 3742, from a beautifull soul named David who had read, appreciated and related to what I had written. And a magnificent love began.

The love I am able to experience with him is directly related to the both the love and the loss I experienced with John.

That loss actually generated new kinds of love. I’m convinced it’s similar to how lava creates new land, and is no less tumultuous in its process of arrival.
I’d always heard “love never dies” and it baffled me, because how could it go on if the source of it had ended?

Now I know that it’s because love doesn’t only arise from a source- love comes through a source. And in that way, there is truly no end.

Neverending love awareness has tremendous benefits– not as an inoculation against loss, but rather as an embracing of all that love is.

On March 5, on the 3rd anniversary of John’s physical departure, David and I went to the top of a mountain to release John’s ashes.

It felt so profoundly beautifull to do this. I’d dreaded it and didn’t want to say goodbye- again. Yet I knew that part of my new hello would be better informed by doing this ritual- and it was. Here I am saying goodbye above, in the miraculous spot we found.

David and I are creating our new land and world as we create our lives together in SF. We’ve been together 10 months now, and lived together 4, and there is SO much love, and all sorts of miracles, divine agitations, resistances, exultations, puzzles, joyfull solutions, micro truth telling and hearing, and hilarious moments. Remind me to tell you about “the sponge differential.”

This photo is of my darling David out for a magical midnight walk, wearing a crown that he made of night blooming jasmine.

  

I invite you to share some way that you’ve discovered that love is neverending in your life. I’ll love to read~

 

Love,

SARK

 

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Oh JOY!!!

Oh JOY!!!

I love dreams and I love connecting or reconnecting people with their dreams or reconnecting people with their dreams. One of the very best ways to accelerate the process of making your dreams REAL, is to surround yourself with like hearted people living and playing the way you do, or want to be doing. I’m so excited to offer you a way to do that!

I first created a membership in 1998, in the earlier days of the internet and before Facebook(gasp!).
I created a free online home called SARK’s Marvelous Message Board, and 4,000 people gathered there to support each other’s lives and creations. Many became friends in real life, married, and utilized the internet for creating more community.

Having and hosting this free resource also taught me that people value what they invest in, and I knew that my next offering would be at a cost accessible investment.

I always dreamed of creating a way for people to practice and play together in a more focused, committed way- utilizing the internet specifically for building emotional intimacy and personal growth with all the teachings from my 18 bestselling books and ways of being and mentoring from my 30+ years of being SARK.

Fast forward to now, and over a year ago, I created and started offering that program and community of my dreams.

It’s called:

Succulent Wild World: Live Your REAL Dream Life With SARK.

If you join before midnight tonight, Friday/29th as a Happy Early Bird, you’ll also receive my: Journal to Joy – an 80 page full color digital journal designed to help and support you in your JOY + Creative Expansions. The transformational art and practices in this journal will change, uplift, and inspire you.

REAL as in how you are right now- in the marvelous messy middle of your life- blending and alchemizing the wonderfull and terrible things into a brand new healing mixture.

It’s one of my favorite things I’ve ever participated in creating. You may know that I experience spirit creating through me, so full credit goes to that source:-)

We are so glad to have hundreds of succulent souls from 50 states and 21 countries. Happy members are growing and learning together, and creating new kinds of consciousness, deeply supporting and being supported by others, creating books, businesses and other offerings, and learning new self care and love skills through play and having FUN.

It’s a home with no homework.

There’s a whole buffet of options to play and practice with and a robust library of video class recordings, guided colorfull written content and fun prompts. There are optional “dessert” times to gather with other marvelous members after our twice monthly mentoring sessions on video with me, and a whole radiant assortment of other features and benefits- which by the way spells FAB.

And I’m so glad to be able to offer my Magical Mentoring so cost effectively to more people! Out of everything I’ve ever done, it’s mentoring that has helped me create and build my whole wonderfull life into what it is today, and I’m so glad to be able to mentor others now too.

I have a small private Magical Mentoring practice, where I work one to one with a small number of people, and of course it’s a significant investment to work in that way with me, and spots rarely open up.

For mentoring with me in Succulent Wild World, it’s just $20 a month or $149 a year!! We’re also offering a 2 payment plan for annual memberships, which is 2 monthly payments of $85! And this price is just for the GLEAMING reopening. The cost will rise after April 2.

I’m so glad to say that those costs go towards my creating new content- for example, I write an inspiring guided book that you can use in your life each month! And of course we have exceptional customer service and the best members ever!
Plus for members, there are deep discounts on other SARK programs & reTREATS for members and Glorious Guest teachers who mentor alongside me.

Teachers and mentors like my publisher Marc Allen, artist and author Brian Andreas, Wake Up Call Coach & bestselling author Amy Ahlers, Illuminated Liberator Danielle LaPorte, artist, poet and activist Shiloh Sophia McCloud and a whole frisky bunch of others! It’s a glorious way to all play and learn together.

I like to think of Succulent Wild World as a powerfull playground for people who like to make waves, and then create new ways and waves to live their REAL dream lives- together. And it’s even easier to do that in community with other kindred spirits.

Here’s a favorite note 🎼 I just received about it:

“I’ve been in this group just a little over 12 hours and to see a post like yours is so heart opening. I Love knowing that each share in this Succulent Wild World playground will be infused with love is super delight-filled. It’s so fun to practice this uber appreciation, so that it just squeezes out of me as I walk through the world. So thank you…Thank you…Thank you.”
~Maria R

 

You are most delightfully invited to join me and all the wave-makers! Come and play.

Here’s what member Arnold M. had to say:

“SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy) It’s True! You ARE Your Posters Come To Life! 🙂 That’s the Best Description of this Community I have heard yet! First you made Posters for People to see. Then you wrote books for people to read. Then you made Blankets so that people could wrap themselves up in your words and relax into them! And now we get to Live your Words and Take Action… It’s like a kid having heard about The Polar Express and then the train suddenly pulls into their front yard! “
“ALL ABOARD…”

You can experience what it’s like in Succulent Wild World with a recording of an uncommon video class about dreams that I taught in Succulent Wild World on Wednesday~ It’s available until Sun/30th at midnight! Go here to watch!

Love,

SARK

 

p.s. you’ll receive a recording of this video class when you sign up too. Here’s to all the MAGIC.

Dreams being made REAL A love story of my soul~

Dreams being made REAL A love story of my soul~

When I asked for your creative dreams last week, I was MIGHTILY INSPIRED by what you wrote. Just look at how inspired I am! I was once again reMINDED that people are all-ways dreaming, and it’s never too late.

I received SO MANY messages from wonderfull souls around the world, and most of them start with the words; I WANT TO…….then what follows is a creative expression- a love story– a way to help or inspire or make something NEW.

Here’s one of my favorite notes 🎼

“23 years ago I had no dream. I was depressed. Your book turned up one day and I’d never seen anything like it. It was winter in Scotland and winter in my heart. It took me 20 years and today I own an art gallery, I’m an artist and I live by the sea. I’m close to my beloved children and have wonderful friends in a small community. You were the catalyst Susan and I’m grateful to you everyday.”
Carol K.

Thank you Carol, and BLESS every soul with a dream and every soul who doesn’t know what it is, or fears that they’ll never know. Here’s to more and more dreams being made REAL, and here’s to the people living them in REAL ways- with all the stops, starts, quittings, avoidings, hidings, and fearings.

Here’s to our fears transforming and new creations growing, and to people keeping going & GLOWING.

I often say that I’ve waited my whole life for technology to catch up with me, and
I believe that we always teach best what we most need to learn. I also believe that we can create what we want or need because of what we didn’t have.

One of my creative dreams made REAL is that I created the kind of online family environment I always wanted- a place where ALL feelings are allowed and encouraged, where people are deeply connected to their intuition, and where people are shown how to practice alchemizing and blending the wonderfull and terrible things into a brand new healing mixture that they can then share with the world. Where people are actively transforming and feeling loved. And in this kind of environment, lots of dreams are being made REAL.

I knew that if I could gather like hearted souls, technology could support us all in living the kinds of creative and loving lives we always wanted to live- the REAL kind of creative dream lives.

 

What’s your dream? I love asking this and hearing what people are creating, or envision creating. And now with the help of technology, we can publish and share our dreams SO MUCH MORE EASILY.

And we do more things when they’re easy or fun- most of my dreams that I’ve made REAL have come from relaxing in some way. It doesn’t mean that I don’t work and focus, it means that ideas FLOAT IN when we create a little space for them to do so.

I’m teaching an uncommon video class about ideas floating in and us living more of our REAL dream lives (especially if you don’t know what yours is or whether it will ever happen) this Wed/27 5:30-7 pacific and you’re invited to be my guest. Let me know in the comments if you’ll be there!

Register here

and I’ll send you the recording if you can’t be there.

If you can be there, bring some colorful markers and an open heart, and I can promise *inspiration. Here, there and everywhere.

Love,

SARK

 

*inspiration because you’ll be there;-)

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What’s Your Dream?

What’s Your Dream?

What’s Your Dream?

I endlessly love asking this question. I’m always so curious about what people carry inside their hearts and souls.

Sometimes I describe it as a creative dream, although some people question whether they’re creative or not, which is a whole other conversation (hint: you are.)

I asked my lovely mail carrier this question the other day and his whole face lit up as he said;

“I want to help people learn math!” And he excitedly described how he was going back to school for this purpose.

Then he mused about his age and whether it was “too late” for his dream.
I was reminded that our dreams never leave us- we leave them for various reasons, and sometimes put them away entirely.

Meanwhile, the dream waits.

Sometimes dreams want to be revised, edited, or reawakened.

And in every case, dreams benefit from being shared.

Making creative dreams REAL involves intention, commitment and focus, along with resiliency, humor and hope, and a dash of outrageousness. And, you will encounter every kind of fear and obstacle too.

How you choose to relate to the blend of emotions about your creative dream- and keep going, is your great opportunity.

I dreamed mightily about having another great love, and it created itself around me, despite my fears, resistances and feelings of hopelessness. Of course I also felt inspired, hopefull and glad too. Our dreams are happy to be made real in the midst of all of our feelings!

Let me know one or more of your dreams and let these words celebrate, encourage, inspire, uplift and DARE you to do so. As you share, it is made more REAL.

Love,

SARK

 

p.s. I’m sharing one of my favorite dreams made real next week and will be inviting you to join me. It’s a caravan of curiosity.

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Growing in a Cocoon of Fullness

Growing in a Cocoon of Fullness

So many of you have encouraged me to continue writing about my new (although now 9 months old) love relationship with David- thank you so much for reading along with me. Your reading and interactions inspire me and my writing.

My intention is that my words inspire, uplift and provide love to you, amidst shared joys and marvelous messy middle resonances. I absolutely love sharing my life journey, and have in all my books and writings throughout the years, and will continue doing so!

As you may know, David moved in with me in December, and we began the process of turning it from my home into our home- and what a juicy, fun, micro truth telling, joyfull solution creating process it usually is!

David and I went on our 5th spiritual honeymoon in February, when we vacationed for a week with his parents in the Caribbean.

After we returned home to San Francisco from that trip, we both got sick, so we laughingly renamed the 6th honeymoon the “sick honeymoon.”

As I lurched around the house, eyes half open and hair a bit matted, I felt more and more myself with David being there too- all pretense and “impression management” thankfully having (mostly) fallen away.

As he drove me to and from acupuncture, bought the food, cooked the food and did the dishes, and all household things, I leaned back to receive, and disconnected (mostly) the incessant internal scorecard that usually dictates how much I will allow someone to give to me- because how will I pay them back? And if I can’t pay them back, I might (horror of horrors) feel that I owe them, or be indebted to them. And then they could have some kind of control.
I’ve been much more comfortable giving, so that I can feel “in control.” Even though I know it’s all an illusion- and all part of the healing from earlier traumas. I’m practicing receiving more often now, and it can sometimes feel uncomfortable.

Of course all giving and receiving is meant to be like the infinity symbol, one merging into another and all accounting done for the we and not the “me.”
I noticed gladly too that David took good care of himself in the middle of taking care of me. He also had fewer symptoms, which we both felt really glad about.

Having been plucked from my glorious daily routines of beach walks, seeing friends and working, I finally let myself be in a kind of surrendered cocoon. Once I gave up trying to “do” anything, I had the luxury to just be sick and feel all there was to feel. Feelings need attention always, but especially during times of illness.

Throughout my life, my feelings have always been affected by what I ate, and I had often over indulged in eating sugar when I was sick, as a kind of comfort or reward.

I had long known that sugar was detrimental to me, and had tried many many many times to let go of it- but without success.

In 2015, when my fiancé John was suddenly diagnosed with inoperable stage 4 cancer, I decided it was time for me to take better care of my health and let go of eating refined sugar.

I simply couldn’t eat sugar moderately. Even when I rationed the amounts and ate “healthy” versions of snacks or desserts, I found myself consumed with thoughts of the next serving. When I would eat sugar, it provided an immediate “high,” accompanied by a low feeling after, then a kind of recovery process, with my body trying to restabilize my blood sugar and feel good again- until the next sugar consumption.

It was a classic vicious cycle, and I don’t like anything vicious!

John’s health experience and physical death inspired me to let go of it for good.
I decided that it would be one of his many gifts to me. And John was so supportive about it of course.

And I did it.

It’s been almost 4 years now, and I don’t ever plan to go back.
David encouraged me to share about this, in case there are others who would like to change their relationship to sugar. Shortly after David and I met, he showed me a sign that he’d made for himself that said,

“I LOVE LETTING GO!”

He commented that he saw me as someone who loves letting go. This shocked me, as I’d always thought of myself as someone who primarily loves to hold on. But the more I reflected on this, the more I saw ways that I do love letting go, and letting go of eating sugar was a big one.

I also recognized that I had been trying to get love or sweetness from sugar or “treats”, so I began experimenting with giving myself that love and sweetness in ways that didn’t involve food– through extensive self hugging, innovative affirmations, and spontaneous rituals.

These included my inner feelings care processes-aka feeling ALL of the feelings in my emotional family-and tending to each of them. I then began to eat foods more medicinally, juicing fresh vegetables, receiving constitutional homeopathy, Japanese acupuncture and other forms of healing bodywork. I also asked friends and family to support my intention to let go of sugar.

It felt remarkable to be replacing the substance of sugar with the sweetness of loving myself and receiving so much love and support from others. I quickly began to feel the health benefits, both emotional and physical, as well.

Initially I grieved deeply the loss of what I felt that eating sugar had been giving to me. Grieving the physical loss of John was going on at the same time, during the 9 months I took care of him, and after he died March 5, 2016.

Now I feel so much continuous love and sweetness, and a steady, calm feeling almost all the time.

When I used to eat sugar, I felt jagged highs and lows, and an almost constant internal planning of when I would eat sugar again. And then there was the recovery from eating it. It feels so great to feel FREE from all of that. And David inspired me to create my own sign.

 

Occasionally I miss being able to have a bite of cake or a nibble of chocolate, and I usually take that as an indicator to drench myself with love, or eat a succulent piece of fruit.

I’ve sometimes wished I could eat and metabolize sugar easily. Yet it was empowering and validating when I had a complete physical 2 years ago and discovered that my body (and blood sugar) was predisposed to diabetes- and that my decision to let go of sugar was foundationally important to my continuing to experience ongoing good health.

For those who might wonder, I did lose weight when I let go of eating sugar, but not the amount I had always envisioned. I’m now discovering that there are other dietary changes I could make for that purpose- I’ll let you know if I make any along the way. I’m going very slowly these days, wildly enjoying (mostly) the body that I’m in. I’m living the life I’ve always dreamed of.

Meanwhile, instead of Hershey’s, I’ll get my kisses from myself, David, babies, dogs, cats and dear friends and relatives.

Oh, and nature’s beauty- always that.

The month of March now begins the 7th spiritual honeymoon for David & me, and I know there will be surprises, love, and creative gifts flowing for us both. May sweetness and vibrant health abound!

Let me know about your experiences with sugar, or about what you’re loving letting go of- so we can all support and inspire each other.

Love,

SARK

 

p.s. I teach and mentor about how to live your REAL dream life in one of my favorite creations ever- the Succulent Wild World program and membership. It’s FUN and transformative, and I’ll be opening it up soon to new members and you’re invited!
I am so glad to be able to add more loving souls to our beautifull, creative and supportive community.

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Valentine’s Day/Life, Getting Sick/Well Loving is the Whole Point (Again)

Valentine’s Day/Life, Getting Sick/Well Loving is the Whole Point (Again)

We are all a big beautifull Valentine to ourselves, and it’s helpfull to remember that self-love is the opposite of selfish.

I like to write about self-love around Valentine’s Day and remind and inspire us all to DRENCH ourselves consistently in love- especially if we don’t know how, or if we feel depleted.

We can learn and practice new ways of showing ourselves love.
It’s tempting to think you have to be part of a couple to fully participate in Valentine’s Day, or have a Valentine Life.You DON’T!

Loving ourselves fully means loving even when we don’t know how or even want to. Self-love is an art to be explored and practiced in every kind of condition.

Above is a joyfull photo of David & me happily on our way to the Caribbean. There were also less glamorous chances to practice loving myself later when I got sick after our vacation.

Our lives are full of every kind of condition and chance to practice. Each year of my early adult life- and I was often single- my mom would send me a Valentine’s Day card with a really crisp $20 bill tucked inside. She told me that she had specially requested that crisp bill at the bank, and I appreciated her thoughtfulness and attention to detail.

In that tiny, but significant way, she was teaching me a new way to love myself too- by paying attention to details and giving myself little gifts that mattered to me.

She also taught me to buy myself gorgeous flowers, rather than wait for someone else to do that. I began and continued living life as my own Valentine, and I highly recommend it!

Now that I’m in a romantic partnership again, I can feel the machinery of the expectation of the other trying to get started….. oh he “should” do this or that, or I should. Being part of a couple does not diminish my commitment to loving myself.

If we are each fully our own Valentine, there are literally no expectations, unless we put them onto ourselves, or allow others to do so.

I’m sending you expanded love abilities RIGHT NOW, no matter what you have or haven’t done, or who is in your life in addition to you- I’m sending you a WHOOSH of sparkling, extraordinary, and ordinary love.

Leave me a little love note. I’d love to read it! Let me know something you are loving about yourself right now, or want to be loving. I want to love myself even when I get sick- especially then- and not turn on myself, or my body, for having symptoms.

David & I have recently returned from a week’s vacation on an island in the Caribbean. It was our spiritual honeymoon #5, and it took place with his darling parents, at their second home there. We feasted and fested and enjoyed ourselves, each other and the gorgeous views of the ocean. We were also supported by one of my favorite things ever- they have a rule that anyone reading be left undisturbed by anyone talking in that general area!

e also played a 4 day marathon version of my all time favorite board game Transformation, which inspired us all, and brought us even closer together to each other.

The Transformation Game is a joyfull way to understand how to play the game of your life, and this is my enraptured recommendation of it- just because I love it so. Joy Drake & Kathy Tyler are the amazing creators and can be found here. You can say that SARK sent you if you want- just for fun.

When we returned home to San Francisco, I got horribly sick with a cold & cough and felt absolutely miserable in every way. Of course my resistance to being sick has caused the most suffering. I love this quote,

“The reason we haven’t found a cure for the common cold is that the common cold IS the cure.” 

Or my new favorite that I invented: 

My cough has turned productive, which pleases the high achiever part of me.”

Meanwhile, I couldn’t breathe without coughing- and all of my potions, remedies, homeopathy, acupuncture, reiki, energy medicine, tinctures, essential oils, tapping and REST, did not result in the symptoms going away as quickly as I wanted them to. I’m feeling much better now.

And since we are newly living together, I was faced with being at my absolute worst, in front of David for the first time. I also had to cancel a major work week and chose to surrender fully to his care, since he offered, and had the time and energy to do it.

This is/was not easy for me to do.
I have been much more comfortable being in charge and doing most things myself. Becoming interdependent with another is a challenge for an independent type, and allowing more love IN requires practice receiving.

You may know that I teach about receiving too, and this is something we will be focusing on in more depth in my online membership called the Succulent Wild World. It doesn’t mean that I’m great at it, or great at it all the time! It means that we can practice a lot more- together.

I have discovered during this illness, that David’s care is a great blend of neither hovering or ignoring me, and I have gratefully received his foot massages, baths being run, beautiFULL love messages put on my wall, neck massages, meal cooking, dishwashing, vegetable juicing, book reading out loud, movie watching, library book returning & picking up, and just generally being such a dear darling soul.

Daffodils and lilies have appeared, cards were written and I am (mostly) reveling in it all. Mostly is because I’d rather have no symptoms at all, and just feel good.

I’m also aware that over the long term, we’ll both be caring for each other- perhaps less comprehensively or at least differently, than this first time.

As we further become life partners, we will see each other in sickness and in health and in all of the marvelous messy middle places in between.

And OF COURSE there are areas of disarray, places where one excels and the other doesn’t. There are forgettings, leavings, refusals or misunderstandings that arise out of proportion- one or both get “triggered” and who forgot what again, and how to allow our differences to shine past the fog of idealizing. It’s all about micro truth telling, joyfull solution creating, and letting our Inner Wise Selves and God lead the way.

We are experiencing life day to day as perfect playmates on an eternal play date- the REAL version- with all of the feelings active in our emotional families, and by allowing ourselves to break down, fall apart, confess fears, and share our big tender hearts as fully as we can with each other, and with everyone.

For we are each committed to dating and loving the world- as part of our partnership and lovership- to living in a state of Loving As the Whole Point, and to being our own Valentine’s Day/Life people.

We invite you to join us- leave a little note so we know you’re on board.

Love,

SARK

Subscribe To Receive SARKS: Printable MAGICAL MAP ACTIVATOR + KEY

The EASY way to magically bring you back to creative focus, over and over again!

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p.s. I play around on Instagram now too- you can find me there SARKifying life! You can join me here.