I Celebrate This Soul Man…..

I Celebrate This Soul Man…..

Who entered my life like a cosmic comet of love on May 21 2018, and now becomes 58 earth years on Sunday the 28th of April.

Here we are playing under a bower of wisteria near our home. The scent under the bower is dizzying in its splendor.

And here’s a partial symphony of love and appreciation for David Lee Rotman:

His Dad recently said to him, “You’re the most thoughtful person I know.”

And I agree.

He lives, works and plays in this world as an Angel of Love, and has been studying and practicing being love and loving since he encountered and experienced significant difficulties decades ago.

He is willing to primarily be with despair, rage and depression, mine or his own, without trying to fix it. And for the times he tries to fix it, he usually recognizes it and stops.

He prays.

He is learning to love ALL of the feelings in his emotional family, and practices daily, and helps me to practice too.

I love his willingness, strength, kindness, ferocity, HUMOR, ease, patience, sexiness, tenderness, creativity and incandescent spirit.

Here’s some of what I’ve learned and relearned from him in this almost year together….

I’ve learned that I could experience more life and love than I ever thought possible.

I’ve learned that patience is less a virtue than a lived choice each day.

I’ve learned that love comes again and again, in every way.

I’ve relearned that expression of all feelings is essential for love to thrive and grow.

I’ve relearned that each day can be a celebration and recommitment to love.

I’ve learned that letting go is not giving up.

I’ve learned that orgasms are a creative engine.

I’ve learned that there are many ways to care for a kitchen sponge:-)

David, thank you for doing your deep psychological work and continuing to do this work. Thank you for not only taking chances, but making them. Thank you for creating a life that you could so completely share. Thank you for moving from Massachusetts to San Francisco do so. Thank you for so fully loving your mom, dad, children, brothers, their spouses and all of your relations.

Thank you for being a creative liver, thinker and be-er. Thank you for the ways you love(d) your grandmother Ida, so that I would know your heart. Thank you for dating the world as I do, and first calling the Inspiration Line (415 546 3742) all those years ago, and then again last May and asking me to call you back, and being so present for love when I did.

Thank you for being my lover, teacher, and partner on the “eternal playdate with the perfect playmate.” Thank you for being willing to love and be loved SO WELL.

Thank you for bringing even more life to my life and for being like a male version of me;)

Here’s to more and more love being created and shared, between us and with the world, as we continue on this magnificent and sometimes terrifying journey called life.

Thank you for blending and alchemizing the terrible and wonderfull right along with me, and creating brand new healing mixtures.

Thank you for the perfection of your soul and the many ways we both choose to grow and change, and to continue doing so.

Thank you for laughing so much and making me laugh so often and completely. Thank you for having meltdowns and flip outs of your own so that I can feel even more free to have mine.

Thank you for wanting to join my Succulent Wild World community and being so utterly happy in it.

Thank you for being a Succulent Wild MAN.

Cascading thank you’s for “Majoring in Susan Kennedy and minoring in SARK.”

Thank you for loving SARK as much as I do, and in some cases more.

Thank you for truly knowing my creative and spiritual gifts and helping me to nurture and nourish them so completely.

Thank you for always bringing fresh flowers for my art table.

Thank you for encouraging me to spend time with all of my beloveds and for me to take the time and space to be “self lovingly separate” and for doing this work yourself.

Thank you for your love beaming, glowing and growing in this world. It’s an honor and privilege to know you, and to love you and to be loved by you.

Love, everlove,

SARK

 

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Happy Birth Day BABY

Happy Birth Day BABY

April is my birthday month, April 19 is my birthday day, and as some of you know, I celebrate my birthday all month.

Here I am SAVORING life in April with 5 month old baby Alice, darling daring daughter of dear friends Annie & Kyle.

And I do so delight in alliteration;-)

In honor of being alive, I thought it would be fun to create a dancing alphabetical list of just 26 ways I love and appreciate this world and you. Of course it is not a complete list!

If you feel like sending me happy birthday blessings, I invite you to also add some ways you are loving and appreciating this world– I’d love to know, and thank you!

And whenEVER you might share a comment, you are not late, it is not belated, you are right now!

 

The Dancing Alphabetical List

 

A is for Alchemizing the terrible and wonderfull things into a brand new mixture we can more easily use for healing. And A is for Amazing people constantly creating, learning, laughing and loving. I’ve waited my whole life for this time of deva-station in the world to really teach us all the real meaning of living and loving. There are powerfull Devas creating the NEW in this station of our lives, divine beings among us, and the divinity in us, bringing new forms into being.

 

B is for Benevolence in its every form, like waves and tides constantly regenerating and creating energy.

 

C is for CREATIVITY swooning around the universe seeing new ways all-ways to surprise, support and sing us home.

 

D is for Delight daring us to find the joy in every little thing that we can, and share it mightily so that others may be delighted also. D is also for David, who has entered my life and heart with such heart opening love wonderment- I love you David!

 

E is for Energy filling us all in every instant so that we can fill ourselves in return, and create more to share with the world.

 

F is for Feelings which saturate every crevice of our humanity, calling us to our knees and to the heavens in tandem rhythm ribbons.

 

G is for God who is infinite in names and expressions of love.

 

H is for Humor leaping lovingly into all our moments of life, causing a trillable erupting sound called laughter to accompany us all, and escort us through the challenges.

 

I is for INsights arriving just when we need them.

 

J is for Juiciness in EVERY form- mangoes, peaches, people, possibilities and pleasures.

 

K is for Kindness which abides as a renewable energy source, filling and infilling our souls into infinity and adding grace to all our relationships.

 

L is for Loving which really is the whole point.

 

M is for Miracles- they love to be asked for and received!

 

N is for Naps that make the world go quiet.

 

O is for our Open Hearts that we choose to keep open so that we can continue giving and receiving.

 

P is for Presence to it all- for the gifts we can give to ourselves and others by simply being present to what is.

 

Q is for Quiet and all the blessings that flow from it as a result.
R is for Response-ability and the miracles that reveal themselves through our multitudinous responses.

 

S is for SARK who magically arrived in my life in 1982, and has allowed and inspired me to share an endless fountain of creativity with this world and every other dimension.

 

T is for Tenderness that surrounds our souls and inspires us to have, to hold and to cherish ourselves and this world.

 

U is for Understanding that all the differences are more chances to practice loving.

 

V is for Vibrations which we all feel and some see.

 

W is for Wonderfull and the fullness of wonder which swells our hearts and refills our souls and sends us swirling in such splendor.

 

X is for marking and making the spot visible- it’s the “You are here” in this world, and we are all right here.

 

Y is for YES in all of its incandescent forms, and yes to all the conscious No’s too.

 

Z is for tiny dancing Zebras, because we just need them.

  

Love,

SARK

 

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Neverending Love

Neverending Love

I remember when my mom died in 2003, someone sent me a little booklet, and in it there was a story that said something like, “as you cry at their departure, someone in heaven is rejoicing at their arrival.”

I appreciated the gift, and liked the general sentiment. Yet I had all sorts of difficulties reconciling my utter despair with picturing my mom going to a place called heaven that I felt I couldn’t access, and the fact that there were people there rejoicing- because I certainly wasn’t.

I also couldn’t imagine living in a world without my mom, and I knew that it would be a very long time before I could. Eventually I was able to feel glad for her, and for myself. This ability shocked me, and still does. The new world I began living in was informed by the love I felt, and still feel for my mom, and I began to recognize and make use of the many gifts of her death. The deaths of my dad, my older brother and cat Jupiter also filled me with this kind of love born of loss.

When my fiancé John died in 2016, the heartbreak felt so excruciating, that I felt sure it was beyond repair. I didn’t know then that it was much more about renovation than repair, and that the very things that I thought needed to be repaired were actually the materials that I needed to build new parts of my heart.

Enter 2018 and my writing and sharing something called I’m Dating the World, and then receiving a message on my Inspiration Phone line 415 546 3742, from a beautifull soul named David who had read, appreciated and related to what I had written. And a magnificent love began.

The love I am able to experience with him is directly related to the both the love and the loss I experienced with John.

That loss actually generated new kinds of love. I’m convinced it’s similar to how lava creates new land, and is no less tumultuous in its process of arrival.
I’d always heard “love never dies” and it baffled me, because how could it go on if the source of it had ended?

Now I know that it’s because love doesn’t only arise from a source- love comes through a source. And in that way, there is truly no end.

Neverending love awareness has tremendous benefits– not as an inoculation against loss, but rather as an embracing of all that love is.

On March 5, on the 3rd anniversary of John’s physical departure, David and I went to the top of a mountain to release John’s ashes.

It felt so profoundly beautifull to do this. I’d dreaded it and didn’t want to say goodbye- again. Yet I knew that part of my new hello would be better informed by doing this ritual- and it was. Here I am saying goodbye above, in the miraculous spot we found.

David and I are creating our new land and world as we create our lives together in SF. We’ve been together 10 months now, and lived together 4, and there is SO much love, and all sorts of miracles, divine agitations, resistances, exultations, puzzles, joyfull solutions, micro truth telling and hearing, and hilarious moments. Remind me to tell you about “the sponge differential.”

This photo is of my darling David out for a magical midnight walk, wearing a crown that he made of night blooming jasmine.

  

I invite you to share some way that you’ve discovered that love is neverending in your life. I’ll love to read~

 

Love,

SARK

 

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Oh JOY!!!

Oh JOY!!!

I love dreams and I love connecting or reconnecting people with their dreams or reconnecting people with their dreams. One of the very best ways to accelerate the process of making your dreams REAL, is to surround yourself with like hearted people living and playing the way you do, or want to be doing. I’m so excited to offer you a way to do that!

I first created a membership in 1998, in the earlier days of the internet and before Facebook(gasp!).
I created a free online home called SARK’s Marvelous Message Board, and 4,000 people gathered there to support each other’s lives and creations. Many became friends in real life, married, and utilized the internet for creating more community.

Having and hosting this free resource also taught me that people value what they invest in, and I knew that my next offering would be at a cost accessible investment.

I always dreamed of creating a way for people to practice and play together in a more focused, committed way- utilizing the internet specifically for building emotional intimacy and personal growth with all the teachings from my 18 bestselling books and ways of being and mentoring from my 30+ years of being SARK.

Fast forward to now, and over a year ago, I created and started offering that program and community of my dreams.

It’s called:

Succulent Wild World: Live Your REAL Dream Life With SARK.

If you join before midnight tonight, Friday/29th as a Happy Early Bird, you’ll also receive my: Journal to Joy – an 80 page full color digital journal designed to help and support you in your JOY + Creative Expansions. The transformational art and practices in this journal will change, uplift, and inspire you.

REAL as in how you are right now- in the marvelous messy middle of your life- blending and alchemizing the wonderfull and terrible things into a brand new healing mixture.

It’s one of my favorite things I’ve ever participated in creating. You may know that I experience spirit creating through me, so full credit goes to that source:-)

We are so glad to have hundreds of succulent souls from 50 states and 21 countries. Happy members are growing and learning together, and creating new kinds of consciousness, deeply supporting and being supported by others, creating books, businesses and other offerings, and learning new self care and love skills through play and having FUN.

It’s a home with no homework.

There’s a whole buffet of options to play and practice with and a robust library of video class recordings, guided colorfull written content and fun prompts. There are optional “dessert” times to gather with other marvelous members after our twice monthly mentoring sessions on video with me, and a whole radiant assortment of other features and benefits- which by the way spells FAB.

And I’m so glad to be able to offer my Magical Mentoring so cost effectively to more people! Out of everything I’ve ever done, it’s mentoring that has helped me create and build my whole wonderfull life into what it is today, and I’m so glad to be able to mentor others now too.

I have a small private Magical Mentoring practice, where I work one to one with a small number of people, and of course it’s a significant investment to work in that way with me, and spots rarely open up.

For mentoring with me in Succulent Wild World, it’s just $20 a month or $149 a year!! We’re also offering a 2 payment plan for annual memberships, which is 2 monthly payments of $85! And this price is just for the GLEAMING reopening. The cost will rise after April 2.

I’m so glad to say that those costs go towards my creating new content- for example, I write an inspiring guided book that you can use in your life each month! And of course we have exceptional customer service and the best members ever!
Plus for members, there are deep discounts on other SARK programs & reTREATS for members and Glorious Guest teachers who mentor alongside me.

Teachers and mentors like my publisher Marc Allen, artist and author Brian Andreas, Wake Up Call Coach & bestselling author Amy Ahlers, Illuminated Liberator Danielle LaPorte, artist, poet and activist Shiloh Sophia McCloud and a whole frisky bunch of others! It’s a glorious way to all play and learn together.

I like to think of Succulent Wild World as a powerfull playground for people who like to make waves, and then create new ways and waves to live their REAL dream lives- together. And it’s even easier to do that in community with other kindred spirits.

Here’s a favorite note 🎼 I just received about it:

“I’ve been in this group just a little over 12 hours and to see a post like yours is so heart opening. I Love knowing that each share in this Succulent Wild World playground will be infused with love is super delight-filled. It’s so fun to practice this uber appreciation, so that it just squeezes out of me as I walk through the world. So thank you…Thank you…Thank you.”
~Maria R

 

You are most delightfully invited to join me and all the wave-makers! Come and play.

Here’s what member Arnold M. had to say:

“SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy) It’s True! You ARE Your Posters Come To Life! 🙂 That’s the Best Description of this Community I have heard yet! First you made Posters for People to see. Then you wrote books for people to read. Then you made Blankets so that people could wrap themselves up in your words and relax into them! And now we get to Live your Words and Take Action… It’s like a kid having heard about The Polar Express and then the train suddenly pulls into their front yard! “
“ALL ABOARD…”

You can experience what it’s like in Succulent Wild World with a recording of an uncommon video class about dreams that I taught in Succulent Wild World on Wednesday~ It’s available until Sun/30th at midnight! Go here to watch!

Love,

SARK

 

p.s. you’ll receive a recording of this video class when you sign up too. Here’s to all the MAGIC.

Dreams being made REAL A love story of my soul~

Dreams being made REAL A love story of my soul~

When I asked for your creative dreams last week, I was MIGHTILY INSPIRED by what you wrote. Just look at how inspired I am! I was once again reMINDED that people are all-ways dreaming, and it’s never too late.

I received SO MANY messages from wonderfull souls around the world, and most of them start with the words; I WANT TO…….then what follows is a creative expression- a love story– a way to help or inspire or make something NEW.

Here’s one of my favorite notes 🎼

“23 years ago I had no dream. I was depressed. Your book turned up one day and I’d never seen anything like it. It was winter in Scotland and winter in my heart. It took me 20 years and today I own an art gallery, I’m an artist and I live by the sea. I’m close to my beloved children and have wonderful friends in a small community. You were the catalyst Susan and I’m grateful to you everyday.”
Carol K.

Thank you Carol, and BLESS every soul with a dream and every soul who doesn’t know what it is, or fears that they’ll never know. Here’s to more and more dreams being made REAL, and here’s to the people living them in REAL ways- with all the stops, starts, quittings, avoidings, hidings, and fearings.

Here’s to our fears transforming and new creations growing, and to people keeping going & GLOWING.

I often say that I’ve waited my whole life for technology to catch up with me, and
I believe that we always teach best what we most need to learn. I also believe that we can create what we want or need because of what we didn’t have.

One of my creative dreams made REAL is that I created the kind of online family environment I always wanted- a place where ALL feelings are allowed and encouraged, where people are deeply connected to their intuition, and where people are shown how to practice alchemizing and blending the wonderfull and terrible things into a brand new healing mixture that they can then share with the world. Where people are actively transforming and feeling loved. And in this kind of environment, lots of dreams are being made REAL.

I knew that if I could gather like hearted souls, technology could support us all in living the kinds of creative and loving lives we always wanted to live- the REAL kind of creative dream lives.

 

What’s your dream? I love asking this and hearing what people are creating, or envision creating. And now with the help of technology, we can publish and share our dreams SO MUCH MORE EASILY.

And we do more things when they’re easy or fun- most of my dreams that I’ve made REAL have come from relaxing in some way. It doesn’t mean that I don’t work and focus, it means that ideas FLOAT IN when we create a little space for them to do so.

I’m teaching an uncommon video class about ideas floating in and us living more of our REAL dream lives (especially if you don’t know what yours is or whether it will ever happen) this Wed/27 5:30-7 pacific and you’re invited to be my guest. Let me know in the comments if you’ll be there!

Register here

and I’ll send you the recording if you can’t be there.

If you can be there, bring some colorful markers and an open heart, and I can promise *inspiration. Here, there and everywhere.

Love,

SARK

 

*inspiration because you’ll be there;-)

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What’s Your Dream?

What’s Your Dream?

What’s Your Dream?

I endlessly love asking this question. I’m always so curious about what people carry inside their hearts and souls.

Sometimes I describe it as a creative dream, although some people question whether they’re creative or not, which is a whole other conversation (hint: you are.)

I asked my lovely mail carrier this question the other day and his whole face lit up as he said;

“I want to help people learn math!” And he excitedly described how he was going back to school for this purpose.

Then he mused about his age and whether it was “too late” for his dream.
I was reminded that our dreams never leave us- we leave them for various reasons, and sometimes put them away entirely.

Meanwhile, the dream waits.

Sometimes dreams want to be revised, edited, or reawakened.

And in every case, dreams benefit from being shared.

Making creative dreams REAL involves intention, commitment and focus, along with resiliency, humor and hope, and a dash of outrageousness. And, you will encounter every kind of fear and obstacle too.

How you choose to relate to the blend of emotions about your creative dream- and keep going, is your great opportunity.

I dreamed mightily about having another great love, and it created itself around me, despite my fears, resistances and feelings of hopelessness. Of course I also felt inspired, hopefull and glad too. Our dreams are happy to be made real in the midst of all of our feelings!

Let me know one or more of your dreams and let these words celebrate, encourage, inspire, uplift and DARE you to do so. As you share, it is made more REAL.

Love,

SARK

 

p.s. I’m sharing one of my favorite dreams made real next week and will be inviting you to join me. It’s a caravan of curiosity.

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Growing in a Cocoon of Fullness

Growing in a Cocoon of Fullness

So many of you have encouraged me to continue writing about my new (although now 9 months old) love relationship with David- thank you so much for reading along with me. Your reading and interactions inspire me and my writing.

My intention is that my words inspire, uplift and provide love to you, amidst shared joys and marvelous messy middle resonances. I absolutely love sharing my life journey, and have in all my books and writings throughout the years, and will continue doing so!

As you may know, David moved in with me in December, and we began the process of turning it from my home into our home- and what a juicy, fun, micro truth telling, joyfull solution creating process it usually is!

David and I went on our 5th spiritual honeymoon in February, when we vacationed for a week with his parents in the Caribbean.

After we returned home to San Francisco from that trip, we both got sick, so we laughingly renamed the 6th honeymoon the “sick honeymoon.”

As I lurched around the house, eyes half open and hair a bit matted, I felt more and more myself with David being there too- all pretense and “impression management” thankfully having (mostly) fallen away.

As he drove me to and from acupuncture, bought the food, cooked the food and did the dishes, and all household things, I leaned back to receive, and disconnected (mostly) the incessant internal scorecard that usually dictates how much I will allow someone to give to me- because how will I pay them back? And if I can’t pay them back, I might (horror of horrors) feel that I owe them, or be indebted to them. And then they could have some kind of control.
I’ve been much more comfortable giving, so that I can feel “in control.” Even though I know it’s all an illusion- and all part of the healing from earlier traumas. I’m practicing receiving more often now, and it can sometimes feel uncomfortable.

Of course all giving and receiving is meant to be like the infinity symbol, one merging into another and all accounting done for the we and not the “me.”
I noticed gladly too that David took good care of himself in the middle of taking care of me. He also had fewer symptoms, which we both felt really glad about.

Having been plucked from my glorious daily routines of beach walks, seeing friends and working, I finally let myself be in a kind of surrendered cocoon. Once I gave up trying to “do” anything, I had the luxury to just be sick and feel all there was to feel. Feelings need attention always, but especially during times of illness.

Throughout my life, my feelings have always been affected by what I ate, and I had often over indulged in eating sugar when I was sick, as a kind of comfort or reward.

I had long known that sugar was detrimental to me, and had tried many many many times to let go of it- but without success.

In 2015, when my fiancé John was suddenly diagnosed with inoperable stage 4 cancer, I decided it was time for me to take better care of my health and let go of eating refined sugar.

I simply couldn’t eat sugar moderately. Even when I rationed the amounts and ate “healthy” versions of snacks or desserts, I found myself consumed with thoughts of the next serving. When I would eat sugar, it provided an immediate “high,” accompanied by a low feeling after, then a kind of recovery process, with my body trying to restabilize my blood sugar and feel good again- until the next sugar consumption.

It was a classic vicious cycle, and I don’t like anything vicious!

John’s health experience and physical death inspired me to let go of it for good.
I decided that it would be one of his many gifts to me. And John was so supportive about it of course.

And I did it.

It’s been almost 4 years now, and I don’t ever plan to go back.
David encouraged me to share about this, in case there are others who would like to change their relationship to sugar. Shortly after David and I met, he showed me a sign that he’d made for himself that said,

“I LOVE LETTING GO!”

He commented that he saw me as someone who loves letting go. This shocked me, as I’d always thought of myself as someone who primarily loves to hold on. But the more I reflected on this, the more I saw ways that I do love letting go, and letting go of eating sugar was a big one.

I also recognized that I had been trying to get love or sweetness from sugar or “treats”, so I began experimenting with giving myself that love and sweetness in ways that didn’t involve food– through extensive self hugging, innovative affirmations, and spontaneous rituals.

These included my inner feelings care processes-aka feeling ALL of the feelings in my emotional family-and tending to each of them. I then began to eat foods more medicinally, juicing fresh vegetables, receiving constitutional homeopathy, Japanese acupuncture and other forms of healing bodywork. I also asked friends and family to support my intention to let go of sugar.

It felt remarkable to be replacing the substance of sugar with the sweetness of loving myself and receiving so much love and support from others. I quickly began to feel the health benefits, both emotional and physical, as well.

Initially I grieved deeply the loss of what I felt that eating sugar had been giving to me. Grieving the physical loss of John was going on at the same time, during the 9 months I took care of him, and after he died March 5, 2016.

Now I feel so much continuous love and sweetness, and a steady, calm feeling almost all the time.

When I used to eat sugar, I felt jagged highs and lows, and an almost constant internal planning of when I would eat sugar again. And then there was the recovery from eating it. It feels so great to feel FREE from all of that. And David inspired me to create my own sign.

 

Occasionally I miss being able to have a bite of cake or a nibble of chocolate, and I usually take that as an indicator to drench myself with love, or eat a succulent piece of fruit.

I’ve sometimes wished I could eat and metabolize sugar easily. Yet it was empowering and validating when I had a complete physical 2 years ago and discovered that my body (and blood sugar) was predisposed to diabetes- and that my decision to let go of sugar was foundationally important to my continuing to experience ongoing good health.

For those who might wonder, I did lose weight when I let go of eating sugar, but not the amount I had always envisioned. I’m now discovering that there are other dietary changes I could make for that purpose- I’ll let you know if I make any along the way. I’m going very slowly these days, wildly enjoying (mostly) the body that I’m in. I’m living the life I’ve always dreamed of.

Meanwhile, instead of Hershey’s, I’ll get my kisses from myself, David, babies, dogs, cats and dear friends and relatives.

Oh, and nature’s beauty- always that.

The month of March now begins the 7th spiritual honeymoon for David & me, and I know there will be surprises, love, and creative gifts flowing for us both. May sweetness and vibrant health abound!

Let me know about your experiences with sugar, or about what you’re loving letting go of- so we can all support and inspire each other.

Love,

SARK

 

p.s. I teach and mentor about how to live your REAL dream life in one of my favorite creations ever- the Succulent Wild World program and membership. It’s FUN and transformative, and I’ll be opening it up soon to new members and you’re invited!
I am so glad to be able to add more loving souls to our beautifull, creative and supportive community.

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Love Moves All the Furniture/Part 2

Love Moves All the Furniture/Part 2

My beloved David moved in about a month ago and you can read about that in Love Moves All the Furniture in part 1 here:

I had wondered in part 1, if I had ruined my life, if I could actually open my heart again to share it, and my life and my home, happily with another soul.

I’m glad to say that I can, I am, and I’m feeling happier and more creative than ever— and that’s a bold statement!

I’m committed to living a life that’s full of adventure, color and movement, joy, and love- and I insist on doing that from the “marvelous messy middle” with ALL of the feelings in my emotional family.
Here we are on screen in my online virtual world – a marvelous membership called Succulent Wild World, when David dropped by to offer a prayer for all of us.

In my experience, I had to feel all my feelings first- including wondering if I had “ruined my life”- in order to discover and feel that I hadn’t.

Thank you ALL for your wise and wonderful comments. I love and appreciate them! Here are some favorites:

“I love that after you and David shared your fears, your apartment expanded exponentially!! This leaves me pondering the power of vulnerability and love to transform outside the scope of our rational minds. Pure magic! Pure life! Love to you and to David.”
Kim

“Gratitude for lifting the curtain of the ‘happily ever after’ to reveal the extraordinarily complex, cathartic and courageous now. This feels like a real life, wholehearted free-ing tale instead of a ‘fairytale’. Free from expectations. Free to explore where the edges of your worlds merge. Free to love and stumble and love again. A thousand blessings to you both for sharing. Your love is healing for me to witness and I’m sure I’m not alone in that. Much love”
Asha

“Ha ha I had the same thoughts as David- you’re just a boy and a girl wanting to play together :). It’s never easy for those of us who cherish our space, but it’s SO worth it!”
Nancy

“Thanks so much for sharing your magical love journey with the world! To be honest, I have been very afraid to invite a loving and intimate partner in my life. I absolutely am embracing the idea of dating the world and being in love with everyone! I am also enjoying how your relationship with David is evolving and how you are making room to love one another.”
Liz

“Thank you for sharing your inspiring journey! It gives me courage.” Mary For me, writing and sharing about my life helps me to live my life even more fully, and feel it more deeply. Your comments are opportunities for me to learn from your experiences and feelings, and feel connected to the collective consciousness. It’s like we’re all having a great big interactive conversation about authenticity, intimacy, love, and community, and I revel in the combined constellation of us all. “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect” Anais Nin

And I also write to share what I’ve learned, experienced and am learning. My intention is for others to benefit from my experience, lessons and insights. I wrote and write all my books for me first- to discover how I felt, and then share them to connect with, or illuminate other souls.

Thanks for being one of those connected and illuminated souls.

SO…….. how did I “get happy” sharing my home and life with David??

I have a 2 bedroom home and a Magic Cottage next door to each other in San Francisco, where I’ve lived primarily by myself by choice for over 25 years. My fiancé John was the exception to that and I loved living with him for almost 4 years until he died in 2016. One of the many gifts of his death, was that I learned so much from both him, and the world, about loving and being loved.

Love itself is the supreme teacher, and brings up everything unlike itself, so after that experience I vowed to never live with anyone again. I feared that all my feelings about the loss of John were too immense to experience ever ever again.

I decided instead that I would date the world, and wrote about that too. I had discovered that my strongest healing route was to “grieve deeply and live wildly,” and accept all the succulence the world has to offer. Or as my brother Andrew said when I wondered how I could ever allow myself to be happy again,
“Oh Susan, just get into the elevator and push all the buttons.”

David arrived into my life last May on my Inspiration phone line, (415 546 3742 freely offered 24 hours a day) being drawn to my having written about dating the world, and loving that about me. He shared that he loved living that way too.

We immediately began communicating deeply and vulnerably and became very close friends before we actually met in person 4 months later. During our conversations, we developed wonderfull habits of praying and meditating together almost every day.

In those months of talking and sharing, we shared the all of allness of ourselves, and David listened well. He welcomed all my feelings and encouraged me to share them all in detail- and he shared his fears too.

That emotional foundation is why I could “move all my furniture,” and move out of the art studio I had used for over 20 years in order to make room for David to have his own room, as well as room in my life.

That emotional foundation also allowed me to feel confident that when negative emotions came up, we as a team would work together creatively to create joyfull solutions together. That’s an important part of my feeling safe in sharing my fears and vulnerabilities with David, and hearing his.

Moving out of my art studio was the kind of substantial physical change I hadn’t been ready to make with John. As close as I’d been with John and as much as I loved him, we had kept all the furniture in place. Bless John for knowing that that’s what I needed at that time, and being someone who could live so gladly with that. I had offered to make changes, and he thought we should wait. The love I shared with him helped me to become the person today who can open up to new love- which is in fact, what he told me would happen.

I knew that David would thrive with his own bedroom, and that I would too- I just didn’t see how it could happen. My art studio held my chaise lounge, my art table and all of the various cabinets, shelves, bookcases and art STUFF.

It also held space for all of my feelings, and the spaciousness that I felt were necessary for my being able to create and live happily. I treasured the inner happiness and spaciousness I had experienced with David in Massachusetts, and intended to create more of that together in San Francisco if we could.

So, we arrived together on Dec 8 to begin our 4th “spiritual honeymoon” — I had flown to Massachusetts once each month in September, October, and November—and the grand adventure of living together.

I’d explained to David that I would be working for the first 2 weeks of his living here, and we wouldn’t be able to move anything yet, and he happily agreed.

I’d then wisely scheduled 3 weeks off from work to start and complete the transformational moving process. I knew it would involve sorting, recycling and donating many things.

I want to acknowledge here the privilege I have to even have stuff, and to have the time off from work to sort through it. I lived for many years without any of that, and know that many other people don’t have the time or resources to donate, repurpose, or relocate their stuff.

I grew up with parents who over accumulated “stuff,” so I had experienced first hand, how out of control “stuff” can get. I’m glad that I chose differently in my life.

I’m also so glad to say that David and I kept focusing on creating joyfull solutions- which go beyond compromise- to create two rooms that are much better than what I had before! I would never have believed this could happen at the start.

Many years ago, I created a method called MicroMOVEments- and we used those throughout the whole process. It helped us complete everything easily without getting overwhelmed.

David loves his room too. And now that I moved things around in my bedroom I have a perfect spot for my art table right in front of my bay windows. Somehow my chaise lounge fits perfectly, along with my cabinets, bookcases and all my art supplies too!

Now after rearranging my home I find that I’m creating brand new art and writing! And I feel even MORE INSPIRED to create and share more with the world. Living with and loving David feels like being with myself ONLY BETTER.

David’s love, willingness and flexibility were such a profound gift as I deconstructed and reconstructed the spaces with his help.

And of course it was all about more than the stuff or the rooms, or anything material. It was all about the heart and the spirit and the spaces that love makes inside the heart. I continue to be amazed and delighted at how magically love moves when we yield to its power and flow. I’ll be sharing more about that with you too as we journey along~

Love

SARK

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Love Moves All the Furniture/Part 1

Love Moves All the Furniture/Part 1

David and I have lived together now for just over a month in my home in San Francisco. The process of it becoming our home is fully underway.

Here we are flying out of Boston first class after David asked for that favor at the gate just minutes before boarding began – and surprised me with two first class tickets. My eyes were so blurry from exhaustion it took a moment to register what had actually happened.

We sat in the front row of the plane and began a conversation with 2 lovely women who had just gotten married and were flying to San Francisco for their honeymoon. We shared our love stories with each other and enjoyed many laughs throughout our flight. They spent most of the flight signing, addressing and stamping hundreds of holiday cards to send to all their friends and family.

During the flight they handed David an envelope. It was exciting to get our first Christmas card addressed to us as a couple – and from people we had just met, who simply wanted to share their love with us.

Of course, it hasn’t all been easy, and great adventures often start out with some turbulence. And you’ll notice that I’m just a tiny bit dramatic. 

There ought to be an after photo of our disheveled faces 8 hours later after carrying what felt like 800 pounds of luggage up 4 flights of stairs when we arrived from the airport at 1am- and all after packing up his home that same day in Massachusetts.

When we first opened the door, I was sure that someone had shrunk my apartment by at least 50%. It seemed that this shrinking was predictive of our abilities to be happy cohabiting.

It did help tremendously that I have the Magic Cottage- a 200 square foot former tool shed downstairs, but it’s tiny and rustic and I didn’t know if David would like it enough to utilize it as a place for him to work, have alone time, and give me alone time too. I was so happy to discover that when I took him down to the cottage, his face lit up with pure joy, and he said,

“I LOVE this cottage!” (it IS magic after all) and I felt so gratefull.

My worried mind then wondered if he’d ever actually spend time there- it’s one thing to like it at first, it’s another to like it ongoingly. This felt to me like a giant metaphor about whether we’d actually be happy living together.

And of course every feeling in the world was coming up for me, all in the form of negative what IF’S. What if…………??????? These were not friendly thoughts. Bands of inner critics were also speaking, and all at the same time. It felt quite loud inside of my head. My self care practices work well- they just work after I’ve actually felt the feelings, which I was in the uncomfortable process of doing.

I worried that it felt like too big of a risk to try this, even though David had reassured me that he’d leave if it didn’t work.

My living with a lover history was slim- before my fiancé John moved in in 2012, I’d not ever lived long term with any of my many lovers. Living with John for almost 4 years became such a joy that we wrote a book about it!

Could history repeat itself? Or was John the exception to my astounding number of interior “rules?” And of course, John died in 2016, so I had that history to contend with as well.

Like many artists, I’m pretty fiercely independent and love my solitude. I’m also highly sensitive and mostly an introvert. Additionally, I work at home, writing, creating and mentoring.

Had I just ruined my life?

I barely slept that first night, and woke up to write down 83 fears that had fully arisen- fears that now could barely fit in into our living space!

David had experienced his own fears, and we started our first morning together sharing all of our new fears with each other.  And then once we had shared those fears with each other, things began to change.

As David wrote in his journal that day:

“At first we had our own worlds and energy systems and it felt like we were trying to squeeze them into a finite space. And then we relaxed and all the walls went away – and (suddenly) we were just a boy and a girl who want to play.”

Being able to share ALL of my feelings with myself and then him, expanded the size of the apartment by at least 200%, and we began visioning how the space could better accommodate us both.

It seemed clear that it would involve moving a lot of furniture- both literally and figuratively.

David is as eccentric as I am, and we both enjoy having our own bedroom. The apartment has 2 bedrooms- one of which has been my art studio for 20 years. I had resolved before to move out of that room, and now that a move was imminent, promptly felt horrified and filled with irrational love for every smidgen of what was in the studio.

My original plan was to take things out of my bedroom to somehow fit my studio in there- now I didn’t see how it could possibly work.

Also, David brought up an idea of helping me go through all my bins of art and journals that have been sitting in my garage for decades. His intuition was that there was more SARK material there that the world could benefit from. But now when he brought it up again, the thought of having even MORE things to deal with registered somewhere between frustrating and completely overwhelming and infuriating.

Plus of course, where would all of that stuff go?? How could we both happily live and create and tune in to our own inspiration in this somewhat confined, though beautifull space?

I’ll write about what happened in my next blog in Part 2!

Love,

SARK

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Love MOVED IN and ALL AROUND

Love MOVED IN and ALL AROUND

Thank you to everyone following our love journey and adding your wonderfull wisdom to our lives.

Last weekend I helped David move out of his lake home in Massachusetts and in with me in San Francisco. I could write a lot all about all the hilarious and sobering practical aspects of sharing a smaller space, and revising rooms as well as the shock of blending lives in the material world after just 7 months of knowing each other.

Instead I’m writing to you now about how MUCH the heart holds and how well loved we both feel and are, and how glad I am that I said YES, and keep saying yes to this marvelous messy middle love adventure.

Since we are made of stardust, then I am the whole galaxy dancing.

I am sending this love to you all- in whatever forms love takes for you~
I wrote a short tribute to David & to Love, and you can read it below. Let me know how love is moving in your life, and who and what you’re appreciating right now.

A Tribute to David + to Love

Thank you for:

Eagerly asking to hear my fears and feelings every day, and then deeply listening and helping me to alchemize them

Openly sharing your fears and allowing me to help you alchemize them, and exclaiming in the middle of our process, “Oh no! Someone is witnessing my insanity!”

Being exquisitely kind to me even when I’m feeling crabby- and trusting my general buoyancy when I assess that I’m less than my best

Finding my “less than my best” pretty great and meeting my authentic self with love every time

Commandeering my cell phone when I got overwhelmed by texts from my friends about plans for socializing with them. And knowing me well enough to communicate on my behalf, and making simple and perfect decisions about our time and availability

Intimately knowing my soul and reflecting it back to me so eloquently

Patiently adapting to my unique schedule and lifestyle, all while maintaining your strong connection to God and your amazing creativity

Praying, meditating, breathing, cooking, romancing, laughing, creating, lovemaking, singing, dancing, crying, and alchemizing extensively- and doing it all with grace and presence

Holding me while I cry

Helping me to invent my new life while we are living it together

Marveling at my creations and studying what most nourishes my creative life

Activating the deepest laughter I’ve ever experienced

Creating space for me to continue grieving and loving non physical John too

Living a REAL LIFE honeymoon with me every day

Thank you for being you, with me being me. Thank you to infinity and then back again.

And thank you to all of our friends and family, who called, texted, showed up, beamed in, and surrounded us with love, practical help and support- we appreciate it and YOU!

Love,

SARK

Subscribe To Receive SARKS: Printable MAGICAL MAP ACTIVATOR + KEY

The EASY way to magically bring you back to creative focus, over and over again!

Add your name & email to download the Printable PDF. You’ll also receive SARK’s weekly Living Inspired Today letter!